Did you know that Jesus wept? Christ showed emotion throughout his life on Earth as a mortal man. As the Creator of life and the Savior of mankind, He left us His stories. His narratives deliver descriptions of the accounts of His life, telling us his thoughts and feelings. To be a man is to have strong values and convictions, to seek the truth and stand by it. To be alive is to have feelings and passions. In one's pursuit of humanity and integrity, feelings become an internal compass leading us toward the truth and warning us against evils.

   Life has its thrills and chills. We get excited and elated, disappointed and angry, surprised and terrified. How dull our lives would be if there was never the joy of love or the sorrow of loss, but only a mechanized tedium of everyday existence. We would not experience the magic of laughter, elation from feeling loved, or blessing from being forgiven.

   Scientists have discovered that our brains are stimulated in the amygdalae, a neuronal bundle located deep within the medial temporal lobes. This is where the cues from the strong emotions from the past get stored and then are triggered and reactivated by current events. The amygdalae is involved in the storage of memories associated with emotional events, especially with strong emotions such as desire, love, safety, anger, and fear. Why did God give us such complex organs related to emotions? To feel alive, genuine, and connected. To sense when our lives are out of balance with God, self, and people. He made us emotional so that we know when it is "a time to weep, and a time to laugh" (Salomon in the book of Ecclesiastes).

   When God created this amazing world, the angels "shouted for joy" (James 2:8). When Jesus looked at its brokenness and the frailty of people, he quietly wept. Countless places in Scripture refer to strong and subtle emotions, of constructive and destructive nature, telling us that feelings are Godly, natural, and necessary. We need to hone our emotional skills to be genuine and feel connected. Unfortunately, many people try to tune out and disown their feelings. Some numb their internal pain by developing addictions: drugs and alcohol, food, sex, internet and video games, gambling and overspending, or workaholism. Others become rigid and perfectionistic, excessively controlling their diets, daily routines, or the lives of others. Avoidance, denial, and cheating can't heal. Ego enhanced by steroids and buffered by lies only increases the sense of dullness in your heart. Internal emptiness is the price for not listening to your feelings. When bodies turn into haunted houses of unsettled emotions, people develop fears, obsessions and anxieties, and become depressed.

   Some people become spoiled, wanting to pick their emotions from a life menu "a la carte;" order joy, surprise, and happiness and refuse the taste of anger, sadness, and confusion. This does not work. God wants us to experience both joy and sorrow, just like He did. When we feel internal pain and discomfort, He is trying to tell us something important: "You are broken and hurting for a reason. Your pain has a message. Do something different to heal and get better."

   One of the main tasks in life is having a sense of purpose, to accomplish things that have genuine meaning to self and others. Another major task is loving and being loved, having a sense of closeness to others and the Lord. People often suffer from physical and mental health illness, feel pained and unable to concentrate, become isolated, void of pleasure and the feeling of joy, as a result of failing to fulfill these Godly tasks of meaning and connectedness. The pain is their call to action, to transform their impoverished lives to gain ingenuity, balance, and love. Albeit the displeasure, the discomfort is good, signaling the misbalance and need for internal repair. One needs to welcome the pain, have the strength and courage not to run from it but to recognize, feel, and try to understand it. What is your discomfort trying to tell you? What are the colors of your pain? What is the name of your sadness?

   It takes courage to acknowledge our frailty, wisdom and patience to understand its origin, and strength to tolerate the discomfort from feeling the internal void, hunger, and confusion. Do not underestimate the power of support and counsel during this difficult journey: "Blessed are those who mourn. For they shall be comforted" (Matt 5:4). Talk to a pastor, a counselor, a friend. Pray, cry, journal, and use other means of internal release. Whatever you do, do not put on a show. Be frank in feeling your dark mood. Tolerate your unadulterated sadness in the process of searching for the meaning on the path toward internal healing and spiritual and personal growth.  

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Nadia Persun, Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist at Meier Clinics in Wheaton, IL.  Dr. Persun sees clients for psychological testing and evaluation, and enjoys working with individuals and families on a wide range of mental health and relational issues.  For more information about Nadia and other therapists and services available at one of our Meier Clinics locations, please visit www.meierclinics.org or call us toll free at 888-7-CLINIC.