Meier Clinics
NewsletterInspiration, Insight & Information
June 2011
in this issue
:: Is Your Door Locked or Open?
:: Why Ask? - A Devotional from Focus on the Family
:: Specialty Programs
:: Self Injury: A Growing Problem Among Teens - A Message from Timberline Knolls

IS YOUR DOOR LOCKED OR OPEN?

By Jana Schmitt, MA, LPC-I

 

     Deep within each of us exists a God-given longing to know and be known.  Created in His image, we find our greatest fulfillment in relationships, both with our Maker and with each other.  In Revelation 3:20, Jesus graciously extends the invitation to know Him more fully and to be known by Him.  "Behold I stand at the door and knock.  If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him and he with me."

     Although we often perceive this verse to be an invitation to non-believers, He is actually talking to the church here.  Have you ever dropped by a friend or acquaintance's home unannounced and, instead of inviting you in, they cracked the door open just enough to find out what you wanted, or maybe they stepped out onto the front porch, closing the door behind them?  The message is loud and clear:  "Don't come inside."  Did you feel somewhat rejected, like an unwanted intrusion?

     Or maybe you've been a dinner guest in someone's home.  You were invited in and made to feel welcome, but only in the area that was prepared specifically for dining.  The boundaries were not physically marked, but the unspoken message was that the rest of the house was off limits.

     Now imagine a different kind of host or hostess.  This one not only welcomes you warmly into her home, but gives you free reign.  She tells you to stay as long as you want.  Enjoy the food in the kitchen, peruse the bookshelves for something to read, lounge on the patio.  She even offers you the freedom to rummage through old family photo albums and keepsakes in the attic.  You sense that she is honored to have you as a guest in her home and that nothing is off limits.

     Compare this to the picture in Revelation 3.  The Savior of the World stands knocking at the door of our hearts.  I wonder how often He feels like the unwanted guest who stands patiently waiting while we crack open the door to peer out or possibly we invite Him in but "only this far".  Don't go past this point, Jesus, because I haven't cleaned up the rest of it for you yet.  And don't we do this to other people as well?

     If our deepest longing is for true intimacy and connection, why do we keep others, including God, at arm's length?  I believe the obstacle is often shame.  In "The Wounded Heart", Dan Allender refers to shame as "the dread of being known".  Shame is that fear that if anyone really knew me, if they truly saw what was inside, I would be found lacking...inadequate...defective.  So we build walls and cover ourselves with modern-day fig leaves and only allow others to see the version of us that we want them to see.  And then we wonder why we feel so lonely, why our deepest needs go unmet.

     Shame resides in the darkness.  But it is these deep, secret recesses of our hearts that Jesus is requesting access to.  By allowing His light to shine into those dark places, we begin to find healing.  "He reveals deep and hidden things.  He knows what lies in darkness and light dwells with Him."  (Daniel 2:22)   He doesn't just want your cleaned-up, presentable parts.  He wants all of you just as you are.  Those dark closets, once illuminated by the Light of the World and surrendered to Him, can cease to be sources of shame and begin to be the evidence of His handiwork in our lives. 

     John Bradshaw, author of Healing the Shame That Binds You, says "the only way out of toxic shame is to embrace the shame...we must come out of hiding.  When we trust someone else and experience their love and acceptance, we begin to change our beliefs about ourselves."  Understandably, this can be a scary and confusing process.  A trusted Christian therapist can provide a safe environment and someone to walk alongside you as you begin the courageous process of unlocking those dark and hidden parts of yourself.

__________ ___ _ ___ __________

 

Jana Schmitt

 

Jana Schmitt is completing her Licensed Professional Counselor internship at the Richardson, Texas, Meier Clinic.  She is passionate about helping her clients find hope, healing from past trauma or hurts, and deeper meaning through their pain.  Jana is actively involved in her church and community. 

 

WHY ASK?

  

By Glen Lutjens, LMFT

  

   As a marriage and family counselor, I've heard a number of times, "If my spouse doesn't know what I need, I'm not going to tell him!" It's just as often the husband's comment about his wife. There's usually some hurt, fear or anger involved. But how is a person to know a spouse's needs unless the partner asks? A spouse can't mind-read.

   Matthew 7:7 says, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." A spouse can't mind-read, but God can. Why does the Lord tell us to ask Him when He knows every one of our thoughts? There is a risk in asking; we might be vulnerable in expressing our need and not get what we want. But God wants us to ask anyway. Why?

