Unfortunately, domestic violence does occur within Christian marriages and the therapist working with the victim has some unique challenges that are typically not addressed in secular domestic violence shelters. The abuser will often misuse the verse in Ephesians 5:22, "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church." An abuser may take this verse out of context to justify his violence as a means to fulfill his role as a husband.  The wife may also believe that this passage means submitting in all ways to her husband including submitting to his violence. We, as therapists, must help the victim put this verse into perspective by exploring how Christ fulfilled his role as head of the church. Christ was the epitome of love and compassion. He loved his church, served his church, humbled himself for his church, and ultimately sacrificed his life for his church.  This is the model for the Christian husband toward his wife, to love and serve her.
     We also help the client put submission into the greater context of Scripture.  For example, when one reads the entire passage in Ephesians 5 to include verses 25, 28-29, one clearly sees that they give explicit direction to husbands on what it means to be the head of the wife,  "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church...in this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.  After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church." Clearly this passage refutes that any violence in marriage is acceptable.
     Another area to address with the victim is her feelings of worthlessness and shame which she has internalized from what is usually years of being both physically and emotionally battered. It is important to remind her of her worth in God's eyes, that she is his "masterpiece," created in His image.  Christ desires for her to have an abundant life, free from fear.
     Many Christian women will stay in an abusive marriage because they believe divorce is a sin.  As Christian therapists, we don't encourage divorce, however, the safety of the victim and her children is the priority if violence is occurring.  If it is too dangerous for her to remain in the home, there are shelters available nationwide which provide temporary safe housing and counseling. The couple may need to live separately for a period of time.  In fact, marriage counseling is not recommended in an abusive relationship as it may actually increase the violence. Individual therapy and/or group therapy for both spouses is recommended.  If the violent partner ceases the abusive behavior, then marriage counseling can be beneficial in reconciling the couple.  If a woman chooses to remain in the home it is essential to have a safety plan in place. Any therapist working with victims of domestic violence should educate themselves on the unique dynamics of an abusive relationship to avoid stereotyping either the victim or the abuser.