I wish I could do one single thing perfectly well, dear Lord, so I wouldn't get so discouraged at the many things I do so imperfectly.
I eat too much; I get angry too often; I think unkind and impure thoughts more than I would like to admit; I am far too ambitious; too frequently I am jealous; and I am much less thoughtful than I know I ought to be.
After decades of trying to improve myself one would think I would be getting more things right than I do. The truth is, I am not actually inventing a whole lot of new and foolish things to do each day. Instead, I find myself simply repeating the same old foolish things I have done for a long time. I am having to re-learn those same old not-quite-learned lessons all over again. Practice has not made me more perfect. It has, instead, made me more discouraged and weary.
Be patient with me, O Lord. Help me to be more patient with myself as well. If I act foolishly, please help me to make that foolish action a solitary occurrence. Keep me from the embarrassment and suffering of revisiting and repeating old failures over and over again. I know that I am not yet what I ought to be. I just don't want to be stuck on what I once was.
Love,
Larry
dr_minister_larry@rotb.org