November 2007
 
E-News from Meier Clinics
 

"One of the most trusted names in Christian Counseling"               1-888-7 CLINIC 

REFLECTIONS
 

   The "heart" is mentioned more than 900 times in the Scriptures.  I thought I knew what God means by "heart" until I stopped to reflect on a very poignant comment by a colleague recently.  "You don't need to lose heart. Right is right and truth is truth...regardless - so straight ahead."  I wondered to what exactly does God refer when He speaks of the "heart?"  He is almost never referring to the heart as an organ in the body.  It is not simply the mind, or the brain center for cognitive thought, it is not just the source of emotions, it is not exactly equivalent to the "spirit."  I have come to best comprehend "heart" as a complex, almost mysterious, constellation involving our intellect, our feelings and our will, the core of who we are, in some respects our identity, or, as it has been put, it is our "innermost being."  

   The Lord gives us the "bad news" and the "good news" about the human "heart."  The bad news is; "The heart is more deceitful than all else, and is desperately sick" (or wicked) (Jeremiah 17:9)  God tells us that; "No one who has an arrogant heart will I endure." (Psalm 101:5) and that "Everyone who is proud in heart is an abomination to the Lord." (Proverbs 16:5)  The good news is that God is absolutely sovereign.  "Many are the plans in a man's heart but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails."  (Proverbs 19:21)  "The king's heart is like channels of water in the hand of the Lord; He turns it wherever He wishes." (Proverbs 21:1) He can and does change the hearts of people.  We are told in I Samuel 10:9 that God changed Saul's heart in seemingly an instant.  In I Kings 3:12 we find that He gave Solomon a "wise and discerning heart, (for which Solomon had prayed) so that there has been no one like you before you, nor shall one like you arise after you."

   Jesus, identifying Himself as God, encouraged us with these words; "Let not your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in me...I go to prepare a place for you.  I will come again, and receive you to Myself; that where I am, you may be also.  I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father, but through Me."  (John 14: 1-3, 14:6)   

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Phil Swihart
Phil Swihart, Ph.D., is Director of Counseling Services and Community Relations at Focus on the Family in Colorado Springs, CO.  He holds a doctorate in clinical psychology from Purdue University. 
 
 
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Why Meier Clinics Uses Group Therapy

by Marjorie Mills, MSCP, LPC, and JoAnne Crough, MA, LPC

    

     Bringing issues out safely in relationships with others is, in the simplest sense, how we grow.  There is no more efficient way to move forward in personal growth than within a well functioning group.  We have all experienced the dynamics and power of a group - we've all grown up in a family!  Some families are healthier than others, but they are all dysfunctional to some extent by virtue of existing on this planet. 
     A professionally led group is one way to work out in the here and now some of the ways our fallen world has left its mark on us. The leader or facilitator of the group has a key role in maintaining the health of the group itself. This person is charged with upholding acceptance for all members, keeping the group on task, easing the group into exploring thoughts and emotions more deeply that impact daily life, ensuring agreed upon goals are met, and encouraging discussion from all members.  It's the leader's job to make sure that the group supports healthy relationships.  In other words, the leader models and assists in communicating both truth and grace throughout the meeting. It is each individual's responsibility to speak up and share.

     The group is a body of people who mature in specific ways together where, ultimately, the goal is for the facilitator's role to become less directive while the group itself becomes the agent of growth.   Many times we learn in a group that we are not the only one who thinks a certain way, had a particular experience, or struggles with an issue.  Often we learn through the eyes of others how much we are loved in spite of those thoughts, experiences and struggles, and we find the encouragement we never even realized we needed.  Other times we may find how much the wounds we carry around can inadvertently hurt those whom our lives touch.  This can be painful but freeing all at the same time. 

     One way to think of what happens in a group is to look at it as a microcosm of your life outside the group but recreated in an accepting and more stable environment.  If strong feelings or fears are being triggered within the group setting and you are moved to express this, know that you are ultimately impacting your day-to-day life by opening it up for God's healing light to shine on it.  For example, consider your typical style in group settings.  Do you talk a lot?  Do you sit back and let others run with their thoughts?  A well facilitated group is the ideal setting to take the risk to relate in ways you may not be as familiar with, but which would tap into parts of yourself that you may normally hold out of relationship with others.  Getting out of our comfort zones means bringing more of ourselves into relationships with others and God as well. 

