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REFLECTIONS
By George Stahnke
Butterflies have captured the imaginations of children and adults for generations. They are illusive, graceful, beautiful, and free. Novelist Nathaniel Hawthorne expressed it well, "Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
Life is seldom full of butterflies. In reality, there are times when we face conflict, reproach and the ridicule of others. It is painful and detrimental to our self-esteem. Personal trauma can eat away at our confidence and self-respect leaving us with false impressions of ourselves and others, lasting for decades. The Psalmist experienced this emotional struggle. "But I am a worm and not a man, scorned by men and despised by the people." (Psalm 22:6 NIV) Have you ever been there? In these distressing seasons of life, there is nothing in a caterpillar that says it is going to be a butterfly. I am a worm, I deserve to be a worm, and I will always be a worm! The hope of meaningful change is fading as the light of day is swallowed up by the darkness of night.
How do we break free from this stranglehold? How do we rebuild a healthy self-esteem? At the risk of sounding hyper-spiritual or simplistic, I submit the following for your consideration. Richard Bach wrote, "What the caterpillar calls the end of the world the master calls a butterfly." When all seems lost, we must remind ourselves that our hope is in the Lord and the transforming truth of His Word. The Apostle Paul wrote "And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect." (Romans 12:2) The Greek word for "transformed" is the root for the English word metamorphosis. The battle for establishing or regaining a healthy self-esteem is rooted in our thought process. An unknown author put it this way, "How does one become a butterfly?" she asked. "You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar."
Desire must be rekindled with hope, reinforced by faith, which is grounded in truth. (Romans 10:17) To shed the caterpillar mentality we must refuse to victimize our self worth repeatedly by dwelling on the past. Secondly, we must recognize that those caterpillar seasons of life do not accurately portray the truth of who we are. Our self-esteem must be rooted in the certainty that we are people of worth and value, precious and loved by God. As the butterfly struggles to get free from the restrictions of its cocoon, so we too will emerge with renewed life. This is God's promise! "We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose." Romans 8:28 (AMP) "None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us." Romans 8:37 (The Message)
My prayer is that God grant us all the faith to embrace His desired metamorphosis for our lives enabling us to rise in the beauty, grace, and freedom of healthy renewed self-esteem.
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 George Stahnke has been in ministry for 31 years serving fifteen as a senior pastor. He has taught in Ukraine, Philippines, India, and China. George works in the Counseling department at Focus on the Family and is the founder of Renewal Ministries of Colorado Springs, which includes private counseling. | |
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By David Livingstone Henderson, MD
Dr. Paul Brand, a world renowned hand surgeon who specialized in treating Leprosy patients, tells the story of Tanya, a young girl he treated who was diagnosed with a rare genetic defect known as Congenital Indifference to Pain. Dr. Brand described his first meeting with Tanya when she was only four years old. "She was healthy in every respect but one: she did not feel pain. Nerves in her hands and feet transmitted messages about changes in pressure and temperature - she felt a kind of tingling when she burned herself or bit a finger - but these carried no hint of unpleasantness. Tanya lacked any mental construct of pain. She had no built-in warning system to defend her from further injury. Nothing would improve until she understood the problem and consciously began to protect herself."
Unfortunately, Tanya never did learn to protect herself. At the age of eleven, she was literally falling apart. "She had lost both legs to amputation: she had refused to wear proper shoes and that, coupled with her failure to limp or to shift weight when standing (because she felt no discomfort), had eventually put intolerable pressure on her joints. She had lost most of her fingers. Her elbows were constantly dislocated. She suffered the effects of chronic sepsis from ulcers on her hands and amputation stumps. Her tongue was lacerated and badly scarred from her nervous habit of chewing it. Her father had called her a monster, but Tanya was no monster, only an extreme example - a human metaphor, really - of life without pain."
