During a time when I was sitting with my father during the last day of his life, I began to think about the people I have liked the most as I have journeyed through my years on this earth, my father and my mother being two of those people.  There are two characteristics common to all of them.  They have not all been the most entertaining and gregarious, some have been rather quiet, even shy.  They have not all been the most intelligent or the best educated, although some have been very wise.  They have not all been wealthy or famous, but some were.  Every one of the people I have liked the most - relatives, friends, co-workers, just everyday, ordinary people who crossed my path, and even people in the news about whom I have formed perceptions and opinions - lived out two virtues.  They all have had personal integrity and they have all been kind people.  That does not mean that they were, or are, perfect people.  They had bad days too and sometimes, in certain moments, they were not kind.  But on a day-by-day, year-by-year basis, they continually practiced kindness in their relationships.

   At one time, I was engaged as a contract psychologist in Montrose, Colorado.  The director of that facility had posted a sign for the staff that I have never forgotten.  It read, "Be kind, for everyone you meet today is engaged in a battle."   That observation applies to every person we encounter in our daily lives.

   Three months after that day with my father, I experienced my own medical crisis.  During that time, another of "those people," a close friend, gave me the gift of a very poignant and powerful verse of Scripture, Proverbs 19:21, which was then, and continues to be, very important and encouraging to me.  As I read and reread that verse, I noticed the verse which follows, Proverbs 19:22, and was happily struck by these further words from the Lord that are exactly in concert with the thoughts that came to me about the virtues of integrity and kindness:  "What is desirable in a man is kindness, and it is better to be a poor man than a liar."  (NAS)  Eventually, I also discovered Proverbs 3:3 that reinforced the preeminence that God places on these attributes:  "Do not let kindness and truth leave you.  Bind them around your neck.  Write them on the tablet of your heart."  (NAS)

   We are called to remember to live these virtues out by the power and help of yet another Person.  Jesus, quoted in John 14:16-17 and John 14:26, speaking to his disciples and those who would come to accept him as their Savior in the future, said:  "And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever - the Spirit of truth.  The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him.  But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. . .the Counselor, the Holy Spirit. . .will remind you of everything I have said to you."  (NIV)    

Dr. Phil Swihart is a psychologist and the Director of Counseling and Community Relations at Focus on the Family (FOTF).  As of December 10, his position with FOTF will be changing to Clinical Director.  He also maintains a private practice in Colorado Springs.  For more information about FOTF, visit www.focusonthefamily.com.