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Now available on our website, Peace in the Home's listing of morally-safe movies and videos for pre-teen and younger children.  We think you'll find it helpful in choosing family-friendly movies to watch with your kids.


Life at our house
Children say the darndest things, so we thought we'd share some of ours ...

Rachel at three-and-a-half: "Daddy, go get the book...I think I am going to say something!"

Andrew at three-and-a-half, to a little girl in the park: "You're a boy -- you don't have eyelashes!"

Daddy: "Leah, isn't this great?! Having a daddy-daughter drive, and spending all this time together?"
Leah (age 3): "I like mommy."


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Each for the Other

Each for the Other: Marriage as it's Meant to Be, Revised Edition



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GPS for Marriage

"If you ever plan to motor west,
Travel my way, take the highway that is best.
Get your kicks on route sixty-six."
                                                         ~ Bobby Troup, Jr.

Years ago, I organized a car rally in the beautiful Okanagan Valley of British Columbia.  Fitting for the region's fruit growing reputation, the event began in the parking lot of a juice company, and ended at a hilltop vineyard and winery with a magnificent view of the valley.  Each car carried a driver and a navigator -- either husbands and wives, or boyfriends and girlfriends.  Each pair's goal was to follow time, distance and rally symbol directions, and find their way to an unknown finish on time -- with their relationship intact.

Cars were dispatched every three minutes.  We had to laugh when one well-seasoned married couple pulled away.  Through the rear window we could see the wife's arm pointing one way, while her husband quickly turned the other.  Here was a couple who were in for a very interesting day!

Nowadays, route navigation is facilitated by GPS-assisted devices, taking the guesswork (and fun) out of getting almost anywhere.  (Thankfully, it's also eliminated the need for guys to go against their gender wiring to stop and ask for directions!)

Marriages often need directional assistance.  Husbands and wives can find themselves on different roads, going in opposite directions, or driving around and around for years in the same old ruts.

If only there was GPS for marriage.  A navi tool that would be reliable, affordable, and available as a solid help for directionally-challenged husbands and wives.  Something that would enable couples to grow closer as they navigated the "stuff-of-life" together.

One source of advice is our culture.  It says a successful marriage is where all of one's personal needs are met.  When those needs aren't met, it says:  "Life's too short -- bail out!"  Sadly, our culture has lost all sense of what marriages and families need to succeed.

Have you ever driven south on I-95 through North Carolina and tried to ignore those "South of the Border" signs?  Through colour, sheer size and quantity, they have a way of demanding our attention and wearing us down, in order to have us take just one exit -- one diversion from our route.

For a husband and wife on the journey of marriage, the hardest turn to resist could also be one of the least helpful.  Seductive signs entice couples to TURN LEFT, and follow a better route called "What-You-Can-Get-Street" or "Get Street" for short.  All along this smooth road, mileage signs count down promises to happiness, satisfaction, healing, contentment and excitement.  As you can imagine, traffic gets pretty heavy on this route.

"For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter it are many."   ~ Matthew 7:13

Until 1991, I was an unashamed full-time traveller on "Get Street", pursuing every delight, and meeting my needs at the expense of fellow travellers.  Trouble is, selfish people don't last long in relationships.  Two divorces and a string of broken relationships later, I finally "got" it:  "Get Street" is a dead-end, and its promises are lies.

The most reliable navigational aid for relationships isn't new technology.  It's God's word.  It doesn't drift with the culture, blow with the wind, or have an expiry date.  It just works, because of its source.  When it does fail ... well, it's one of those user errors.  

The Bible says that genuine success is found on the straight route.  Staying straight on a way or road is a Hebrew metaphor for obedience (not a popular theme in many places today) and faithfulness.

"Do not swerve to the right or to the left;
turn your foot away from evil."
                                                       ~ Proverbs 4:27

"Only be strong and very courageous, being careful to do according to all the Torah that Moses my servant commanded you; do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may have good success wherever you go."   ~ Joshua 1:7            

For married travellers, the straight route is called "What-You-Can-Give-Street", or "Give Street".  It's not as smooth or well-travelled as "Get Street".  Most of the road signs have been knocked down, shot at, or rusted out long ago.  (Market share doesn't justify the upkeep).  No one's adopted this stretch of highway.  But, staying on this road is your key to success, it's GPS for a directionally-challenged marriage, and it's the only road you'll want to get your kicks on.

"Love gives.  Giving is to love what eating is to hunger.  God so loved the world that he gave."    ~ John Ortberg

Husbands and wives who travel "Give Street" consider their mate's needs before their own -- emotionally, sexually, spiritually.  They learn about their spouse's highest needs, and they "jump through hoops" to satisfy them.  A "Give Street" husband will risk his life for his wife and family.  He'll turn off the television when his wife walks into the room needing to talk, and he'll talk to her for as long as she needs, as an act of love.  "Give Street" couples pursue understanding over being right, and emotional intimacy over fear and pride.  A "Give Street" husband will even empty the dishwasher, and engage in non-sexual touch.  Seriously.

One of the Hebrew words for love, "ahavah", contains within it the Hebrew verb "hav", meaning "to give".  In the biblical model for marriage, unconditional loving and giving and giving and loving are theologically-inseparable actions.

I find it incredibly humbling that the God who created us, and who will ultimately hold us responsible for all of our choices, is the same God who loves us enough to tell us which way is right, and which way is wrong.

"There are three phases to any worthwhile enterprise:  impossible ... difficult ... done."    ~ Hudson Taylor

By-the-way, that couple who started the rally with a wrong first turn, finally made it to the winery -- quite late, but greeted with a hearty round of applause.


Parting Thoughts ...
If you are married or engaged, here are some things to discuss:

1.  "Get Street" and "Give Street" run in opposite directions.  Which one have you been spending more time on recently?

2.  Ask your husband or wife for their perspective on which street you travel the most.  (Giving is always best viewed from the receiver's perspective).

3.  Ask you mate for suggestions on how you might improve your "Give Street" travel, ie. how you can be more giving and less self-focused.  Their suggestion might be in terms of how you allocate your time, how you order your priorities, how you behave when you are together, or whose needs are met when the "rubber meets the road."

I'm going for a drive.  There's no navi in my fourteen-year-old car.  I'm just gonna follow my nose.  Please email us your thoughts and comments.  We love hearing from you!

rgp