     It's as simple as it is profound:  when we work through some crucial, poignant and potentially life changing issues in our communal walk with God, we not only grow closer to others, but to Him as well.  A group can be one of the most efficient and effective tools we have to promote healthy development, relationships, and spirituality.
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Marjorie Mills is a therapist and JoAnne Crough is a therapist and the Director of Operations at the Meier Clinic in Pittsburgh, PA.  To find out more about these two ladies, log on to www.meierclinics.org and visit
Our Services, Therapists.
HOW TO RECOGNIZE & DEAL WITH STRESS
 
By Char Sandberg, L.C.P.C.
 
    There are two kinds of stress.  1.  Creative Stress which spurs you on to accomplish many things, motivates and inspires you.  2.  Destructive Stress is the kind of stress that keeps us awake at night, tossing and turning; that keeps us worrying, fretting, wringing our hands in frustration and fear.  Destructive stress has damaging affects on every part of our being.  Many studies indicate that perhaps as much as 90% of illnesses are exacerbated or perhaps some even caused by destructive stress.  In high stress times, the body has an amazing ability to produce certain chemicals to cope (the fight/flight syndrome), chemicals which benefit the body short term but when the stress continues day-after-day, week-after-week, the body is put into a state affecting many of its functions such as sleep, weight, concentration, memory, mood and motivation.
     Typically, in highly stressful situations, we seek ways to change the external circumstances.  Often, however, we have little or no control over these external circumstances such as a cranky and unreasonable boss, layoffs, a sick family member, illness, deteriorating marriage, extra expectations during holiday seasons, etc.
     Stress can, however, be reduced EVEN in the midst of extremely difficult circumstances.  In fact, for personal health and well being, for psychological and spiritual stability, it is imperative we learn to manage stress.  Learning to relax while living in the daily barrage of pressure is not an easy thing to do.  However, realizing we can't control or change the external circumstances, the question arises "What can I do?"
     Warning signs of destructive stress include:
  • exaggerated and prolonged anxiety
  • excessive moodiness
  • withdrawal from responsibility
  • faultfinding, picking fights, poor emotional control
  • feeling helpless and dependent
  • chronic fatigue
  • change in weight, appetite, sex drive
  • susceptibility to illness (repeated colds, flu, etc.)
  • poor concentration "I can't keep my mind on my work"
  • felt sense in body "I feel all tied up in knots"

     It is important to remember. . .You do not have control over external circumstances.  You do have control over your self, your body, and your choices. 

     Our bodies are "fearfully and wonderfully made" says the Psalmist.  This "vessel" carries us, the true essence of our self, our spiritual self, through life, giving us signals through our five senses, through pain, discomfort, smell, touch, and sight.  When we lose touch with the felt sense of our body and its signals, we lose touch with a very important God-given measurement tool of our daily world.  Our body tells us when we're thirsty, hungry, tired, hurting, scared, etc.  We get good at ignoring these signals--like flashing red lights telling us to stop, look, and listen.  When we do stop, look, and listen, we find the ability to cope more effectively with whatever the circumstances -- sometimes impossible ones!
    "How do I do that?" you ask.  Learning relaxation strategies to aid you in reducing destructive stress is an extremely important coping skill to possess.  Following are three very basic skills to begin with:
     #1   Conscious Deep Breathing:  Deep breathing increases oxygen supply to the body, pushing away some of the stress.  Taking a minimum of 20 slow breaths can be done any time, any place, and will bring down the level of stress.  Inhale through your nose, exhale through your mouth for ten seconds.  Try it right now and feel the relaxation it brings.
     #2  Take a "Mini-Vacation" through Visualization:  The mind doesn't know much difference between what is actually happening and what you visualize is happening.  We see with the brain not the eye.  Using the "minds eye" is a strategy great athletes such as Tiger Woods, Michael Jordan, and others use to envision a desired outcome.  Close your eyes, breathe deeply, say the word "relax" or "let go" several times to yourself.  Imagine yourself lying on warm sand, the sun warming your body; or walking in the woods, hearing the rustling of leaves under your feet.  For a few minutes, allow yourself to "be there" in that relaxing place.
     #3  Progressive Relaxation:  This is a 30 minute exercise.  Stress is carried in every muscle of our body.  Especially during high stress times, taking 30 minutes two or three times a week to lie flat on the floor, wearing comfortable clothing, lights dim, focusing from head to toe on tensing and relaxing each muscle group for ten seconds brings dramatic results such as increased energy and motivation.  This strategy increases oxygen to every part of the body and a message to relax, to let go, from head to toe.
     There are other various methods to relax such as biofeedback in addition to the three most basic ones I've given you.  Learning to relax is a self care exercise and one that brings amazing benefits to mind, body, and spirit.  Relaxation through deep breathing and visualizing before a test can significantly affect the outcome.  Relaxation before and during a stress filled social situation can significantly affect your time and enjoyment.
     Progressive relaxation for 30 minutes has been used most effectively to help with insomnia, headaches, smoking, hypertension, fibromyalgia, PMS, IBS, asthma, and more.  In fact, I believe most illnesses or circumstances can be managed better when you learn to relax.  Accepting that you can't change your circumstances but you can breathe -- breathe deeply and allow your body and mind to relax, let go and receive God's peace even in the center of the storm--it is a gift you give yourself and an in-built mechanism placed by unique design by our Designer into our bodies.  It is amazing what a 10-minute walk in fresh air can do for you--body, mind and spirit.  It is usually the simple things of life that we so easily miss.  Relaxing will not change your circumstance but it may change you!
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Sandberg Char Sandberg, L.C.P.C., is a licensed counselor at the Meier Clinic  in Wheaton, Illinois.  In addition to working with clients in the outpatient clinic, she has worked for many years leading relaxation therapy groups in the Day Program using a 30-minute progressive relaxation method.  Following many requests, Char has made a recording for use at home available on tape or CD at the Wheaton Meier Clinic.

