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June 2009
"One of the most trusted names in Christian Counseling" 1-888-7CLINIC
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REFLECTIONS
By Joann Condie, RN, LPC
The colorful hummingbirds fluttering around my flower boxes are delightful, fascinating little creatures. They have captured more of my attention lately, ever since I was lying in the local ER, hooked up to a bunch of IV's and EKG wires. As a roomful of medical staff scurried around, the calm Cardiologist declared I had a "hummingbird heart." I was not sure what he meant, but I was conscious enough to know I was designed to have a human heart and not one from a small bird!
A week later, a Google search revealed a hummingbird's heart is the size of a pencil eraser and sustains 250 beats per minute when at rest and soars to 1,200 when feeding! Mine was a mere 240 BPM, but apparently fast enough to require heart surgery. Meanwhile, the happy hummingbird was thriving exactly as God designed him to be.
That whole episode caused me to ponder peaceful thriving versus anxious stressing. People from every culture struggle with apprehension and worry. The word anxious is derived from a Greek verb meaning "to have a distracting care;" the same word is translated into German as wurgen or worry. The Latin word anxius means to strangle or choke; Jesus uses this definition in the parable of the Sower. He explains the seed sown among thorns refers to "those who have heard the Word of God, but the worries of the world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the desires for other things enter in and choke out the Word." The soil in this parable is the heart of anyone who initially hears the truth, but anxiety and worry grow like thorns around the seed of God's Word and chokes the person's sense of peace. Those thorns choke out the godly pleasures of each day and sometimes cause confusion. As a result, secondary cares become primary concerns, and primary things end up secondary. Victor Borge gave a comical illustration of this:
A couple about to go on vacation was standing in line, waiting to check their bags at the airline counter.
The husband said to the wife, "I wish we had brought the piano."
The wife said, "Why? We've got sixteen bags already!"
The husband said, "Yes, I know-- but the tickets are on the piano!"
The story can make us smile, but the anxiety thorns can give us distorted perceptions of life, God, others, and ourselves. The effect can range from negative ruminations and stomach churns to full blown panic. In any case, the body takes a hit. The sympathetic nervous system kicks in, resulting in a multitude of physiological responses, including increased heart rate. God's wisdom and modern research demonstrate this tie between the mind, heart, body, and spirit. Solomon tells us in Proverbs 14:30, "A calm and undisturbed mind and heart are the life and health of the body." He adds, "Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life." (Proverbs 4:23) "Heart guarding" can consist of monitoring the type of music, TV shows, and movies we expose ourselves to and the types of books and magazines we read. It also includes keeping our heart from getting hurt. For example, paying attention to how people treat us and how we treat others will improve our discernment because sinful, hurtful acts damage our hearts whether the sin was done to us or by us.
You may think you cannot weed out the anxiety and worry thorns in your life, however, God has an answer for you in Philippians 4:6-7. "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." What a remarkable plan God has for collaborating with us! He shows us how to be responsible for guarding our hearts and He takes responsibility for giving us His peace, which also guards our hearts. What an awesome God we love and serve.
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 Joann Condie is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Registered Nurse at Focus on the Family (FOTF). She specializes in sexual addiction and dysfunction. In addition to speaking and training professionals nationally, Joann is a counselor at FOTF and maintains her private practice, "Renewing Intimacy," in Colorado Springs, CO. For more about FOTF, visit www.family.org. | |
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As a Person Thinketh. . .
By Lane Ogden, Ph.D.
Have you ever taken a moment to ponder the magnificent complexity of the human brain? It is an organ which, with essentially no direct consideration or care, manages all our functioning. Amazing. Incredible. Reflective of God's greatness. And, unfortunately, capable of sometimes being the originator of thoughts that hurt, rob us of our joy, even stir us toward destruction.
Left to their own devices, our thoughts go where they will-where experiences, genetic predispositions, and even simple human nature tend to push them. Unattended, our thinking can convince us that lies are truth and that truth is a lie; that hope is not real - therein is a potential tragedy.
Because it is normal for our thought lives to run on "automatic," we often end up in pain-generating, repetitive cycles of which we are not even aware. You could conceptualize them as ruts - paths worn smooth by frequent passage and easily fallen into. They are unintentional choices that may lead to problems and paralysis. If our brains operate in status quo mode we inevitably stay within these cycles or ruts, we continue to act, to behave, and, most importantly, to think as we were "programmed," as our "tapes" dictate, as our history predisposes us, or as our nature prescribes. Such is the brain's built in tendency to stay with the familiar.
Yet the popular definition of insanity includes the idea of repetitively doing the same things and wishing for different outcomes. Are we stuck as passive, unaware victims of our biology, history, or sin nature? Of course not, but this process can only be altered if we spend the effort and do the work to make often-times difficult changes in these automatic processes.
