Breaking Down Barriers
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April 2011
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Behavior patterns, like today's, get in our way often enough that we think we ARE the pattern vs. just falling into it. 
For the next few months, you will continue to read about the most common attitude patterns that create major barriers to personal and professional success. There is at least one pattern that bars each of us from accomplishing what we want.You may be able to relate to the focus of the month or think you know others who are crippled by them.  Take heart. These patterns are only patterns, not you. If you can relate to them, you can break them down.


Breaking down these barriers will give you
a renewed sense of confidence, capability and enhance your communication.
Although regular focus through guided coaching is the best way to break down these patterns while building the communication and confidence to succeed, below you'll see tips to give you some reflection.

Never feeling good enough
This is a pattern that we may not expect of the people we know. They may be full of experience, highly intelligent, and may even succeed at everything they do. However, they may be unable to speak with authority and unable to command the respect needed to excel.
Or maybe this is something we can relate to. Although some may never know it, we may fall into this pattern. Not that it's up to others to keep us from this pattern. If it's one we often experience, they may not want to help us. We may seem arrogant, unapproachable or highly experienced. But we know better.
The good news is, this is just a pattern.
Understanding the pattern, how to break it and how to call upon our strengths gives those of us falling into this pattern a new sense of hope, a plan to act on and confidence in self.
If this is you or you know of folks exhibiting this pattern, read on. If you want to see which other patterns I've focused on lately, click on the newsletter archive button, below.

  Origin of the Never Feeling Good Enough Pattern
James Waldroop and Timothy Butler have coined the term "career acrophobia", especially for those in this pattern. The fear of heights is the basis of the term.
Individuals suffering from Never Feeling Good Enough will determine they have reached a height they can not manage, and then live out this prophecy.
They may believe they are in a position they don't deserve, talking themselves into actions that make them feel like failures.
This pattern can result from a number of causes, usually starting early in life.
It could be cultural ("don't get too big for your britches")leaving huge impressions on us. We then question other messages like  "discover your true talents" feeling that acting this way is too selfish.
It could stem from religious beliefs that warn against pride as a deadly sin. 
It could develop out of more personal circumstances, especially experienced  between child and adult/parent/mentor, critical of or aloof around a child's talents.
It may even stem from the Oedipal conflict of desire to rise above that of a parent's accomplishments.

Impact of the Ne'er Feel Good'er on the organization
It is obvious there will be a huge impact to an organization when someone of talent falls into this pattern, although subtly observed.
In this case, some of the best and the brightest stay in powerless, lower level positions. What the organization could accomplish with them in higher, influential places never gets realized.

  Impact of the Ne'ver Do Good'er on Themselves
Whether they stay in a rut and develop negativity, they start looking elsewhere or they close off in other ways, they go undiscovered, limit their value and waste time.
They start feeling everyone else knows something they don't know, and everyone else knows what to do. In the meantime, isolation gets deeper, whether from their own design or something imposed on them.

Merri Bame

Break Down

Never Feeling Good Enough



Break down the pattern before these impacts hit, affecting you and others.

WIth many approaches, this work could take years before seeing results, yet with Merri's focus on identifying and becoming aware of the barrier patterns while establishing key actions /behaviors that avoid the patterns, you can see results in as little as 6 months. 
Call or email Merri today.





Manage Self * Lead Others


Never Feeling Good Enough




1. If you are seeing the impacts described to the left, recognize that this is a pattern you have fallen into.
This is not you, only a pattern. Yet if you do nothing about it, it might as well be. 


2. Define Good Enough.


3. Recall those things you accomplished that you feel good about.
4. Let the wheels turn about what else you can accomplish. 
Executives on track
We're in this together.
by breaking down your     barriers.
You deserve to have the confidence,
the capability
and the communication
to Move Ahead. 
Forward this to others with the button below.
Merri Bame
Your Executive Communication Coach