|
REFLECTIONS
By Lon Adams, LMFT
Happy Go Lucky? Those two words, luck and happy, are paired closely in Webster's Dictionary, when you look up the definition of 'happy'. That is, unless you look at the 1828 edition. It gives "blessed" as a synonym, and adds "enjoying the presence of God" as an explanation for 'happy'.
What is happiness? What is true biblical happiness?
Andrew Murray wrote: "Some may ask 'How can I be a happy Christian?' Our Lord's answer is very simple, he says, 'You cannot have My joy without My life. Abide in Me and let My life abide in You, and My joy will be in you.'" (quotation of Murray's paraphrase of John 15:5) Those two words, joy and happiness, also get used interchangeably. Let's see why, as we look at what the Bible says about happiness.
"Happy is the people whose God is Jehovah." (Ps.144:15) Another, "Happy is the man who finds wisdom, and the man who gains understanding." (Pro. 3:13) And, "He who has mercy on the poor, happy is he." (Pro. 14:21). Or, "He who trusts in the Lord, happy is he." (Pro.16:20).
In I Chronicles 29, we find happiness and joy in large doses after King David and his officers make great, sacrificial offerings of gold, silver, iron and other materials for the future temple King Solomon would build. David's men offered so sacrificially that their offerings equaled five tons of gold, silver, bronze, iron and precious stones. And their response to having done that was extreme joy, happiness and praise to God. Verse 9 says: "Then the people rejoiced for they had offered willingly, and with a loyal heart."
Could our personal level of joy and happiness be in proportion to our willingness to act on that principle of joyful giving? Yes. Obedience to that principle may well be the source of true biblical happiness. The Apostle Paul thought so. In II Corinthians 9:8, he said: "God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you always having all sufficiency in all things may abound to every good work." (KJV) Later in that passage he pointed out that our giving stimulates God to provide more liberally, which causes "thanksgiving through us to God." (v.11) It's all about Him and His provision, and our willingness to give sacrificially.
One other passage seems to tell it all. The Psalmist says, "How precious is Your loving kindness, O God! The children of men put their trust under the shadow of Your wings, and are abundantly satisfied with the fullness of Your house. You give them TO DRINK FROM THE RIVER OF YOUR PLEASURES." (Psalms 36:7-8)
Conceive of what that might mean. Have we ever been so trustfully dependent upon God's provision that we were abundantly satisfied with the fullness of His house? Or were permitted to DRINK FROM THE RIVER OF HIS PLEASURES?
God's people seem to be happiest when they are giving to God's projects, causes, and people, out of obedience to His Spirit's leading, and praising Him for the opportunity.
Here's to your happiness . . . i.e. sacrificial giving of your material resources for the Lord's purposes.
__________________
Lon Adams is a licensed Marriage and  Family counselor, practicing since 1978. He has worked for Focus on the Family's counseling office since 1985, currently as a phone counselor. He and his wife of 47 years, Linda, were volunteers with Joni and Friends Disability Outreach Ministry for five years, working with the Wheels for the World group in Colorado Springs. He's been involved in men's mentoring for the past 14 years with his church, and also works with Christian substance abuse recovery. | |
Thanksgiving: One of Jesus'
Favorite Holiday?
By Anthony Barr-Jeffrey, PhD
Sometimes the greatest insights we have about ourselves and the world around us come from taking a slightly offbeat look at things we think we already understand and maybe take for granted. Take for instance, Thanksgiving. Although there is little evidence to support an actual upswing in depression and suicide rates during the holidays, many people dread Thanksgiving. For some, Thanksgiving is an annual time of family tension, sadness over past loss, or severe host/hostess performance anxiety. Whether it comes with warm fuzzies or angry chaos or simple boredom, few other holidays come with the same amount of emotional baggage, for good or bad. In many ways this makes sense because, if you look at the story and history of Thanksgiving, you find one of the most human of all holidays celebrated in this country.
Let's take this a step further and look at the contrasting stories of Thanksgiving. On the one hand, you have the traditional elementary school play version that shows Pilgrims and Indians having a peaceful meal together to celebrate their new relationship and shared harvest. On the other hand, you have another story that starts with a feast but also includes smallpox, British mercenaries, slavery and massacre. When faced with these two versions of the same story which do we like better? Which are we more comfortable with-a fairytale or a horror story?
Again, if we turn to ourselves and ask, which version of ourselves do we like better? Do we push extra hard to be the perfect hostess? Do we come down hard on our children to make sure they are perfectly behaved at all times? Alternately, do we expect everyone to treat us rudely and only see our flaws? Or do we go to the party already seeing ourselves as the "crazy" one, ready to prove them right? Do we see ourselves through the "Either/Or" lens as lovable or unlovable, upright or unfixable?
Many of us have had experiences where we were rejected because we could not live up to an impossible standard and have in turn spent our lives pushing to prove our worth. Others of us have taken those wounds and decided to go in the other direction, using our hurt as fuel to distance ourselves from being hurt again. Ironically, when our God-ordained need for love and acceptance is thwarted and goes unmet, fear causes us to split and embrace our "good" or our "bad" over the other. We become doormats or avoiders and neither works to get our needs met ultimately.
Here's the good news, I honestly think that Jesus would have loved celebrating Thanksgiving. Like the people Jesus hung around, Thanksgiving is a holiday with a checkered past and emotional baggage. Fortunately, Jesus was in the business of redemption and integration. Jesus understood the difference between guilt-feeling bad about an immature or irresponsible behavior, and shame-feeling bad for your inherent nature, who you are. Jesus had perfect love because he allowed people to be responsible for their actions without shaming them. Perfect love casts our fear-the kind of fear that traps us into not accepting our warts. We may be imperfect but we are God's creation and worth accepting in the same way He accepts. This is a challenge that may last a lifetime but it is the most beneficial one we can undertake. When we fight for integration-accepting our humanness AND owning our irresponsible behaviors, we can truly embrace the redemptive, healing process Christ offers.
