Meier Clinics
NewsletterInspiration, Insight & Information
April 2011
in this issue
:: Sex - What Does God Say About It?
:: We Are All Different - A devotional thought from Focus on the Family
:: Teen Eating Disorders - A message from Timberline Knolls
:: Specialty Programs

Sex - What Does God Say About It?


 by Christy Demetriades, Ph.D.

    A philosophy about sex that is endorsed every day looks good on the surface. It looks like it's working for a while. The problem is, it isn't.  Over time, there is a breakdown. There are consequences that surpass the passing pleasure that illicit sex affords. The Bible is filled with warnings regarding sex outside marriage. And not only warnings, but the reasons behind the warnings as well. Generally speaking, the only thing people know that God said about sex is, "don't do it." And that's too bad because God is not against sex. After all, He created it. God is for sex. After all, everything He created is good. Seeing how He is the creator, we can safely assume that He knows infinitely more about the subject than anyone else.  As the inventor of this marvelous gift, He knows how it works best, and He knows how we can receive the maximum joy and benefit from sex. He also knows the potential pitfalls.

    But we don't like boundaries. So we test the limits; we climb the fences; we charge past the warning signs; and ultimately, we face the necessary consequences. Our tendency is to ignore Him and make decisions based on our inclinations or what we've heard or experienced. We are prone to adopt the world's philosophy about sex, a philosophy that looks good on paper but in the end collapses. God's very first command to humankind was in regard to sex. It was "Be fruitful and multiply" (Gen. 1:28).  God commanded Adam and Eve to get involved physically. Further evidence of God's positive attitude toward sex is revealed in the Song of Solomon. This book is so descriptive that Hebrew boys were not allowed to read it until they reached a certain age. We need to understand that He is the Creator, and thus, He is for sex. At the same time, He is for us and our well-being.

    Paul wrote, "The body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body" (1 Cor. 6:13). Contrary to what many in our culture believe, God does care about our body. He has purchased the body with the blood of His Son and filled it with the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 6:19-20).  The parameters that God has given us are for our own good, not for our misery. He is not out to deny us anything that is good for us. God made sex for marriage because sex is not just physical; it is relational. The Bible teaches when two people have sex, they become united (1 Cor. 6: 15-16). Your body is the vehicle through which you express what's in the soul and spirit. There is no way to communicate with anyone outside your body. You use your five senses to relate. You walk. You talk. You use your hands to serve. You use your ears to hear others; your eyes to see others. Your body houses your soul. Sex was designed to be the most intimate expression of your soul. You cannot have sex with your body and leave your soul somewhere else.

    God has designed sex to take place inside a relationship called marriage. Sex is an expression of total abandonment of body, soul, spirit, life, and purpose. It's the ultimate way of saying, "I'm 100% yours and for you, and you are 100% mine and for me." Because this is the zenith of intimacy, when sex is taken out of the context of marriage, there is damage to an individual's ability to be intimate. The more a person abuses this expression of intimacy, the greater the damage. Thousands of married people go through the motions of sex but experience no intimacy. Their intimacy factor has been damaged through affairs or pornography or other ways. When Paul said in 1 Corinthians 6:18 that "he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body," he was essentially saying, "You're just hurting yourself."  When someone has sex but has no intention of giving himself wholly to the other person, he creates an emotional barrier between body and soul. He begins to get detached inwardly. The act of sex is artificially removed from the intent of sex, and consequently sex is not as fulfilling as it was intended to be. Sometimes, this barrier is created after a breakup. A person gives herself totally to the other person, and then her partner ends the relationship. That explains why a person feels used after a breakup rather than during a relationship.

    Sex outside of marriage is not the answer. Think about it. Has sex outside of marriage made this a better society? Or has sex outside marriage made this a more dangerous society, a more expensive society, a more pain-filled society? Apparently, sex outside of God's boundaries isn't the answer. The body and soul cannot be separated. There are emotional and relational consequences as well as physical ones, and the One who sees His gift of sex and intimacy in total shambles must grieve. God gave us sex as a gift. He delights in having His children express intimacy. It is a picture of our oneness with Him. The "WHEN" has been the warning that whenever this gift is unwrapped outside of God's boundaries, it is a disaster.  Even when one decides it is only physical, one is deluding herself because body and soul cannot be separated. God's first command has been tampered with, tinkered with, and trampled on.

    Sex can be compared to fire in the fireplace. A fire in the fireplace is lovely. Warm. Comforting. Inviting. Pleasurable. But put that same fire on the sofa or carpet, and it is disastrous. There is nothing inherently wrong with fire, but the location has changed and that has made all the difference.    Sex was designed for one union: marriage. To use it for anything other than what it was designed to do is to abuse it, dull it, ruin it. Sex was originally designed for pure pleasure and oneness. Because we've not used it as the Designer said, we're robbed of intimacy.

    Perhaps you have scars of consequences because of sexual sin. The Lord Jesus has scars because of the consequences of your sins, too. There is hope! But you must face reality that the Designer knows best. Look up and thank Him that He can restore you to the intimacy He created you for. Your body and soul cannot be separated. He wants both to belong to Him. That's the height of intimacy!


