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| Newsletter | Inspiration, Insight & Information
March 2012 | |
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Renewing Married Love |
By Barry Levy, LCSW, CCDC
"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them." (Genesis 1:27-28a) And so began the first marriage, because, it was "not good for the man to be alone." As Tertullian once said, "How can I ever express the happiness of the marriage that is joined together by the church, strengthened by an offering, sealed by a blessing, announced by angels and ratified by the Father?! How wonderful the bond between two believers, with a single hope, a single desire, a single observance, a single service! They are both brethren and both fellow servants; there is no separation between them in spirit or flesh. In fact they are truly two in one flesh, and where the flesh is one, one is the spirit."
Today, we still enjoy the good of marriage, one of God's gifts not lost in the Fall. However, because of the other effects of sin and the Fall, it is not easy to maintain marital harmony. When selfishness prevails, or the many stressors of modern life beset us, marriages suffer and even more than half of Christian marriages sadly end in separation, division and divorce. We at Meier Clinics ally with such groups as Family Bridges and Focus on the Family to restore, strengthen and preserve Christian marriages. The Family Bridges vision statement asserts, "Healthy marriages are the cornerstone of strong families, which form the bedrock of a thriving society."
What can we do to renew our marriages when they begin to strain and crack under the pressure? "Marriage is a covenant of persons in love. And love can be deepened and preserved only by love, that love which is poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit which has been given to us." (Pope John Paul II, Letter to Families)
Our first line of defense is prayer: asking the Lord for guidance and wisdom, and where we need to change. "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." (Psalm 46:1) Next, we may turn to friends, other family members, and pastors for strength, support and practical help. For "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity" (Proverbs 17:17), and "A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter: he that has found one has found a treasure." (Sirach 6:14)
There are times when a counselor is needed: an objective third party who can provide a voice of reason and experience and hold forth the light of hope. "Where there is no guidance, a people falls; but in an abundance of counselors there is safety." (Proverbs 11:14) In my own work at Meier Clinics, there has been no greater joy than in rescuing and restoring shattered marriages. My favorite file folder overflows with Christmas cards with photos of former clients and their happy children whose marriages and lives have been put back together after a near divorce.
Never give up hope. Marriages go through cycles of consolations and desolations. When in distress, we may follow the example of Jesus. When confronted by the Pharisees to sanction divorce, He recalled God's plan from the beginning: to make the two into one flesh that would never be put asunder. God never counsels the impossible: If it is his will then he will provide a way. The very love of the God who is Love formed the marriage in the first place. When we return to him, he can and will restore the lost love.
For it is not love that makes marriage: it is marriage that makes love. If we remain faithful to our vows and persevere in the hard work of forgiving, communicating our deepest emotions in a way that does no harm, and seeking wise and prudent Christian counseling, then we can be sure that God will hold up his end of the bargain and provide us with all the grace we need to keep our covenant promises.
As one who learned the secret of the power of commitment to protect and defend marriage, Thornton Wilder said, "I didn't marry you because you were perfect. I didn't even marry you because I loved you. I married you because you gave me a promise. That promise made up for your faults. And the promise I gave you made up for mine. Two imperfect people got married and it was the promise that made the marriage. And when our children were growing up, it wasn't a house that protected them; and it wasn't our love that protected them - it was that promise."
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 Barry Levy has been with Meier Clinics since 1990 and is currently the Director of the Rockville, Maryland, clinic. He is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, a Certified Chemical Dependency Counselor, a certified provider of neuro- and biofeedback, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and a certified EMDR provider. Barry also specializes in treating troubled marriages, post-traumatic stress and dissociative disorders, ADD/ADHD, depression, anxiety, and sexual addictions and issues. For more information about Meier Clinics, please visit www.meierclinics.org or call us toll free at 888-7 CLINIC. For more information about Family Bridges, visit www.familybridgeschicago.org.