Now, let's get back to Thanksgiving. Even if we expect Thanksgiving to be perfectly wonderful, maybe we can join those who might be struggling to engage this process of integration and redemption. Here are some ideas to allow more healing and love into Thanksgiving without trying to sanitize it in our power:
~Start celebrating it on Monday to make it a week of thankfulness. Talk to people you are thankful for and let them know explicitly.
~Honor God by expressly acting out your gratefulness for who he made you. Plan on not overeating or at least plan on getting some fitness during the week, especially on Thanksgiving, to actively give thanks for the body God gave you.
~If you are going home to family and you know you will have resistance, make a pact with a trusted friend to stay in contact via phone at times throughout the day-not for gossip or just complaining, but for support. Also, you may need to casually set a time boundary with those relatives in advance and plan on being there for only a short visit and set up a Thanksgiving dinner later with friends with whom you share a mutual commitment to continued health and growth.
This is just a beginning of creative options to help transform Thanksgiving. Meet with trusted friends and/or a therapist to come up with creative options that work for you and your most significant others. Change is rarely easy and we all are in desperate need of love, support, and encouragement in our boundary work, especially when it comes to family. So, stay connected, embrace the good and bad, and do whatever it takes to enjoy some really good food on Thanksgiving.
_____________________________________
Dr. Barr-Jeffrey sees clients at the Meier Clinics in Seattle, Washington. He is a recent graduate of Seattle Pacific University with a doctoral degree in Clinical Psychology. He is married to a lovely wife and has two beautiful daughters. Dr. Barr-Jeffrey knows a lot about integrating success, failure and Thanksgiving--ask him about the time he tried to make Turducken for his large, extended family.
WHAT IS NEUROFEEDBACK?
A trained professional uses neurofeedback, a therapy technique, to help clients who are struggling with a variety of mental health concerns. Electrodes are applied to the scalp to capture brain wave activity. Information is then extracted from a computer to pinpoint different brain wave activities. The neurofeedback specialist is able to determine the specific areas on the scalp that need to be "tuned into" depending on the presenting problem. The specialist then relies on assessment tools to determine the appropriate training protocols to use. Clients are shown their brain wave activity in real time in order to learn how to change the undesired activity and increase the positive activity. After some practice and training, clients can actively take better control of their brain activity to elicit positive results in improving their specific issues.
Neurofeedback can often help people eliminate or reduce the amount of medication they are currently taking for a variety of health needs. It can help many avoid having to start a medication regime. However, close monitoring by a psychiatrist or physician is recommended during the neurofeedback training period.
Neurofeedback is generally not a solution for those suffering with degenerative conditions such as Parkinson's or dementia or with diagnoses such as autism.
NEUROFEEDBACK SERVICES ARE AVAILABLE AT THE FOLLOWING MEIER CLINICS
Rockville, MD · (301) 315-9009
Wheaton, IL · (630) 653-1717 or (800) 848-8872 |
|
|
|
|
|
TK Academy Offers Education for Adolescent Girls in Treatment
With the minimum stay for many residential treatment centers equaling almost an entire semester of school, families are forced to choose between life-saving treatment or falling half a year behind in school - hardly the foundation for beginning a life of recovery.
For the past two years, Timberline Knolls has offered families facing such decisions a solution -TK Academy. An Illinois State Board of Education approved school, TK Academy provides students the opportunity for 6.5 hours per day of educational and therapeutic services, allowing them to receive results-oriented instructional services to continue their education while seeking treatment.
TK Academy's comprehensive program enables students from around the country to earn credit from their home school district while at Timberline Knolls. This expansion of the school's offering is significant for both students and school districts nationwide. The educational programs at the TK Academy ensure that young women who come to Timberline Knolls can maintain their educational goals while healing themselves.
By staffing TK Academy with a dynamic combination of educational and behavioral health faculty, we give our students the right attention and expertise so they can achieve their highest emotional, social, and academic potential. Our faculty includes master's-level teachers who are certified and trained as Learning Behavioral Specialists.
The Academy's certified teachers, certified teachers' aides, and licensed social workers work with students and home school districts to create individualized education plans aligned with Illinois state standards, national standards, grade level promotion, and the exit criteria required for graduation from each student's home school district. This kind of treatment, integrating a structured academic environment, is ideal for families coping with the stress of a student in need.
The families of TK residents are focused on addressing their highest priority - their daughter's therapeutic needs. With TK Academy, Timberline Knolls can address all of their needs while continuing to access academic growth.
____________________________________________
Meier Clinics provides Christian counseling services at Timberline Knolls in Lemont, IL, for those residents and their families who request it. For more information on the TK Academy, please visit http://www.timberlineknolls.com/program-education.asp.
|
|
As we think about our blessings this Thanksgiving season, we thank God for those of you who have made donations to help underwrite the charitable counseling care provided at Meier Clinics. We are so thankful to be used by God in bringing healing to those who are in pain, helping bridge the gap in wounded relationships, and helping many discover God's forgiveness and love.
If you would like to be a part of this ministry, donations may be made to Meier Clinics Foundation
Mail: 2100 Manchester Rd, Ste 1510, Wheaton, IL 60187-4561
"As water reflects a face, so a man's heart reflects the man."
Proverbs 27:19
|
Contact Info
Meier Clinics E-Newsletter Editor
| |