CHATTING WITH. . .PAUL MEIER, M.D.

I hope you will enjoy this new monthly column where we will be "chatting" with various Meier Clinics staff to provide you, our readers, with a closer look at the people that make the Clinics "one of the most trusted names in Christian counseling."  I thought it most appropriate to have the first chat with Dr. Paul Meier, Co-Founder of the Meier Clinics.                                        Sandy Newport, Editor
 
corrinEditor:  Why did you start Meier Clinics?
Dr. Paul Meier:  Nancy Brown (his sister and President of Meier Clinics) and I started the Meier Clinics and maintain them to have a positive influence on the world and to set prisoners free from various genetic, psychological, and/or spiritual 
                        prisons.
 
E:  What are your current responsibilities at Meier Clinics?
PM:  My ministry is partially treating Day Program clients daily (at the Richardson, Texas, clinic), outpatient clients part time, writing two or three books a year, and doing various ministry opportunities as they arise on TV, radio, coaching seminars, etc.
 
E:  How do you integrate your faith in your counseling practice?
PM:  Solomon says "a brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city," so I certainly don't hit anybody over the head with a Bible or have routine prayers before sessions or anything that would scare people away from God.  But I constantly pray that God will help me love each client like Jesus would, and have the wisdom to help each client as well.  I pray when led and share scripture passages when led to do so, which is actually quite often.
 
E:  What is your favorite Scripture verse?
PM:  Proverbs 3:5-6  "Trust not in your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths."
 
E:  What do you see as one of the biggest problems or misconceptions that clients come in with?
PM:  Very few people realize the extent of their own unconscious dynamics.  The Prophet Jeremiah even said (Jer. 17:9) that our human hearts are more self deceiving than anything God ever created, and who can possibly comprehend the extent of it?
 
E:  What do you enjoy the most about your work at Meier Clinics?
PM:  I enjoy seeing lives changed for the better, one individual at a time.
 
E:  When did you come to know Christ as personal savior?
PM:  I trusted Christ at age six in Sunday School class, and dedicated my life completely to Him at age sixteen.
 
E:  Who had the most influence on you growing up?
PM:  Growing up, my mom taught me Psalm 1 and many other scriptures that molded my life.
 
E:  Who is someone you admire?
PM:  I admire the two prayer partners I have had during my life.  The first was David Larson, M.D., a fellow psychiatrist I met in residency at Duke University in 1974.  He and I phoned, emailed or visited each other at least weekly for 28 years, until he died in 2002 of a heart attack.  We confessed sins to each other, encouraged one another, and prayed for each other daily for all those years.  After his death, another close personal friend, Dr. Jean-Luc Bertrand, from Paris, France, became my prayer partner.  We have done the same things daily, often emailing each other several times daily, since 2002.  Solomon said that as iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens the countenance of a friend, and having a prayer partner through the past 33 years has been one of the wisest moves I have ever made, even though confessing every single sin to someone is not always an easy thing to do.   I admire my two prayer partners and my sister, Nancy, who runs the Meier Clinics from Wheaton, Illinois, more than anyone else.  Nancy is also a prayer partner.
 
E:  Is there an interesting fact about you that few people know that you would want to share?
PM:  A fact about me that few people know???  I can't think of any, actually, because I pretty much tell everybody, even on live radio, everything I think or do, even the sins I am confessing to my prayer partner.  My greatest fault is being too vulnerable to too many people.
 
