CATS Logo1

41 Birch Street
Derry, NH 03038
603.434.5251
info@catsnh.org
www.catsnh.org





In This Issue
Bullying Information
Safe Communities Recognition
Starting the Conversation
Driving Tips
Safe Homes Network
Join CATS on Facebook

Current News
Read these news stories bookmarked on CATS delicious.  Visit the CATS website for news & events.

Making Change
Recovery Resource
A free recovery support group for young people (14-21).  St. David's Episcopal Church, 231 Main Street in  Salem on Thursdays from 4:15 to 5:15 PM.

Alcoholics Anonymous
www.nhaa.net
Office 603-622-6967
Hotline 1-800-593-3330

Al-Anon & Alateen
www.nhal-anon.org
Tel. 1-877-825-2666

Narcotics Anonymous
www.gsana.org
Helpline 1-888-624-3578

1-800-662-HELP
24/7 Treatment & Referral SAMHSA Hotline

1-800-273-TALK
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

CATS Staff

Sue Centner
Director

Paula Galvin
Assistant Director

Diana Griffin
Administrative Assistant

COMMUNITY ALLIANCE FOR TEEN SAFETY
Safe Homes & Communities


  February 2010


Dear Friend of the CATS Community,

We've all been made aware of the extent of the bullying and cyber-bullying problem.  The recent tragedy in Massachusetts is a terrible reminder.  WMUR-TV ran a special story this past weekend and the NH Legislature is reviewing HB1523: pupil safety and violence prevention in schools.  These and other related stories are bookmarked on the new Bullying Prevention resource page on the CATS website. 

CATS needs your help to look at the problem locally.  Are you interested in being a member of a work-group?  Do you or your children have first-hand stories to share?  Would you simply like to talk with other parents or school administrators?  How can we collectively come up with an effective bullying prevention program?  Please contact us to share your thoughts.  Also, CATS will be scheduling a discussion meeting in the near future - look for a special invitation.
 
As always, please contact CATS if you are interested in participating in any activities or if you have any  ideas you'd like to share.
 
Best regards,

Sue Centner, Director

Contact Us
Bullying Information from BullyFree NH
How to Tell if Your Child is a Target of Bullying

· Social Isolation
· Feelings of Being Alone or Isolation
· Feelings of Being Picked On
· Feelings of Rejection
· Low Interest In School
· Poor Academic Performance
· Feelings of Suicide
· Torn Clothes or other signs of physical fighting

As a parent, you know your child best and you can tell when your child's behavior has changed.  The change may be gradual or immediate.  The above list is in no way inclusive, and may be signs of other issues your child may be facing.  Talk with your child about the possible bullying at school.  All children react differently to bullying.  It may be important for you to consult a therapist.

What to do if you suspect your child is being bullied at school:
Contact your child's teacher, guidance counselor or principal.  Tell them of your concerns, ask them to investigate your suspicions.  Do not confront the suspected bully's parents.  Let the school do this.  The school is required to investigate reports of bullying see below.

What to do if your child tells you that he/she is being bullied at school:
Contact your child's school principal.  By NH state Law RSA 193-F,  all NH schools must have an anti-bullying policy; which must be followed in the case of reported abuse.  Be persistent, they must report to you any results of their investigation.  They are not able to tell you the name of the bully, but they must contact the bully's  parents.  Remind them it is their responsibility to provide a safe learning environment and it is all about the bully and the bully's unacceptable behavior. 

If the bullying continues, you may need to take further steps.  There is a reporting hierarchy:
  1. Contact the superintendents office
  2. Contact the school board
  3. Contact the NH Dept. of Education/NH State School Board
A bully needs help too:
If your child has been identified as a bully by his or her school, or you have witnessed your child bullying another child or sibling take action.  Remember, children bully because they can, and adults often do little to intervene.

Here is a suggestion:
· Identify the behavior, "Johnny, calling Billy names is bullying."
· Tell your child that bullying is inappropriate and that you will not tolerate bullying.
· Ask your child what it was he/she was trying to accomplish by his/her bullying behavior.
· Bullying behavior is self-rewarding and self-gratifying, and if the bullying behavior continues it may be important for you to consult a therapist.
CATS Featured in 2010 Safe Communities Report


CATS was nominated by the NH Highway Safety Agency to be featured in the upcoming 2010 Safe Communities Report for the National Highway Traffic Safety Agency (NHTSA). NHTSA was looking for Safe Communities coalitions, Community Traffic Safety Programs, Community-based Organizations and Faith-based Outreach Programs that have sustained over five years as Safe Communities. Look for the report in the coming months! (2008 CATS mock crash pictured at right.)

According to NHTSA Safe Communities:

The U.S. Department of Transportation has made a clear commitment to the philosophy that communities are in the best position to affect improvements in motor vehicle and other transportation-related safety problems. When a community takes ownership of an issue, change happens!

The Safe Communities approach represents a new way community programs are established and managed. All partners participate as equals in developing solutions, sharing successes, assuming risks, and building a community structure and process to continue improvement of community life through the reduction of injuries and costs. A Safe Community expands resources and partnerships, increases program visibility, and establishes community ownership and support for transportation injury prevention programs. 
Starting the Conversation
It can sometimes be hard to start a conversation with your teen regarding safe driving.  
Here are some questions and topics to get a conversation started!
 
