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REFLECTIONS
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where someone has challenged you? I vividly remember one such occasion. I had just finished my Sunday morning sermon. I was feeling quite confident that I had made an inspiring delivery. A few moments passed when one of the men of our congregation approached me, "Pastor you misquoted one of your scripture references." I was caught off guard by his comment and could feel my emotions rapidly rising. He opened his Bible and showed me where I had made my mistake. He was right! It was one of those moments when God graciously tempered my response. Instead of responding defensively, I was able to acknowledge my error with grace. The Lord used this dear brother to emphasize to me once again an important Biblical truth, examine everything.
Because of the fallibility of mankind we are instructed to test all things against the inerrancy of the Scriptures. Here are two such references written by the Apostle Paul. "And the people of Berea were more open-minded than those in Thessalonica, and they listened eagerly to Paul's message. They searched the Scriptures day after day to check up on Paul and Silas, to see if they were really teaching the truth."[1] Again Paul writes, "But examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good."[2] Not only were Paul and his teachings under the magnifying glass, he praised those who put him there and encouraged all Christians to have that same Berean mindset.
There is no speaker, author, minister or, for that matter, any Christian that can afford to completely reject the honest scrutiny of others. As with most criticism, there is usually some element of truth. Whatever percentage is accurate, no matter how small, own it. You will prove yourself wise if you humbly make the needed adjustments and then thank those who have brought their concerns to your attention.
[1] Acts 17:11 (New Living Translation)
[2] 1 Thessalonians 5:21 (NASB)
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 George Stahnke works in the Pastoral Care and Counseling Departments at Focus on the Family and has a private counseling practice. He has been in ministry for 28 years, serving fifteen as a senior pastor. He has taught in Ukraine, Philippines, India, and China. |
Have you or someone you know benefited from care at Meier Clinics? Every year, we provide around one million dollars in discounted, charitable counseling care to those who otherwise could not afford it. We are able to do this because of the donations we receive from individuals and organizations partnering with us. If you have been one of the recipients of this charitable counseling care, we would love to share your story with those who have so generously given in the past and will be giving in the future. Please e-mail us at info@meierclinics.com. If any of our readers would like to join with other Compassionate Partners in helping to provide counseling care through a donation, you may do so on our website www.meierclinics.org, by calling toll-free at 800-848-8872, or by sending a check or money order to Meier Clinics Foundation, 2100 Manchester Road, Suite 1510, Wheaton, IL 60187-4561. | |
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TYPES OF THERAPY FOR CHILDREN AND OTHERS
By Jennifer Lang, LPC
Children are trusting by nature. As children trust adults and adults prove to be trustworthy, a child's capacity to trust God grows. As adults provide structure, nurturing, engagement, and challenge in a child's life, a child can have the capacity to grow up secure and well adjusted. As a result of living in a fallen world, however, children may be exposed to hurt, pain, abuse, and traumatic events. This may include sexual abuse, physical abuse, divorce, death of a loved one or a pet, moving or changing schools, peer difficulties/bullying, illness, and other significant events. Children are resilient and can receive significant healing through therapy and therapeutic interventions. Children need a safe place to openly express and process trauma, significant events, and changes in their lives. Trauma is recognized as sensory based and, thus, treatment should include sensory-based therapy.
The following is a brief summary of several types of therapeutic interventions, which work well with children as well as adolescents and adults. Children seem to particularly respond to these types of therapy since they are sensory based and are children's natural medium of communication.
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Art therapy Art therapy is creating art to help us understand who we are, to express feelings and ideas that we cannot verbalize, and to enhance life through self-expression. Art mediums may include drawing, painting, sculpture/clay, collages, masks, etc. Drawings may also be diagnostic in nature, although they are considered to be only one of the tools used in evaluating a child for diagnosis and treatment.
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Play therapy The therapist is able to establish a good relationship with children in an environment that they see as safe, relaxed, and natural. Children are able to "play out" their experiences and feelings using this natural avenue of communication. Play therapy may include toys, games, dolls/dollhouses, puppets, etc.
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Sandtray therapy Similar to play therapy, sandtray therapy provides a free, protected, and contained space in which children can fully express and explore self through symbolic play utilizing sand and specific miniatures. The child is asked to create a scene in the sand and then is asked to tell the story or describe the miniatures chosen. The child may even be asked to create a directive scene such as create a before and after scene regarding a significant event.
Children are incredible blessings who need the people in their lives to encourage them and celebrate who they are, uniquely created in God's image. Jesus asked for the children to be brought to Him. He celebrates them and wants them to know His love and healing. Therapy is an excellent way to help children learn how to express, process, heal, and grow as they learn to cope with life.
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Jennifer Lang is a Licensed Professional Counselor working at the Meier Clinics in St. Louis, MO. She has a M.A. from Covenant Theological Seminary and a B.A. in Sociology and Art from Wheaton College. Jennifer has extensive experience working with children and adolescents. She enjoys using the creative arts in the therapeutic process, including art, play, music and sand tray therapy. |
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Marriage Restoration
by Darlene Trumbo, M.A., L.P.C.
Why do so many couples give up on marriage and either divorce or just co-exist in misery? There are many factors that may contribute to this crisis state of marriage. Underlying it all is the failure to build marriage on the right foundation of Biblical principles that God intended.
First of all, many people go into marriage with fantasy thinking that they will live "happily ever after." There may be self-centeredness, each looking for what he/she will get out of the marriage instead of what each can offer to the other. Each person carries past baggage into the marriage such as unresolved personal issues, fear, pride, insecurities, or set ideas of how things should be.
Few couples come into marriage with good communication and conflict resolution skills or understanding the differences between men and women (e.g., the way they think, express emotions, or relate to others) and their God-given roles and responsibilities. They come with unspoken expectations that lead to frustration and resentment when those needs continue to go unmet. Over time, these spouses tend to focus on each other's faults and let those overshadow all of the good qualities they once saw in each other. Sadly, couples often end up seeing each other as "the enemy" and resort to attacking each other, leaving both bloody and wounded, instead of attacking their problems together as allies. Or they may just withdraw, hiding behind their own defenses and building walls between them that prevent them from experiencing the genuine intimacy God intended for them. Openness, honesty, sacrificial love, and mutual respect are vital ingredients for true emotional, spiritual, and physical intimacy within marriage.
It is best to start marriage on the right foundation with good premarital counseling based on God's Word and a commitment to keep God at the center of marriage. Yet even if the marriage started out wrong and has been in crisis for years, there is still hope. God, who is the designer of marriage, is also the God of restoration. In order for marriage to be at its best, God and His will must take precedence over the individual wills of the husband and wife. The closer a couple approaches God's vision for marriage, the better their relationship will be and the more satisfied each will feel.
Marriage takes effort and there must be a commitment to work together for the good of each other and the relationship, putting God first then each other. Ultimately a couple's goals as Christians should be to help each other on their personal journeys toward Christlikeness while relying on God's power to help them along the way. Only as they strive to do this can they experience true peace, joy, and contentment and effectively model for their children and others what God would have them to do.
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Darlene Trumbo is a Licensed Professional Counselor at the Meier Clinics in St. Louis, Missouri. |
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"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."
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