Article: We Always Get What We Want
 I had to think twice about whether I should really write this newsletter as it's quite personal and yet I'm going to share it anyway in hopes that it will inspire you to go deeper in your own Journey...
I've heard it for years and yet it's been showing up repeatedly in my conversations over the past couple of weeks... "We always get what we want." Wayne Dyer talks about it in his book, the Power of Intention and we spent a lot of time discussing it last weekend in a workshop called AuthenTalk with Greg Mooers. What I now clearly recognize is that my life is an absolute reflection of what I want. I just didn't realize some of the things I wanted. Greg clearly reminded us this weekend, "The problem is... we often don't know what we truly want."
I realized that I was completely unconscious of a "self-sabotaging" want that had been deeply buried inside for decades... Let me share, if you will.
As I sat in meditation on Monday, integrating all my experiences from the weekend workshop, I had a huge realization. At the deepest levels, I wanted to be alone. I realized that I was absolutely committed to being alone... much more than I was committed to being in relationship. My mind thought alone was MUCH safer. I've had wonderful relationships and yet there were always subtle challenges and now I know why! I remember a man I was dating saying to me to once..."Stop being alone in our relationship." At the time I only understood a fraction of what he meant. Wow.
At this workshop, we uncovered what Greg calls our Heart Virtues. When I uncovered mine, I recognized that, in my heart, I am committed to Passion, Unity and Bliss. (FYI, there's a free workshop in January in Denver where you can uncover your Heart Virtues... contact me for details!) Knowing my Heart Virtues felt great and yet sometimes when I felt into the word "unity" it brought up pain - sometimes it felt beautiful and other times I felt angry and sad. I wasn't sure why.
It all became clear Monday morning. I'll share actual excerpts from my journal entry with you...
"I used aloneness and being the lone wolf in my career to play small, to keep myself safe... and there are few emotions I wanted to avoid more than feeling alone. I have HATED feeling alone and yet it was my comfort zone. I had no idea. .... Then to compensate, I craved the one thing I thought could fill the empty hole of aloneness I had created for myself: Relationship."
I found myself almost addicted to aloneness and relationship simultaneously. No wonder life seemed complicated sometimes... even when it was wonderful!
I continued in my journal... "Relationship no longer needs to fill the empty hole of aloneness ~ it can now complement and even empower that which I am already doing and being in the world - my reason for being. My relationship can now enhance my life rather than rescue me from it."
I was getting what I most deeply wanted... aloneness - which my mind thought was safe. Then I tried to use something outside myself to rescue me! I am so free now... and empowered! I get to healthily live what my heart truly wants - unity... connection...
Thank you Greg Mooers & the whole Bridge2Bliss team!
Having read my story... at the deepest levels, why are you in relationship or why do you want to be in relationship? What might relationship rescue you from? What would relationship give you that you don't believe you already have?
If you're not in relationship and don't really want to be in one... what might relationship take away from you? What might you lose? What would you have to risk feeling if you were in relationship?
If there were something holding you back or something you were subconsciously committed to and unaware of, what might that be?
If you are ready to discover what is unconsciously blocking you, call me! I'm passionate about helping you find your love, joy, peace and passion!
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