It is an obvious but sometimes unrecognized miracle that we are capable of taking over conscious control of our thoughts. Consider the wonder of this a second: we can think about our thinking, we can decide to think differently. We most definitely possess the capacity to direct and even control what we think; we need not be victims of the way we've always been.
Paul knew it and exhorted us to do just that in one of my very favorite "psychological" insights in scripture. He encouraged us to actively do something about our thoughts in Philippians 4:8 which states: "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things." He recommends an active process of monitoring our thoughts, of intentionality rather than acceptance of things not true, right, pure, lovely, or admirable which might otherwise drift in.
Of course, to take this intentional control, we have to first start paying attention to something that previously we'd ignored or of which we'd been unaware. I talk with patients about listening in to the conversations they have with themselves and of purposing to make these healthy, helpful, edifying, rational, even Christlike. Often a good rule of thumb is to make a goal of not saying to one's self anything you wouldn't say to a friend. What happens at the level of these me/myself conversations determines the lion's share of what's going on with me emotionally, where I am psychologically.
What lies are you telling yourself today? What aspects of your life are polluted by thoughts that are inconsistent with, if not directly in defiance of, what Jesus would say to you in that same conversation?
To the extent that you believe untruth, your ability to function optimally in reality will be impaired. That is, if you believe something that isn't true, life has a way of bumping up against it and making trouble. Similarly, to the extent that you fill your thoughts intentionally with truth, you move toward the light. Purpose intentionally today to begin to monitor and correct your thinking with truth. You'll move toward health, toward psychological stability, and toward spiritual growth.
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Lane Ogden, Ph.D., has been a licensed psychologist at the 
Meier Clinics in Richardson, Texas since 1987 and is a member of the National Register of Health Service Providers in Psychology. He enjoys speaking and teaching engagements in addition to his counseling practice. For more information about Dr. Ogden or the Meier Clinics, please visit our website at www.meierclinics.org.
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NEW BOOKS WRITTEN BY MEIER CLINICS STAFF
 The term narcissism is used frequently, but the word is often misused and misunderstood. Dr. Meier, in collaboration with two psychotherapists, has written this book to help you understand the true meaning of narcissism, how to identify it, and what to do about it. Find out if the stress in your relationships with family, friends, or at work is unknowingly caused from others or yourself. This is currently available for order as an e-book through www.youmightbeanarcissistif.com for $14.00. A paperback will also be available June 2009.
Eighty percent of all pregnant women struggle with depression  during or after their child's birth. But there is good news about postpartum mood disorders - they are almost 100% treatable. In this definitive guide to postpartum depression, written from a Christian perspective, Paul Meier, M.D., and Lynne Johnson, R.N., explains why this depression occurs, who is at risk, how to treat it, and where to find God in it all. The Postpartum Survival Guide offers hope-filled solutions that will help new mothers enjoy this special time in their lives. Plus, it also contains helpful resources for fathers, family members, friends, pastors, and professionals. This book is from Tyndale House Publishers.
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Timberline Knolls Raising Awareness of Eating Disorders in Athletes
Timberline Knolls is recognizing well-known tennis star, Monica Seles, for disclosing her history with an eating disorder in her new book Get a Grip. Ms. Seles' display of courage and candor has the potential to help many others who have similar struggles, especially young female athletes.
It is estimated that more than 11 million Americans suffer from an eating disorder and 20 million more suffer from binge-eating disorder. And because of the secretiveness and shame associated with eating disorders, this number is likely much larger. According to Kimberly Dennis, M.D., medical director at Timberline Knolls, the prevalence of eating disorders in female athletes occurs at an even higher rate than the general population.
"There are several features of an eating disorder illness that are particularly exacerbated in females in athletics," said Dr. Dennis. "And because so much attention is placed on success in athletics, the signs of these illnesses are overlooked by many parents, coaches, teachers and even physicians and therapists."
Core features of an eating disorder in athletes:
· Denial of eating disorders in athletes exceeds that of non-athletes with eating disorders, which is often fed by coaches who rely on the exceptional talent and extreme drive for success that many athletes possess to win games, titles, awards, etc. When a female athlete is still winning or competing, it may be easier to disavow an active problem with food or eating.
· Perfectionism and competitiveness are both character traits abundantly present in patients with eating disorders. Because competitive athletes rely on precision and "perfect" execution of planned movements, behaviors, and training rituals in order to succeed and win, those genetic, familial, and/or psychosocial predispositions for eating disorders are even more likely to develop.
· There are also psychosexual implications of being a female that may also contribute to the increased prevalence and risk of eating disorders among female athletes. Because many role models are male athletes, female athletes may feel more pressure to become more muscular and drastically change their body type, which often can lead to disordered eating.
Early Detection - what to look for:
·increased concern about body composition, body fat;
·increased concern about "healthy eating" and rigid behavior around food (eating fat free, not eating certain food groups, eating alone or in isolation);
·social withdrawal, loss of intimacy or closeness with peers and family members;
·rapid weight loss or gain; going to the bathroom after meals;
·unmanageability in other areas of life (school, relationships, substances/intoxication);
·loss of menses or irregularity of menses.
