A philosophy about sex that is endorsed every day looks good on the surface. It looks like it's working for a while. The problem is, it isn't.  Over time, there is a breakdown. There are consequences that surpass the passing pleasure that illicit sex affords. The Bible is filled with warnings regarding sex outside marriage. And not only warnings, but the reasons behind the warnings as well. Generally speaking, the only thing people know that God said about sex is, "don't do it." And that's too bad because God is not against sex. After all, He created it. God is for sex. After all, everything He created is good. Seeing how He is the creator, we can safely assume that He knows infinitely more about the subject than anyone else.  As the inventor of this marvelous gift, He knows how it works best, and He knows how we can receive the maximum joy and benefit from sex. He also knows the potential pitfalls.

    But we don't like boundaries. So we test the limits; we climb the fences; we charge past the warning signs; and ultimately, we face the necessary consequences. Our tendency is to ignore Him and make decisions based on our inclinations or what we've heard or experienced. We are prone to adopt the world's philosophy about sex, a philosophy that looks good on paper but in the end collapses. God's very first command to humankind was in regard to sex. It was "Be fruitful and multiply" (Gen. 1:28).  God commanded Adam and Eve to get involved physically. Further evidence of God's positive attitude toward sex is revealed in the Song of Solomon. This book is so descriptive that Hebrew boys were not allowed to read it until they reached a certain age. We need to understand that He is the Creator, and thus, He is for sex. At the same time, He is for us and our well-being.

    Paul wrote, "The body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body" (1 Cor. 6:13). Contrary to what many in our culture believe, God does care about our body. He has purchased the body with the blood of His Son and filled it with the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 6:19-20).  The parameters that God has given us are for our own good, not for our misery. He is not out to deny us anything that is good for us. God made sex for marriage because sex is not just physical; it is relational. The Bible teaches when two people have sex, they become united (1 Cor. 6: 15-16). Your body is the vehicle through which you express what's in the soul and spirit. There is no way to communicate with anyone outside your body. You use your five senses to relate. You walk. You talk. You use your hands to serve. You use your ears to hear others; your eyes to see others. Your body houses your soul. Sex was designed to be the most intimate expression of your soul. You cannot have sex with your body and leave your soul somewhere else.

    God has designed sex to take place inside a relationship called marriage. Sex is an expression of total abandonment of body, soul, spirit, life, and purpose. It's the ultimate way of saying, "I'm 100% yours and for you, and you are 100% mine and for me." Because this is the zenith of intimacy, when sex is taken out of the context of marriage, there is damage to an individual's ability to be intimate. The more a person abuses this expression of intimacy, the greater the damage. Thousands of married people go through the motions of sex but experience no intimacy. Their intimacy factor has been damaged through affairs or pornography or other ways. When Paul said in 1 Corinthians 6:18 that "he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body," he was essentially saying, "You're just hurting yourself."  When someone has sex but has no intention of giving himself wholly to the other person, he creates an emotional barrier between body and soul. He begins to get detached inwardly. The act of sex is artificially removed from the intent of sex, and consequently sex is not as fulfilling as it was intended to be. Sometimes, this barrier is created after a breakup. A person gives herself totally to the other person, and then her partner ends the relationship. That explains why a person feels used after a breakup rather than during a relationship.

    Sex outside of marriage is not the answer. Think about it. Has sex outside of marriage made this a better society? Or has sex outside marriage made this a more dangerous society, a more expensive society, a more pain-filled society? Apparently, sex outside of God's boundaries isn't the answer. The body and soul cannot be separated. There are emotional and relational consequences as well as physical ones, and the One who sees His gift of sex and intimacy in total shambles must grieve. God gave us sex as a gift. He delights in having His children express intimacy. It is a picture of our oneness with Him. The "WHEN" has been the warning that whenever this gift is unwrapped outside of God's boundaries, it is a disaster.  Even when one decides it is only physical, one is deluding herself because body and soul cannot be separated. God's first command has been tampered with, tinkered with, and trampled on.

    Sex can be compared to fire in the fireplace. A fire in the fireplace is lovely. Warm. Comforting. Inviting. Pleasurable. But put that same fire on the sofa or carpet, and it is disastrous. There is nothing inherently wrong with fire, but the location has changed and that has made all the difference.    Sex was designed for one union: marriage. To use it for anything other than what it was designed to do is to abuse it, dull it, ruin it. Sex was originally designed for pure pleasure and oneness. Because we've not used it as the Designer said, we're robbed of intimacy.

    Perhaps you have scars of consequences because of sexual sin. The Lord Jesus has scars because of the consequences of your sins, too. There is hope! But you must face reality that the Designer knows best. Look up and thank Him that He can restore you to the intimacy He created you for. Your body and soul cannot be separated. He wants both to belong to Him. That's the height of intimacy!

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