E:  What kind of activities do you enjoy when you're not working?
PM:  Outside of work?  Rodeos, playing cards, walking with my wife and Yorkies, movies, going out to eat, and playing Tiger Woods computer golf.
 
E:  Is there a book, other than the Bible, that you would like to recommend to our readers?
PM:  Yes, Blue Genes.  It covers a ton of material that is vital to living a happy and productive life, and has so much information that hardly anybody knows.
 
E:  Anything else you would like to share with our readers?
PM:  Final advice?  Yes, of course, The Great Commandment.  Love yourself enough to fill your own love tank, so you can share that love with others.  And build an intimate friendship with the real God, not just the "Heavenly version of your earthly father."  Think God outside the box.  Chat with Him throughout every day, like you would a best friend accompanying you.
 
BLUE GENES
 
Following is an excerpt from Blue Genes, by Paul Meier, M.D., Todd Clements, M.D., Jean-Luc Bertrand, D.M.D., and David Mandt Sr., M.A.  
    
What People Do Not Need
     When people are clinically depressed, they feel flu-like symptoms for months or even years and often for an entire lifetime.  How disgusting it must be when these genetic victims, in great pain, hear their loved ones telling them to "snap out of it" or "pull yourself up by your bootstraps and be happy."
     Pastor Frank Howard, for example, is a very successful Dallas pastor who came for help because he had been trying to overcome his lifelong depression.  He has a great family, a great church that loves him dearly, and literally no logical reason to be depressed.  So over the years, Pastor Howard had many church members give him simplistic advice or "biblical Band-Aids" to give him a quick fix for his depression, which he admitted openly in his sermons and conversations.
     A one-hour initial evaluation revealed that Pastor Howard had multiple relatives on both sides of his family who had depression, schizophrenia, alcoholism, and other problems.  It appeared his depression was genetic, and within a few weeks on an SSRI, he did fine and "lived happily ever after"--except for the normal ups and downs and trials and tribulations of life in this world.  He has been on antidepressants for seven years now, and the joy he experiences in life is spread to family members and those in his life and church.
     The worst possible thing a depressed person could hear is, "Well, if you only trust Jesus more, He would heal you of your depression and you wouldn't need any of those doctors or those medications."  Is that what you would tell your mate or your child if that person was an insulin-dependant diabetic?  Or if their car ran out of power steering fluid because of a leak?  Would you lay a false guilt trip on them too?
     Blue gene victims don't need biblical Band-Aids either.  These include Bible verses often misinterpreted and taken out of context, such as Romans 8:28 quoted as, "All things work together for good to those who love God."  This could imply the person is depressed because he or she doesn't love God enough.  The person already feels like dying before experiencing the extra pain of false guilt for not loving God enough, when in reality it may be that he or she just inherited a low serotonin level only medications can correct.
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Blue Genes is a Focus on the Family Resource published by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., and is available at bookstores and online if you are interested in reading the book in its entirety.
 
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THANKSGIVING______
 
      Are you looking forward to Thanksgiving as I am?  What is it you're looking forward to?  Is it gathering around a table ladened with turkey and all the trimmings?  Maybe you're looking forward to watching football on TV or playing a game of tag with friends.  Perhaps you have a Thanksgiving tradition of working in a soup kitchen.
     My family has a tradition of saying at least one thing we are thankful for that year before we dig into our feast.  My brother-in-law always says he's thankful he made that first phone call to my sister to ask her out.  We all moan because we've heard it for the last six years and are waiting for him to say something new.  But, then I guess there are some things you never tire of being thankful for.
     At Meier Clinics, we never tire of giving thanks to individuals and organizations who have made donations so that we can continue to provide charitable care to those less fortunate.  And, we never tire of hearing clients say "thank you" to us for helping them on the road to renewed joy and wholeness.
     During this Thanksgiving season, we hope you will join with us (or another worthy organization) in reaching out to others with true thanks-giving.  Will you give of your talents, time, or financial resources to show thanks to God for all you've been given by giving to those less fortunate?  Let's make this a true Thanksgiving; a special season of giving thanks by giving of ourselves.            
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To give a tax deductible contribution to help those with financial needs receive Christian counseling care, send your donation to Meier Clinics Foundation, 2100 Manchester Road, Suite 1510, Wheaton, IL 60187-4561, or via the web at www.meierclinics.org, or by phone to 1-800-848-8872.  Thank you for being a Thanks-giver as God speaks to your heart.
 
"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever."
Psalm 107:1
 
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