Tips for women on how to avoid eating disorder behaviors while training:
·exercise and train with a partner or in groups with other women (avoid isolation and secrecy around exercise and food);
·replenish fluids and follow a well-balanced food plan (including enough protein, iron, calcium, and fat intake);
·get guidance and help from a sports nutritionist;
·contact your physician if you begin to experience menstrual irregularity or lose menses;
·take 1-2 days off per week;
·avoid looking at "calories burned" displays on cardio equipment;
·seek professional help if you start to experience unmanageability in your eating, exercise, or weight and/or body concerns;
·avoid using diuretics, laxatives, stimulants, steroids for performance or training enhancement;
·women with histories of eating disorder: continue to receive maintenance care from a professional and continue to attend 12-step recovery groups for people in recovery from eating disorders.
Tips for coaches and school administration:
·provide education around prevention and recognition of eating disorders particularly to staff and coaches for female athletes;
·provide education around prevention and recognition of eating disorders to female athletes;
·make appropriate treatment recommendations for athletes who are suspected of having an illness;
·work with treatment team professionals to set clear expectations around necessary recovery parameters to resume or maintain athletic participation;
·foster a culture of safety around the athlete asking for help and expressing concerns about weight;
·allow for and enable a female athlete to express when a training schedule feels like too much or feels too intense;
·be part of the solution, rather than part of the problem (denial, shaming, etc.).
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"I lift up my eyes to the hills;
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth."
Psalm 121: 1-2
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We are so excited to share with you an e-mail we received from a former client (who has asked to remain anonymous). We want to add our thanks also to those of you who have contributed to the Meier Clinics Foundation over the years and made Christian counseling care available to so many.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
I walked through the doors of the Wheaton clinic in May 2005, just barely surviving. I came with both great fear and great hope: fear that nothing and no one would be able to "fix" me, and hope that maybe...just maybe, I would find the healing my heart longed for. A survivor of emotional, spiritual, and sexual abuse, I suffered from intense flashbacks, panic attacks, and nightmares. Many times, I was in so much emotional pain that my whole body shook with it. The stress was physically affecting my body in other ways too. I was a college student and lost thirty pounds that school year. I battled insomnia and when I did go to sleep, the first thing I woke up to was pain.
I heard about the Meier Clinic through the Focus on the Family radio program. One night, I "happened" to listen to a tape FOTF had sent me, in which the Clinic and Day Program were mentioned. I was already going to therapy every week, but my life was falling apart rapidly and I sensed I needed something more. I believe God put the dream and hope inside of me to go to Meier Clinic. He gave me hope that life could be different if I was willing to take further steps to deal with my painful past.
The people at Meier Clinic were literally the most LOVING, HEALING Christian group of people I had ever met. This was especially significant because the people who had hurt me the most (from my past) were professing Christians. But at Meier, never before had I felt so deeply LOVED by people who knew so much about me! The power and impact of that love (God's love) was incredible. To this day, I remember the staff and my fellow patients with great fondness. My therapist Carol was awesome! I loved her sense of humor. She came alongside me as a humble companion in my journey. One time she even cried with me. That was incredibly healing. The patients in my group were such a vital part of my healing as well. They validated my feelings and spoke words of healing truth into my life. They cheered me on as I made decisions that took a lot of courage. Now if I start to doubt God's faithfulness or His hand in my life, it really helps to remember that time.
I never would have been able to go to the Day Program at all if it had not been for the generous scholarship I received from Meier! I was living on a student budget, and still dependent on my dad (who happened to be my abuser) for financial support. I am SO VERY THANKFUL for the new life God has given me, and for the people He used at Meier Clinic in that process!! I am SO thankful to all of the donors who generously give their resources so that hurting people can find healing!
Four years later, I have graduated from college and have served as a director for an afterschool program for teens with disabilities. I have worked in elementary schools with troubled children in special education classrooms, and I have managed a house for international women. I am able to function today, in part, because of the healing God gave me at Meier Clinic. I no longer wake up every morning in intense emotional pain. I no longer suffer from regular panic attacks. After years of therapy, I have decided to become a therapist myself. This past February I was just accepted into the Masters in Counseling Psychology program at Mars Hill Graduate School. I can't wait to learn more and continue to be transformed as God shows me more of Himself! He has been so faithful, and will be with me every step as the journey continues. Thank You, Jesus!
Was it your gift that helped transform this person's life? Will it be your gift that helps the next person?
Mail: Meier Clinics Foundation, 2100 Manchester Road, Suite 1510, Wheaton, IL 60187-4561
Web: http://www.meierclinics.org/DonationsPhone: 800-848-8872
(Meier Clinics Foundation is a non-profit 501(c)(3) organization and all donations are tax deductible within IRS regulations.) |
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