   There's something we learn when we voice a need to God or a spouse. We learn to live beyond ourselves. Sure, a prayer may not be answered in the way we want it to be, or a spouse may not come through for us as we had hoped. But the vulnerability in asking keeps us from isolation, insular living, and makes us dependent in a healthy way. There's value in open hands, not folded arms or a clenched fist. I'm not talking about developing an attitude of entitlement or irresponsibility. If there's wisdom in asking a person when we have a need, how much more important to ask our God who delights to show His love to us? Our responsibility is to ask. We can then depend upon our God and let Him respond as He chooses.

_______ __ _______

 

Glen Lutjens

Glenn Lutjens is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Colorado Springs.  Along with his private practice, he is a counselor with Focus on the Family (FOTF).  Glenn and his wife, Elizabeth, have been blessed with three children.  For more information about FOTF, call 800 A FAMILY or visit www.focusonthefamily.com.  

SPECIALTY PROGRAMS

 

Day Program for Adults is available at the following Meier Clinics:  Wheaton, IL; Richardson, TX; Fairfax, VA; Bothell, WA.

Sexual Addiction Intensive Outpatient for Adults (Pathway to Freedom) at Meier Clinics:  in Richardson, TX.

After-school Intensive Outpatient Program for Teens (Breakaway) at Meier Clinics in Wheaton, IL.

Chemical Dependency Intensive Outpatient Program for Adultsoffered at Linden Oaks Hospital in Naperville, IL.  Meier Clinics staff provide a Christian track.

Residential Care for Women and Teens at Timberline Knolls in Lemont, IL, with a Christian track led by Meier Clinics staff.

For additional information about these programs, visit our website at www.meierclinics.org or give us a toll free call at 888-7 CLINIC (888-725-4642).

 
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SELF INJURY: A GROWING PROBLEM AMONG TEENS 

 

   According to the Cornell Research Program on self injury, 12-24% of young people have self-injured.  Self injury, such as cutting, scratching or burning, can be a way to release or relieve unmanageable feelings and express intense inner pain. It is a growing problem among young people that needs to be addressed. Kimberly Dennis, M.D., medical director at Timberline Knolls Residential Treatment Center, stresses that parents are a first line of defense and a key part to seeking help. She also understands that the first conversation between a parent and a child can be a difficult one. She offers a helpful formula for approaching subjects as sensitive as self injury.

   "Using an 'I see, I think, I feel' formula is an effective way to approach a complex and delicate subject, and it allows parents to remain on 'their side of the street,'" said Dr. Dennis during an ABC 20/20 interview. This formula can be applied by saying to your child: "When I see cuts on your wrist, I think 'This is a problem; my kid is cutting.' and I feel scared." Dr. Dennis encourages parents to make their own observations and speak from the heart as this formula is just an outline for that conversation.

   Having an open and honest dialogue is key when parents suspect there is a problem. Dr. Dennis says many times parents are worried their child will be mad or upset about being confronted, but this formula makes it more about a parent's concerns, rather than adding to the guilt or shame the child likely already feels for his or her actions. Dr. Dennis wants parents to know that help is available and it works.

Timberline Knolls with Tagline 

Timberline Knolls is a residential treatment center for females, ages 12 and older, nestled in a wooded area in a southwestern suburb of Chicago.  Meier Clinics provides Christian counseling services for those residents who request it.  For more information about this wonderful facility and program, call 877-257-9611 or visit www.timberlineknolls.com.

 HAPPY FATHER'S DAY

We want to say "thank you" to the many men who embody the characteristics of Christ and serve as role models to others.  You don't have to be called "father" or "dad" to impact the life of a child or young adult.  You may be a light in the storm for someone who has not had the advantage of a loving relationship with their own father.  You may even help someone see our Heavenly Father in a whole new way; a Father who is compassionate, protective, forgiving, and trustworthy.  Thank you for helping boys and men of all ages see first hand the virtues of living a Godly life.

 

"A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things." 

Matthew 12:35

 

Will you reach out today so someone who is needing to heal a relationship or has other personal concerns can receive Christian counseling care?   Thank you for helping to underwrite the charitable counseling care provided at Meier Clinics.  We can do so much more together than any of us can do alone!

 

Three easy ways to give:

Meier Clinics Foundation is a not-for-profit and all gifts are tax deductible within IRS guidelines.

 
Thank you for taking time out of your day to read our newsletter.  We hope it has been Meier Clinics Logoencouraging and helpful.  If you would like more information about Meier Clinics and how we might be of service to you, please call us at 888-7CLINIC to be directed to the Meier Clinics nearest you or visit us at www.meierclinics.org

Sincerely,
Sandy Newport, Editor