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Newsletter | Inspiration, Insight & Information June 2012 | |
Does God Give Us More Than We Can Handle? |
By Angie Witman, LCP, LMFT
For years, I have heard that God will not give us more than we can handle. I have talked to many clients who would argue with this theology. When they come into my office, they often feel as if God has given them much more than they can handle, thus the reason they are seeking therapy. They think God has forgotten about them, abandoned them, and does not care about them. Although none of the above is true, most of us can identify with these thoughts and feelings.
For some of my clients, the reason they experience these doubts is because their earthly father was absent, emotionally unavailable, harsh, or did not know how to show love or affection. Sometimes when this has been the case, people project their earthly father's traits onto their Heavenly Father. I give these people scripture to ground themselves in, such as "'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the Lord." (Isaiah 55:8) I explain to my clients that God loves them and knows they are stronger than they think they are. Although they do not realize it, they are underestimating their strengths, resources, and resiliency. "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: 'For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.' No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." ( Romans 8:35-38). I do think we tend to underestimate what we can really handle.
Additionally, we Americans have become quite used to comfort and quick results, so we especially want out of uncomfortable or painful situations as quickly as possible. Most of us can think back to a time when we thought we could not get through something, but we did and we survived it. Sometimes, we run into someone who has it worse than we do. Empathizing with that person helps put our problems into proper perspective. One of my favorite scriptures I like to use with people who are going through tough, or seemingly unbearable situations, is Romans 8:28, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
However, I also think sometimes God does give us a little more than we, ourselves, can handle. This is not because He is mean or does not care about us. In fact the opposite is true. He allows us to have a little more than our human potential, resources, or strengths can handle so we will realize how much we need Him. The Bible says, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:9) God wants us to rely on His strength and His help. He loves humility and, let's face it, anytime we have to ask for help, it is typically a humbling experience. God often provides His help in our time of need through other people. If we humble ourselves and accept or, better yet, ask for help from others, we are more likely to accept or, better yet, ask for help from our Heavenly Father. The reverse can be true as well, as when we recognize that God is helping us, we may be more willing to ask for help from others. Either way, it places us in relationship with God and others. Consider how it feels when helping others. We often feel blessed, usually more blessed than those we helped. Thus when we do not allow others to help us, we essentially rob them of an opportunity to be and feel blessed, not to mention robbing ourselves of the blessing God meant for us to have. Jesus says, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." (John 10:10) This explains who is behind our stubborn pride that causes us to reject or not ask for help, not to mention who is behind a full life of blessings.
So sometimes God does give us more than we can handle by ourselves. He only does this to give us opportunities to grow spiritually and relationally with Him and others. However, our Heavenly Father, who loves us more than we can imagine, will never give us more than we can survive. Remember His promise, "I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength." (Phil 4:13)
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Angie Witman is a licensed clinical psychotherapist and a licensed clinical marriage and family therapist. She has been an outpatient counselor for over 20 years and has worked for Meier Clinics for nearly 14 years in Goodland and Colby, Kansas. Angie is married with two children, and her family is active in their church, schools and the community. For more information about Angie and other therapists and services available at one of our Meier Clinics locations, please visit www.meierclinics.org or call us toll free at 888-7-CLINIC.
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The Power of the Mouth
by George Stahnke
You've heard it said, "A picture is worth a thousand words." I love this one of Laurel and Hardy. It reminds me of Proverbs 11:9, 12-13 (AMP), "With his mouth the godless man destroys his neighbor, but through knowledge and superior discernment shall the righteous be delivered. . .He who belittles and despises his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding keeps silent. He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy and faithful in spirit keeps the matter hidden."
Take a moment to think . . . How many times have you been disappointed or hurt emotionally because of gossip, accusation or slander? Painful wasn't it? And how many times have you joined a
conversation where you and others may be slandering someone else? I must confess it has been too often! You hear that little tidbit, that juicy morsel of information and you are hooked. "Are you serious. I can't believe it. Tell me more!" "Oh and by the way. . ." Sound familiar?
Scripture is painfully clear. Gossip, loose talk and reckless words promote quarrels, compromised relationships and injure others. Take the time to read these additional verses.
Proverbs 16:28 (AMP) "A perverse man sows strife, and a whisperer separates close friends."
Proverbs 21:23 (AMP) "He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from troubles."
Proverbs 25:9 (CEV) "When you and someone else can't get along, don't gossip about it."
Proverbs 26:20 (NLT) "Fire goes out without wood, and quarrels disappear when gossip stops."
Many would agree there is a lot of wisdom in what is not said. Carlyle wrote "Silence is more eloquent than words." A German proverb says, "Speech is silver; silence is golden." La Bruyere said, "It is a great misfortune neither to have enough wit to talk well nor enough judgment to be silent." Syrus reflected, "I regret often that I have spoken; never that I have been silent."
I am reminded of the number of times that my mouth has gotten me into trouble when silence would have kept me out of it.
Psalm 141:3 (AMP) "Set a guard, O Lord, before my mouth; keep watch at the door of my lips."