Can you imagine a life without pain? It sounds appealing at first, doesn't it? If only we could find that magic pill to take away all the suffering we face in this life, maybe we could finally be happy. But before you imagine life without pain, first try to imagine life without LOVE, because more often than not the two go hand in hand. The first book of Corinthians says in chapter thirteen, "Love is patient. " The New King James puts it a different way. "Love suffers long." If we are going to have healthy, meaningful relationships in this life, we must be willing to work through the misunderstandings, the differences of opinion, and the conflicts that will inevitably arise. We must also learn how to be sensitive to our own feelings and the feelings of others as we relate to each other. This will protect us from unnecessary pain and scars.
Unfortunately, all of us at some time in our lives have hurt or been hurt by those we love. The pain is excruciating, almost unbearable. At times like that, we want to run and hide, shut out love altogether, but in doing so, we become just like Tanya, dying slowly from the inside out. Healing can be found if we are willing to "suffer long" and make things right. We must learn the skills necessary to love God, love ourselves, and love others even during the painful times of life.
What have you had to endure for the sake of love? Perhaps you are a counselor or a pastor, pouring out your life into individuals who never seem to appreciate your efforts. Maybe you are a parent spending countless hours training young children alone. It could be that you have stopped loving and caring for yourself because of overwhelming guilt from a broken past. Whatever your situation, be encouraged. You have a promise from the One whose love for us endured more pain than we will ever know or understand. "LOVE NEVER FAILS." Will you claim this promise as your own? Do you believe that God can take any problem or trying circumstance in your life and turn it into good? If so, then turn that circumstance over to Him. You'll be amazed at how short your "long-suffering" really has to last before you find the joy that only Love can bring. (1 Peter 1:6-9)
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Dr. Henderson is a full time psychiatrist at the Meier Clinic in Richardson, Texas, and an adjunct professor of Biblical Counseling at Dallas Theological Seminary. He also serves as an advisor to the board of directors of ROCK International, a non-profit organization seeking to be the lap of Jesus for impoverished children around the globe.
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The Spirit of the Horse
Timberline Knolls Recovery Center Launches Equine Therapy
Timberline Knolls has added equine assisted psychotherapy to its recovery program under the banner of "TK Ranch." At TK Ranch, residents have the opportunity to work with and care for horses as a way to practice skills and address issues necessary for their recovery. As a collaborative effort between a licensed therapist and an equine professional, Timberline Knolls residents work with horses to realize individual treatment goals. Equine therapy addresses a variety of mental health and human development needs including behavioral issues, attention deficit disorder, substance abuse, eating disorders, abuse issues, depression, anxiety, relationship problems and communication needs.
Certified by Equine Assisted Growth and Learning Association, or EAGALA, TK Ranch helps residents develop non-verbal communication skills, assertiveness, confidence, creative thinking, leadership and problem-solving skills, as well as teamwork and relationships.
"Equine therapy is a special and effective therapeutic approach that is having a significant impact on our residents and their recovery," said Kimberly Dennis, M.D., medical director at Timberline Knolls. "The addition of TK Ranch to our experiential treatment program further sets apart Timberline Knolls as one of the most dynamic and effective recovery centers available to young girls and women today. Continuing to find and develop ways to more effectively support our residents is our dedicated mission."
Located just outside Chicago on 43 beautiful acres, Timberline Knolls, one of the country's most innovative residential treatment centers for women, offers a spiritually nurturing environment of recovery for women ages 12 and older who are struggling to overcome eating disorders, substance abuse, and co-occurring disorders. For more information on Timberline Knolls and the services offered, visit www.timberlineknolls.com
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Meier Clinics is pleased to partnership with Timberline Knolls by providing Christian counseling services for those who request it.
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Meier Clinics Foundation is partnering together with others to change lives! Our 501(c)(3), non-profit foundation was established to help those without sufficient financial resources obtain quality, Christian counseling care at one of the Meier Clinics. If your life has been impacted by counseling care or if you have benefitted from these monthly e-newsletters, would you be one of our compassionate partners and help someone else receive the help they need?
Together, we can make a difference in
someone's life today!
phone - 800-848-8872
mail - MCF, 2100 Manchester Rd., Ste. 1510, Wheaton, IL 60187-4561 |
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