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Christy Demetriades

Christy Demetriades, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist at Meier Clinics in Laguna Hills, CA.  Her therapy style is insight-oriented, psychoanalytic and relational, and she is sought after for her work with addictions, eating disorders, relational issues, anxiety, depression, PTSD, perfectionism, women's issues, pre-marital counseling, personal and spiritual growth.  For more information about Christy and the California Meier Clinics, visit

We Are All Different


by Ron Wilson, MBA


    My undergraduate major was psychology and, sometime during those four years of college, I discovered a book titled Please Understand Me and the Meyers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). The author's point was that we are all different, and our task is to understand each person, not to try to make each other into a sculpture of ourselves. I began to realize each of the temperaments lived life differently. Over 30 years ago I wrote, "These are not static truth statements but the beginnings of a theology of Christian experience which assumes that temperament is a determining factor in the nature of each person's Christian experience."

    Recently, I put together a rough draft of some ideas that summarize some of the understanding I have gained. It is painfully simple, but being a practitioner rather than an academic, I will present some insight from that process.

    Please Understand Me is an approach to the MBTI which suggests four basic temperaments under which all sixteen types fall. They are the Guardians (SJ), the Artisans (SP), the Rationals (NT), and the Idealists (NF). (For further information see

    My experience over 30 years of non-profit management has demonstrated that spiritual formation issues exist for each category. Artisans struggle with spiritual disciplines; Guardians often become rules driven and traditional; Rationals can be elitist; Idealists have to deal with idealism.

    God adjusts how he relates to individuals based on the temperament He created. I have seen this most clearly when God has taken a person through a season of brokenness. Guardians can fail in their duty; Artisans often fail to resolve a crisis; Rationals can be crushed by losing a sense of vision; Idealists can lose their sense of identity.

    I continue to reflect on these ideas and not a day goes by without learning something new about people. The seeds of 30 years ago have become massive trees that bear their fruit in due season.

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Ron Wilson

Ron Wilson, MBA, has worked at Focus on the Family for 25 years in various roles.  Currently, he works out of the Counseling Department as the Spiritual Coach and Mentor responsible for the Staff Care On Purpose Program.  For more information about Focus on the Family, call 800-A FAMILY or visit


A Harsh Reality of Spring


Are you aware that the spring months typically see suicide rates increase?  If you or someone you know is feeling hopeless and helpless, please seek professional care immediately.  Many times people feel they just don't matter, but every life is precious and God created everyone with a purpose. 


Can you generously give this Spring to help someone who needs counseling care but can't afford it?  You might be saving someone's life! 


Phone:  800-848-8872


Mail:  MCF, 2100 Manchester Rd., Ste. 1510, Wheaton, IL 60187-4561

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Meier Clinics Foundation is a 501(c)(3) organization and all gifts are tax-deductible within IRS regulations. 


Teen Eating Disorders 


    A government study has found that more than half a million teens have had an eating disorder, most commonly in the form of binge eating and bulimia, and that most of the time these go untreated. How can we change this downward trend before it gets more out of control? Kimberly Dennis, M.D., medical director at Timberline Knolls Residential Treatment Center, says it's critical for parents to talk to their kids about eating disorders as early as possible and be open to the possibility their kids may have an unhealthy relationship with food.

    "Parents don't want to believe their child might have a fatal disease, especially when in a lot of cases the teen is still doing well in school and even excelling in sports. And when they suspect a problem, parents a lot of times think it's 'just a phase' and are in denial.  It needs to be addressed," said Dr. Dennis. "And in addition to the critical need for parents to talk to their kids, is the need for all 'first responders' in a teen's life to be aware of this growing problem. School nurses, teachers and coaches need to be educated as well and not afraid to talk to teens about these issues; because early detection and treatment is critical to ensure a full and healthy life for these teens."

    "More programs need to be developed to go into schools to not only speak to the students, but also to the school nurses, teachers and coaches. And parents need to get involved and be educated on the seriousness of these diseases," said Dr. Dennis. She also encourages everyone to listen to their gut and look for changes in behavior, including kids not eating with the family, frequent trips to the bathroom immediately after meals, changes in diet, and consumption of a large, unhealthy amount of food in one sitting.  

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Timberline Knolls is a residential treatment center for females, ages 12 and older, nestled in a wooded area in a southwestern suburb of Chicago.  Meier Clinics provides Christian counseling services for those residents who request it.  For more information about this wonderful facility and program, call 877-257-9611 or visit


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Specialty Programs 

  • Day Program for Adults is available at the following Meier Clinics:  Wheaton, IL; Richardson, TX; Fairfax, VA; Bothell, WA.
  • Sexual Addiction Intensive Outpatient for Adults (Pathway to Freedom) is available at the following Meier Clinics:  Wheaton, IL and Richardson, TX.
  • After-school Intensive Outpatient Program for Teens (Breakaway) at Meier Clinics in Wheaton, IL.
  • Chemical Dependency Intensive Outpatient Program for Adults offered at Linden Oaks Hospital in Naperville, IL.  Meier Clinics staff provide a Christian track.
  • Faith-Based Hospital Program for Adults uses a workbook designed by Meier Clinics staff at Cedar Hills Hospital in Portland, OR.
  • Residential Care for Women and Teens at Timberline Knolls in Lemont, IL, with a Christian track led by Meier Clinics staff.

For additional information about these programs, visit our website at or give us a toll free call at 888-7 CLINIC (888-725-4642). 

You can visit Meier Clinics on

"He was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed."

Isaiah 53:5




The staff at Meier Clinics pray that you have received the gift of salvation through Christ's sacrifice on the cross and that you know and serve a risen savior.  Our best wishes to you and your loved ones for a blessed Easter season.


Thank you for taking time out of your day to read our newsletter.  We hope it has been Meier Clinics Logoencouraging and helpful.  If you would like more information about Meier Clinics and how we might be of service to you, please call us at 888-7CLINIC to be directed to the Meier Clinics nearest you or visit us at

Sandy Newport, Editor