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Reflections
By Christina Browning, LCSW Today I find myself longing for spring, fresh air, sunshine, and hope! Do you ever get tired? Tired of fighting, of trying so hard to be the person you want to be, or the person you feel God expects you to be? Or maybe your life is fine, but you feel lonely, unloved, or unwanted? I don't know where you're at, but I know that in life's mountains and valleys, the journey never seems to end. The victories in life are great! We celebrate, have joy, and feel loved when we are on the mountain top. In the valley, we may find peace and rest, which is always refreshing! However, those moments in between can be an exhausting, seemingly never-ending battle of work to survive. Often these times can be overwhelming and cause us to question God's love for us and His plans for us. Does God really see us? Does He really care? I believe He does! Recently God has been teaching me a lot through an old Sunday school song that, as an adult, I haven't been giving attention to. You may know it - "Jesus Loves Me this I know, for the Bible tells me so! Little ones to Him belong, they are weak but He is strong! Yes, Jesus Loves me! Yes, Jesus Loves me! Yes, Jesus Loves me! The Bible tells me so!" (by Anna Warner). Have you considered this? The Bible tells us we are loved and wanted! We belong to Him! In our weakness, He is strong! Jesus Loves Me, for Me! In good times and bad! Psalms 33:16-20 states, "No king is saved by the size of his army; no warrior escapes by his great strength. A horse is a vain hope for deliverance; despite all its great strength it cannot save. But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love, to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine. We wait in hope for the Lord; He is our help and our shield." In trying to fight in your own strength, things will seem hopeless. As humans, we can't do it! However, God CAN! God has promised to save you by His Grace! Give Him your hopes, your dreams, and whatever battle you have today; that He may be your savior today, tomorrow, and forever! Rest in His shield today knowing that God is fighting for you, He sees you, and He loves you! ________ _ ________
 Christina Browning is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and has diverse work experience in hospitals and hospice. She is a counselor at Focus on the Family (FOTF) and maintains a private practice in Colorado Springs, Co. For more information about FOTF, call 855-771-HELP or visit www.focusonthefamily.com.
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It's Your Choice!
If every Meier Clinics e-newsletter subscriber donated as little as $10.00 a month, around 125 people could get weekly Christian counseling each month that they otherwise could not afford. Would you be willing to give up a fast food meal, a specialty coffee, or another luxury so someone else can receive essential counseling?
All contributions to Meier Clinics Foundation are tax deductible within IRS regulations. There are three easy ways to donate:
Mail: MCF, 2100 Manchester Rd., Ste. 1510, Wheaton, IL 60187-4561
Phone: 800-848-8872
E-mail: www.meierclinics.org |
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| Utilizing the 12-Step Principles in Treatment
At Timberline Knolls Residential Treatment Center, we use an integrated treatment approach to help women and girls with substance abuse, mood disorders, trauma and eating disorders. This approach includes utilizing the set of guiding principles outlining a course of action for recovery found in the 12-step program. Although these steps were originally formulated to help those struggling with alcoholism, we know these principles, in tandem with dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), expressive therapies and family therapy, can make a profound difference in the recovery process from an addiction or disorder.
One of the most key values found in the first step is honesty. It is critical for each of our residents to embrace honesty from the outset and maintain it throughout treatment. She needs to recognize she is truly powerless against her addiction or disorder, and that what she has done so far is not working. From there, we honor the principles found in subsequent steps such as trusting those who are trying to help, reconnecting to self and others, making amends for harms done, giving and receiving forgiveness, developing healthy and loving relationships with self and others, and extending experience, strength and hope to others who suffer.
Although each step has tremendous significance, perhaps the most important step to true and lasting recovery is found in step two. Often, by the time a woman or girl enters residential treatment, she has lost all hope. She desperately needs to believe in something that is greater and more powerful than her disorder or addiction. As defined by the 12-steps, we strive to connect all residents with their higher power. We want everyone to tap into the incredible grace, unconditional love, mercy and support that is available from the God who loves them. We want them to know the beauty of hope.
"But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31
We want our residents to know that the God of the universe is right there, just waiting to be asked to walk alongside them. By forming that relationship, engaging in treatment, and living the steps, life-long recovery is more than possible.
Timberline Knolls is a residential treatment center for females, ages 12 and older, nestled in a wooded area in a southwestern suburb of Chicago. Meier Clinics provides Christian counseling services for those residents who request it. For more information about this wonderful facility and program, call 877-257-9611 or visit www.timberlineknolls.com. |
Meier Clinics Specialty Programs
- Day Program for Adults is available at the following Meier Clinics: Wheaton, IL; Richardson, TX; Fairfax, VA; Bothell, WA.
- Sexual Addiction Intensive Outpatient for Adults (Pathway to Freedom) at Meier Clinics in Richardson, TX.
- After-school Intensive Outpatient Program for Teens (Breakaway) at Meier Clinics in Wheaton, IL.
- Residential Care for Women and Teens at Timberline Knolls in Lemont, IL, with a Meier Clinics Christian track.
For additional information about these programs, visit our website at www.meierclinics.org or give us a toll free call at 888-7 CLINIC (888-725-4642). |
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". . .Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak
and slow to become angry. . ."
James 1:19
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Thank you for taking time out of your day to read our newsletter. We hope it has been  encouraging and helpful. If you would like more information about Meier Clinics and how we might be of service to you, please call us at 888-7CLINIC to be directed to the Meier Clinics nearest you or visit us at www.meierclinics.org.
Sincerely,
Sandy Newport, Editor
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