I love the Apostle Paul's admonition, "Let no foul or polluting language, nor evil word nor unwholesome or worthless talk [ever] come out of your mouth, but only such [speech] as is good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others, as is fitting to the need and the occasion, that it may be a blessing and give grace (God's favor) to those who hear it." (Ephesians 4:29 AMP)
I pray God gives us all the courage and grace to live out these truths.
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George Stahnke has been in ministry over 30 years serving fifteen as a senior pastor. He has taught in Ukraine, Philippines, India, and China. George works in the counseling department at Focus on the Family and is the founder of Renewal Ministries of Colorado Springs, which includes private counseling. For more information about FOTF, call 855-771-HELP or visit www.focusonthefamily.com.
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Meier Clinics Specialty Programs
Day Program for Adults is available at the following Meier Clinics: Wheaton, IL; Richardson, TX; Bothell, WA.
Sexual Addiction Intensive Outpatient for Adults (Pathway to Freedom) at Meier Clinics in Richardson, TX.
After-school Intensive Outpatient Program for Teens (Breakaway) at Meier Clinics in Wheaton, IL.
Residential Care for Women and Teens at Timberline Knolls in Lemont, IL, with a Meier Clinics Christian track.
For additional information about these programs, visit our website at www.meierclinics.org or give us a toll free call at 888-7 CLINIC (888-725-4642).
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The Efficacy of Mindfulness-Based Therapy in Treating Co-Occuring Disorders
Individuals with co-occurring disorders have one or more addictions relating to the use of alcohol and/or other drugs and one or more emotional disorders such as OCD, an eating disorder or depression. For example, a person may have an addiction to prescription medication and suffer from bipolar disorder. The Replication of the National Comorbidity Survey (NCS-R) concluded that, in their lifetime, nearly half of U.S. adults (46.4%) will meet criteria for a DSM-IV disorder, while almost a third will have two or more disorders. At Timberline Knolls, the vast majority of our residents are admitted with a dual diagnosis. We treat co-occurring disorders concurrently, recognizing that this approach offers the best possibility for complete recovery. Mindfulness, the underlying element of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), is incorporated into most aspects of treatment. Mindfulness lays the groundwork for all of DBT, since it provides the critical interruption between thought and action. Timberline Knolls residents are typically overwhelmed by their thoughts. Unlike the rest of the world, these individuals do not recognize the benign nature of thoughts; instead, they perceive them as truth and/or directives, then act on them accordingly and persistently. This is referred to as overlearned automatic thinking, which leads to overlearned automatic response. An individual suffering from severe depression thinks "life is hopeless," and because she views that thought as an inescapable fact, she reaches for the prescription bottle out of sheer habit. This way of thinking results in specific neuro pathways becoming hard-wired. In turn, this causes brain synapses to naturally travel along this pathway, the path of least resistance. Mindfulness-based therapy is an excellent tool because it targets both behavioral and neurobiological processes. Mindfulness, in effect, forces someone to stop, notice the thought, and give it the value it truly deserves, then choose to react to it in a whole new way. Commensurately, the more this new behavior is practiced, the more the neuro pathway will alter to support this new response. Mindfulness-based therapy has the power to change lives and allows our residents to live in the moment. It reflects what many scriptures tell us. Such as in Psalm 118:24 - "This is the day the Lord has made..." Of course, we know the rest of the scripture, but this first part encourages us to see that God is responsible for this day, that there will never be another exactly like it. We want our residents to just "stop," notice the thoughts they are having, take a moment to reengage with the world around them - specifically the day that "they're in," - then choose to break the habitual reaction chain. The depressed woman who thinks life is hopeless may look about and notice the flowers in the garden or how pretty her cat looks lying in a sunbeam and deliberately choose to not take a pill right that minute. Is she suddenly depression-free? Certainly not; but she broke the chain and that is an excellent first step. With time and practice, she may develop a new, healthy and freedom-based response to thoughts that previously only served to cause her harm; at some point, she may even begin to "rejoice and be glad." 
Timberline Knolls is a residential treatment center for females, ages 12 and older, nestled in a wooded area in a southwestern suburb of Chicago. Christian counseling with Meier Clinics staff is available to those residents who request it. For more information about this wonderful facility and program, call 877-257-9611 or visit www.timberlineknolls.com. |
Happy Father's Day
to all our readers who are serving in the role of father, whether as a biological father, an "adopted" father or a mentor to someone else's son or daughter. Your love, Christ-like example, and the time and energy you pour into others makes a huge difference! Isn't it wonderful that we all have a Heavenly Father we can always call upon when we need help! At Meier Clinics, we fully understand the power and healing that comes from the Father. That is why we address the spiritual health of our clients as we attend to their emotional needs. If you would like to help someone receive Christian counseling care who otherwise could not afford it, please make a tax-deductible donation today to Meier Clinics Foundation. There are three easy ways to give:
Mail: MCF, 2100 Manchester Rd., Ste. 1510, Wheaton, IL 60187-4561
Phone: 800-848-8872
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"As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed,
he remembers that we are dust."
Psalm 103: 13-14
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Thank you for taking time out of your day to read our newsletter. We hope it has been  encouraging and helpful. If you would like more information about Meier Clinics and how we might be of service to you, please call us at 888-7CLINIC to be directed to the Meier Clinics nearest you or visit us at www.meierclinics.org.
Sincerely, Sandy Newport, Editor
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