A number of years ago, a Christian theologian, F. F. Bruce, authored a book entitled The Hard Sayings of Jesus which I found intriguing.  Recently I found another of Jesus' statements which was not addressed in that book, but equally mysterious. It is found in the Gospel of John, Chapter 5.  Jesus, going up to Jerusalem for a feast day, stopped by a pool called Bethesda.  Around that pool were laying a "multitude of those who were sick, blind, lame and withered..."  They were waiting for the occasional visit of an angel who would stir up the water.  "Whoever then first, after the stirring up of the water, stepped in was made well..."  Jesus saw a certain man there who had been "thirty-eight years in his sickness."  Jesus, we are not told why, focused on that particular man and asked him what would seem to be a very strange question: "Do you wish to get well?"  Now Jesus, being God, did not need to ask in order to gain information - he already knew what the answer would be.  And, it would appear, at least superficially, that the answer would be obvious. Would not any invalid want to be healed? But the obvious is  sometimes wrong, obfuscated by the murky depths of motives farther beneath the surface in the human heart.    
     Since this man had already waited 38 years, perhaps he despaired of any future healing and had given up all hope?  He might also, consciously or unconsciously, have preferred to remain an invalid.  After all, if he were cured, he would have to reenter the "real world" with all of its burdens, such as working hard to earn a living rather than depending on the largesse of alms received.  People would have a whole new set of expectations of him.  His entire lifestyle would change.  Remaining "stuck" in his illness could well provide something that has been termed "secondary gain."  Secondary gain is an explanation for an otherwise inexplicable desire to retain the status quo, even when that appears to be very negative.  A person is "stuck" and tries hard to stay "stuck."  
     This can apply to many other circumstances besides physical disabilities.  For example, as a graduate student I worked two days a week as an intern in a "back ward" of a Veterans Administration mental hospital in Indiana.  I was usually there with a couple of nurses and about 70 chronically schizophrenic men, some of whom had lived there for years.  Occasionally, a man would progress to a point at which we would begin to make arrangements for him to be discharged. It was not uncommon that in the day or two prior to the final discharge staffing, that individual would begin to exhibit marked deterioration in his mental status. He might make a suicidal gesture, pick fights with other patients, or perhaps begin loud, delusional conversations with himself and "the voices."  Usually these rather histrionic efforts to sabotage his impending discharge from the hospital were not well disguised but, nevertheless, were effective in delaying his release.  If not, he would simply escalate his behaviors to a point where it was not safe for him or others to transfer him out. Clearly those men did not really "wish to get well" but were firmly "stuck" in their disabilities. 
      This dynamic is also frequently seen in clients in outpatient counseling.  It is at times manifest in individuals who maintain a very negative self-image, very low self-esteem, despite tangible evidence that their self-assessment is quite inaccurate and does not comport well with reality.  They put up a fierce resistance to making any changes in their behavior which would challenge that self-image, preferring to believe a lie.   Why?  It may be too threatening to have it change. It would make it more difficult to live inside convenient excuses for failures, others would demand more of them, or it is simply too anxiety producing to experience an identity change.  "If I'm not who I always thought I was, then who am I?"  This identity limbo is much more uncomfortable than just keeping a well defined and established, albeit very low view, of one's self. 
      Thus, Jesus' hard question: "Do you wish to get well?"  His question can apply to all of us at times.  We would be wise to ask ourselves whether we really want to be healed physically, emotionally, socially, and, especially, spiritually.  It is possible to be an "invalid" in more ways than one. Our motives are mixed more often than not and we can be very adept at self-deception.