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Since I have been a massage therapist I have heard clients tell me they wish their spouse could do this. In this article, we will give you some basics to help you and your spouse be more attentive and sensual with each other.
When coming to see me or one of my other therapists, we establish an ambiance or mood. Touch is the key component finding the right pressure or rhythm of massage.It is a form of communication without speaking. By watching the body's movement throughout the massage, we know what type of pressure feels good.
So the first basic lesson is set the mood. This allows your spouse to relax and find scented candles of lilac, lavender, rain forest or ocean. The aroma from the candles will allow his/her body to begin to relax. Have some soft music playing in the back round.
Second lesson is to be patient. You don't want to rush things. You should find a rhythm with the music. Be the turtle slow and steady than being the rabbit who is fast.
Third lesson is touch. Make sure your spouse likes the touch, but this lesson is mainly for you, the giver of the massage. You don't have to use your thumbs all the time. You will wear yourself out! Learn to use the palm of your hand, your fingertips, and your knuckles. Remember to ask your partner once in awhile for feedback.
You can use the palm of your hands between the shoulder blades or the shoulders. Make sure you are following the muscle avoiding the skeletal area.You can use your fingertips up around the neck and back of head. Not a lot of pressure is needed so be careful to listen to your partner. Fingertips can also be used on feet and hands. Knuckles can be used along the spinal muscles gently. You can also use them on your spouses glutes (butt region). This type of massage is good for relaxing evening together. If you are giving the massage on the bed and your spouse is face down do not straddle him/her around the lower back. Place your weight near the bottom of the glutes and hamstrings.
There is another way to accommodate your spouse. This is massage is called a chair massage. It eliminates the romantic aspect of the massage, but it is effective. Your spouse sits in a chair backwards, facing the back of the chair.Dining room chairs or kitchen table chairs are great for this type of massage. He/She can place a pillow in front of them in the chair to eliminate any discomfort.
Now as your spouse sits comfortably you start massaging the shoulders, this feels really good. Remember all the rules and techniques apply even giving a 15-20 minute massage in the chair. Rhythm is very important and pressure. By giving your spouse a chair massage you have greater access to how much pressure you can provide. You can use the palm of your hands, knuckles, and fingertips on the back to alleviate the tension.
If you have questions about how to give your spouse a great massage you can email me (HERE). Or about providing a class for couples who would like to know more.
Ed Obert, LMT
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