Sex or affection?
Which do you want more? As a man or a woman, have you ever felt like you
were really 180 degrees different than your opposite sex partner? Even I
sometimes think so! And, I know the real truth. We are incredible complements to each other and without our
diverse differences, we couldn't create the magical love and ecstasy we
do.
This idea of sex vs. affection popped up in my conversation
with Tamara earlier today as we prepared our section on Sexual Needs and Differences
for the Conscious Sexuality workshop next weekend. It struck such a cord, I heard the topic calling me to write
about it in this week's article. These numerous differences, although essential for our chemistry and
survival, can create the most frustration and conflict in a relationship
(except for maybe money issues, but we'll save that topic for another
day!) Or, they stop creating
frustration because we just give up on sex and physical intimacy and settle for
friendship.
What if we could
really understand our true differences, see their value, learn how to embrace
them, and even benefit from them? Although, Tamara and I had many differences on our list, let's really
explore this...
Men want sex and Women want
affection.
As a matter of fact, Willard Harley Jr
in his book, His Needs, Her Needs: Building an
Affair-Proof Marriage, lists
sex as the number one need for men and affection as the number one need for
women.
Last weekend, I spontaneously
explored this topic with the participants in the Conscious
Relating workshop. I pointedly
asked the women,
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