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"One of the most trusted names in Christian Counseling" 1-888-7CLINIC |
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REFLECTIONS
by Christina Browning, L.C.S.W.
"So, what do you want to be when you grow up?" It's such a fun question, isn't it? It's a question that invokes thought, imagination, and dreaming. Is it possible? Could I accomplish that? The hope of what is unknown!
However, somewhere as we get older, people stop asking us! Why is that? Are people suddenly considered to be grown up as adults? Does that mean we have chosen what we want to be?
It seems to me, that people are always struggling with wanting to be different from who they are! We always want the greener grass on the other side. I tried that once, crossing to greener pastures.... only to get there and be stuck in the same place, wishing I could go back! Wouldn't it be great to be able to be Who you are, in the Place you are right now?
How does one become who they want to be? (If only I had my magic genie lamp to help, right?) Matthew 5:15-16 states, "Do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."
Who has God made you to be? What unique story has God given you to share with others? What strength and wisdom do you have that someone else needs to hear? It doesn't matter how old you are, how limited you are, or who is in your family! I believe God can use you right where you are today. In the family you have today! In the neighborhood, job, or church you are in today! Don't leave this life that God has created around you, but rather look around with a fresh vision of why God has put you in the place you are at. To quote that imminent theologian, Dolly Parton once said, "Find out who you are, and do it on purpose!" I encourage you: Let the light Christ gave you, shine!! Remember, with every step you take today, you create who you are tomorrow!
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 Christina Browning is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. She has diverse work experience in hospitals and hospice. She specializes in EMDR, play therapy, crisis intervention, and humor therapy. Christina is a counselor at Focus on the Family (FOTF) and maintains her private practice in Colorado Springs, CO. For more about FOTF, visit www.focusonthefamily.com.
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LIVING HOPE FOR YOUR MARRIAGE
"Love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage..." This old time song is as true today as ever, and we now have a deeper understanding from both Scripture and science of how love and marriage "dance" together and how to restore the dance when the music stops. When God created Adam and Eve in His Divine Image, He inscribed into their very nature the image of the Trinity: a communion of persons, eternally "dancing" in a relationship of love. Perhaps that's why we love TV shows such as "So You Think You Can Dance?" Here, week after week, we vote for the couples that connect, that make each other shine, that dimly image the glory of what God created man and woman for: a married, flowing embrace of love, modeling the dance of love in the Trinity.
God's loving plan is most revealed by Christ on the Cross, where for the love of us, and to reconcile us to the love of God, Jesus, the "Lord of the Dance," poured out his life in recklessly self-sacrificial love that was so fruitful it gave life to the world and formed the Church. This is the kind of love that God intends for marriage.
Marriage is a gift from God; one gift not lost in the fall of Adam and Eve. As Christians, we have the privilege of knowing God's plan for marriage revealed through the Word of God. When we look to the Scriptures, the purpose of marriage becomes clear: Men and women, having been created by a loving God to share life with Him forever, were given to one another by God in holy matrimony for them to assist and accompany each other through life in fulfillment of God's mission, plan, and purpose. Husbands and wives marry in love to fulfill God's plan of love, to bring children into the world and raise them for Him, and to help and partner with each other to achieve their full identity in Christ.
Modern research in the science of love began with a British psychiatrist by the name of John Bowlby who studied the attachment processes of children admitted to hospitals in the 1940's. At that time, mothers were not allowed to stay with their hospitalized children. These children protested separation just like married people do when they are hurt by their partners and feel their partners aren't there for them and they no longer matter. Hurt partners protest by withdrawing, avoiding more hurt, or demanding attention, but in a manner that drives their partner further away.
This "dance," what researcher Sue Johnson in Hold Me Tight calls "The Protest Polka," sets up an endless loop of blame and withdrawal that leads to much of the conflict we see at Meier Clinics. When people feel hurt in close relationships, the reflex is either to protest by "poking" at the other to get their attention or to avoid more pain. In the dance coaching that we call couples therapy, people learn how to identify and ask for what they need without driving their partner away, thus ending the "Protest Polka" and learning a new dance of effective dependency. This simple principle can often turn around long-standing patterns of conflict.
Much is riding on the ability of married partners to be able to turn to each other. Many people live in a community of only two, relying on their partner to fill all their needs for love and support. It's no wonder so many marriages fail under this pressure and so many come to my office to talk about loneliness and heartache, the root of many of the symptoms we see today.
In the light of biblical revelation and the best of modern science, it makes sense to seek marriage therapy when things go awry rather than to break up. God is faithful to his promises: Our lives and our marriages can be made new. God wants to draw all marriages into the loving dance embrace of the Trinity. God is love and His nature is self-giving and generosity. We need to love and be loved to flourish in a love-created Universe. This principle of love, of renewing self-giving, of forgiveness, is built by God into the structures of nature and grace making all things new. It is the basis of the virtue of hope. Through prayer, forgiveness, and the building of relationship skills, many marriages can be restored.
The message of this article is to encourage hope that in many different kinds of marriages - deadly, desperate, mediocre or spectacular - God's gifts and promises remain true in the face of any and all obstacles. He supplies what He promises and assists in what He asks of us. We at the Meier Clinics offer Biblically-based counseling to teach couples how to do the dance of intimacy with each other again. We equip and accompany couples on their journey to the abundance of life in marriage promised by Our Lord, Jesus, who told us that "with God all things are possible" (Mt 19:26) because the same power that raised Christ from the dead is also at work in those who believe (Eph 1:19-20).
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Barry Levy began working for Meier Clinics in 1990. In addition 
to providing counseling services, he also currently serves as the Director of the Meier Clinics in Rockville, Maryland. Barry is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, a Certified Chemical Dependency Counselor, a certified provider of neurofeedback, a marriage and family therapist, and a Certified EMDR provider.
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MULTIFAMILY GROUP TREATMENT AT TIMBERLINE KNOLLS
by Catherine Weigel Foy, LCSW, LMFT
By the time their loved ones reach the residential level of care, family members often feel emotionally depleted. Having tried several other treatments, they come to Timberline Knolls seeking hope, and "one last option" in their struggle with their loved one's illness. In their quest for the "right" treatment, they often become isolated from friends and extended family, who don't understand the battle being waged. In the Multi-Family Group, families can find comfort in the relationships they build with empathic and knowledgeable professionals, and with fellow group members who have made a similar journey.
Facilitated by professional clinicians, the group is structured to promote sharing, open feedback and a creative search for solutions among participating families. Families learn about the illness for which their loved one is being treated and are provided guidelines for managing the illness. The Multi-Family Group becomes the arena where family members can practice solving problems created by the illness.
A successful outcome for the treatment is that family members have increased knowledge about their loved one's illness, have developed coping skills to manage family life more effectively, and experience improvement in their family's psychological well-being and health.
Meier Clinics is pleased to partner with Timberline Knolls by providing Christian counseling services for those who request it.
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We Need You!
God is the head of Meier Clinics and it is upon His Word that we base our counseling services. We firmly believe in the power of prayer and gather each week to pray for the needs of those we serve as well as our ministry needs. Would you also pray for us each week?
We need your help financially too. If you would like to play a part in healing lives, please prayerfully consider a one time or monthly gift so we can reach out to those who need Christian counseling care. Donations are tax deductible and can be made easily by one of the following:
Mail: Send checks or money orders to Meier Clinics Foundation, 2100 Manchester Road,
Suite 1510, Wheaton, IL 60187-4561
Phone: 800-848-8872
Thank you for prayerfully considering how God would have you respond.
"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
Luke 12:34
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