Seat Belts
· Go over the seat belt statistics.  What surprises your teen?  Can they relate to any of the statistics?
· What's the point of wearing a seat belt?
· Explain why you want your teen to wear a seat belt.
· Do their friends wear them?  Why or why not.
· What are our state's requirements for seat belts?
· Discuss consequences for not wearing a seat belt.
· Would you wear a seat belt:  In a parking lot?  While driving in town?  While
driving on the freeway?  In the driveway?   
· How can we work together to help you remember to always wear a seat belt?

Underage Drinking
· Discuss the underage drinking facts.  What surprises you?
· Do your friends drink?  If so, during what times and events?  If not, why not?
· Why do people in your school drink?  Is it hard to say no to drinking?  Why?
· Discuss anyone you might know that has either been killed by a drunk driver or has been affected by a drunk driver in any way.
· Why is it important to not drink and drive?
· How can you help others to not drink and drive?
· Discuss some strategies for saying no to drinking.
· Discuss strategies for protecting yourself from getting into a vehicle with a drunk
driver.
· What are your plans for the future?  How does a DUI fit into those plans?  
Practice Tips for Driving with Your Teen

It's important to remember a few things when practicing driving with your teen.
 
· Don't be pushy.  If your teen is not ready to start learning, do not force them into it.  Forcing them only causes them to be more nervous during a time that already causes a high sense of anxiety.  Mention that you are available to help them learn, but let them come to you first.
 
· You are in control.  You are the teacher, and you make the best decisions for your teen.   
 
· Set some basic ground rules.  For example, you won't drive over 30 mph the first week, you must always wear your seat belt, you must be willing to take constructive advice, etc.
 
· Pack your patience.  If you are a parent who can teach your teen how to drive without getting a little frustrated or anxious, you should get some kind of award.  A huge one.  There are going to be times when you get upset and when your teen gets upset.  Talk to each other before they get behind the wheel.  Let them know that you are on their side.  
 
· Don't talk down to your teen when you are teaching them how to drive.  Learning to drive a car is a very adult thing to do, and your teen is wanting more and more to be treated like an adult.  Talking to them like you used to when they threw cereal on the floor or broke a toy will do nothing to build a relationship between the two of you when you practice.  They need to know that you respect them and that you trust them.  And don't talk in generalities, like "You never stop at a stop sign correctly" or "You always drive too fast in parking lots".  This only attacks their character, and frustration will soon set it.
 
· Be sure to give specific praise to your teen as they drive.  For example, "I like how calmly you stopped the car at that last intersection" or "You really did a good job merging lanes as we got off the freeway".  These kinds of comments will really stick with your teen.  They want to impress you, and they need to know that they are going in the right direction.
 
· Set a specific agenda for each time you take your teen out to practice.  Here are some ideas:  freeway driving, stopping at intersections, parking, merging lanes, residential driving, obeying crosswalk laws, etc.
 
· Keep your conversations focused on driving.  Do not bring up last night's fight about curfew or who they will be taking to the prom.  Your teen is nervous already.  They don't need to be distracted by other things going on in their life.
 
· Set a time limit that both you and your teen can agree on.  Driving for too long will probably cause more arguments and anxiety.  Keep the time on the road short and sweet.
 
· Keep a driving log while you practice.  Take note of things to improve, things your teen is doing well, and other notes of interest.  Discuss the log with your teen at the end of each driving session.
 
· Don't stop talking with your teen after they get a license.  Continue the safe driving
conversation.

Get Involved with Safe Homes Network


1. Can you spare one to two hours a month to serve as a member of an advisory committee?

2. Have you invited a friend to join Safe Homes Network?

Safe Homes Network is a nationally recognized voluntary peer parent/guardian support network with the goal of enhancing the safety net for youth and reducing the toll of underage drinking and use of drugs. In signing a voluntary pledge, participating parents elect to take an active role in minimizing the influence of alcohol and drugs on youth in their homes and to be available to other parents via a Safe Homes Network directory.

In addition to enhancing youth safety CATS Safe Homes Network is also committed to educating parents about current laws and policy such as the State of New Hampshire's party host liability law, RSA 644:18 Facilitating a Drug or Underage Alcohol House Party. This law holds "hosts" of parties responsible for the actions of underage participants and can result in fines and/or jail time. Safe Homes Network is currently offered to residents of Chester, Derry and Hampstead. Go to www.catsnh.org/safehomesnetwork.html for more information and the pledge!
 

Join CATS on Facebook


CATS has joined a growing number of non-profits, organizations, businesses, and individuals by creating a page on the social networking website Facebook.  Our goals are to increase the opportunities people have to access timely information about issues affecting families and communities, provide a discussion forum for our members to share their voice as well as a resource for local events.  

The CATS page on Facebook and the CATS website are intended to complement  each other as part of an overall effort to improve our communications with members of the CATS community in an informed and manageable way.

Helpful Links to Get Started
Community Alliance for Teen Safety is a nonprofit 501(c)(3) organization. Our mission is to promote safe habits for all youth by increasing awareness of high-risk behaviors, encouraging healthy choices, and fostering community alliances in Chester, Derry, Hampstead, Londonderry, Salem and Windham.