News from Meier Clinics

   Ah! A new year. Perhaps you are among the many who are saying, "I'm glad 2008 is over. It's been the worst year ever!" It's time to set a new course, new goals, hoping 2009 is a better year! But how do you set a new course? Everyone knows New Year's resolutions don't work more than a few days, a few weeks at best. A new year is a great time to evaluate where you've been and where you're going. To begin a New Year with the hope that next year will be better is a healthy thing called hope. But hope sometimes turns into despair and hopelessness when circumstances seem never to change, and, if they do change, they change in the direction of getting worse instead of getting better.
    Jesus, while on earth during his 30 years, said, "I've come that you might have life and have it more abundantly." Wonderful words! Yet when we look at our lives, we don't see much abundance, let alone joy, peace, or contentment. We see too much debt, a shrinking 401k, a declining house value, an unreasonable boss or family member, an old car that barely runs (or maybe no car at all). Hardly abundance! So what did Jesus mean? Are those words for you and me or just a handful of lucky people?
    We humans are all in the same boat in life. We are all looking for answers and ways to live meaningful lives. We look everywhere for answers, usually outside ourselves - to people, books, sermons, seminars, more things to make us happy. We make plans, set goals, dream dreams. We look to people and things to make us happy - a new house, a new job, a new spouse, money in the bank. A new year can bring us to a place of despair, wondering what happened that so many plans, hopes, and dreams from last January went south.
    Looking outside ourselves, setting goals, making plans, dreaming dreams has its place in our life - a small place. The richest place of all to look is inside. When we stop chasing after all the external solutions and listen to our heart, our inner voice, we begin to find answers we never imagined. Listening to what is going on inside us isn't a very popular message.  "Be still and know that I am God" just doesn't seem to be in vogue. We say we believe the Spirit of God lives within us to help us live victoriously, yet often we are so busy praying, asking, seeking, we rarely take time to be still and listen. Can you imagine being with your boss, your best friend or your spouse and you do all the talking, all the planning? Living emotionally healthy victorious lives isn't magic - something that just happens outside our choice. Living victoriously is about listening to the Wisdom of the Spirit that lives within. We live in a world where the message is "doing," being busy, searching, looking and never finding - it's all about me! Yet, we are human "beings." "Being" is about the inner life, listening, joining with the Spirit within. There is treasure within. Someone said, "If you want to hide treasure, place it in plain sight and then no one will find it."
    Abundance, freedom, contentment, and peace are all states of being. They come when we can be in the present moment, rather than chasing after something outside ourselves - when we stop and listen. Jesus never owned a house or car! Yet he talked about living life abundantly. Abundant living is not collecting more stuff to manage and take care of and replace. (Americans have become such consumers that storage units are one of the fastest growing businesses.) We can live emotionally healthy lives, walking in peace, joy, and abundance. The freedom Jesus talked about is not freedom from the problems in the world or in our relationships, but freedom in the midst of it all.
    So the question arises, "What in the world am I supposed to do? I have a mess on my hands My present circumstances stink and seem to be getting stinkier! I'm not happy or content. I want to live in peace, and experience abundance, but it most often alludes me -- seems to be somewhere out there for others but not me."
    The first step is learning to be in the present moment and "be still and know." That sounds easy but is not.  You must stop the running and cultivate being still, listening. Find time to walk in nature, sit looking out the window enjoying the beauty of the snow, listen to the birds chirping outside your window on a bitter cold day. Sitting still and listening in the present moment with all the thoughts, feelings, and negative circumstances of our life is never easy. However, you can't change the past and have NO control over the future.  You only have the present moment.  You can't change the past.  You can beat yourself up, wishing it were different but that's always futile.  You have no control over the future - "You make your plans but God will direct your path." What you can do is feel the feelings that are here, right now. Most of the time when you stop long enough to be with your feelings, your mind immediately begins to look at limitations and circumstances, interpreting and judging them, and attempting to apply another solution. Once you allow an interpretation or judgment to attach onto the feeling, you begin to fret, worry, be miserable and hopeless. Any hope of peace, joy or contentment are gone.
    To open your heart to abundance and freedom you must return to feeling your feelings and listening to the Wisdom within.  You must give up trying to figure everything out with your left brain (your thinking brain). That is your controlling part, the intellectual part of yourself that gets into more "doing" rather than "being." When you continually look outside yourself for answers, you give up the personal power and wisdom within. When you are in the "figuring things out" mode, you attach judgments, interpretations and faulty beliefs to your feelings instead of just being with them.
    Accept the reality of the present moment. "It is what it is" - bad boss, bad weather, cranky waitress, a house worth less than you owe, an old rickety car ready to die any minute. Your natural tendency is to avoid or deny the reality of the moment.  You may not like the reality but acknowledging the truth is important. Face it and be with it. This is never easy! Who wants to feel sadness, disappointment, anger? Yet, to be emotionally healthy it is important that you feel your feelings -- the unpleasant and scary ones - without judging or acting on them. You cannot experience positive emotions such as happiness, joy, peace, etc. unless you are also willing to experience negative emotions as well. Feelings are feelings - they are not good or bad - they just are.

Secondly, take responsibility for the circumstance that is making you miserable by acknowledging "I created this" or "I accept this." Believe me, when you say "I created this" or "I accept this," you will have lots of feelings - mostly negative and unpleasant. This important step is difficult and painful. It is a step of responsibility and truth.

    Third, allow yourself to feel the feelings. Be with them. Simply put, you must feel your feelings not run away from them, deny them, or act on them. Don't beat yourself up because of the feelings or the circumstance. "It is what it is." Those words are not words of despair but words of beginning. Your feelings can be a rich source of new understanding.  You are a thinking and feeling being.  Your thinking easily overtakes your feeling by placing an interpretation on it, judging it, or attaching a belief to it. This negates the feeling and you are like a bird trying to fly with only one wing. It doesn't work!  You are not meant to get lost in feelings, never to emerge into the "thinking" world again, but to learn balance.
    2009 is a new beginning. Change is very much in the air. As it seems like everything is changing, it is a wonderful time to make a commitment to yourself, a commitment to cultivate the rich habit of "be still and know..." The prophet Isaiah wrote these hopeful words centuries ago, words for now, for hope, for new beginnings.
     "When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. But forget all that - it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do a brand new thing." Isaiah 43:2, 18