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Featured Article
This edition's featured article is by psychologist John Gottman. It is in the December 2007 HBR and is called "Making Relationships Work".
His extraordinary research on relationships is also referenced in "Blink" by Malcolm Gladwell. My favorite quote from the HBR interview is
"...you could capture all of my research with the metaphor of a saltshaker. Instead of salt, fill it with all the ways you can say yes, and that's what a good relationship is."
Wow! Simple but how often we overlook the power of Yes.
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Wishing You Success in 2008
A home is a wonderful thing! This time of year seems to highlight warmth and security, and we are grateful for it. In our life, Laura and I have moved several times and have always been fortunate to find a home, whether apartment or house, that suited us. While most of us will enjoy family and friends over a warm meal, many are not so fortunate. On any given night in America, more than 3 million people experience homelessness, including 1.3 million children, according to estimates of the National Law Center on Homelessness and Poverty. It somehow seems unthinkable that there could be so much want in a nation so rich.
Laura and I have decided to dedicate our contributions this year to the fight against homelessness. Please join us in helping this worthy cause. From our home to yours, please accept our best wishes for great success in 2008.
Click here to participate in fighting homelessness.
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Relationships- the social glue of organizations.
"Location, Location, Location!" is the old adage about successful real estate sales. Well similar simple advice is true of successful organizations - "Relationships, Relationships, Relationships!" Beyond all of the corpo-speak, fancy rhetoric, and programs-of-the-day, the simple reality is that quality relationships make all the difference. This applies customers, suppliers, employees, leaders, recruits, retirees, investors, analysts - you name it! If it includes people (and what doesn't) then relationships are critical.
What makes a good relationship? How can I build better relationships? Can I repair a faltering relationship? When my clients ask me these questions I give them one answer - LEARN TO SAY YES! When I say yes it creates the soil for a positive relationship to take root and grow.
My partner (and wife) Laura, has a favorite story of turning a difficult relationship around. We were new to the Dallas area and trying to get the kids and our family established in the schools. Laura (very research and thought oriented) volunteered on a committee with Jeanne who was very demanding and action oriented. The differing styles created a lot of stress in their relationship, Laura worked to use Jeanne's decisiveness to move projects forward, and Jeanne learned to use Laura's thoughtfulness to more deeply understand the complexity of their work together. They found a way to say YES! to each other's differences.
Executive coaching, career development, team building, hiring, selection and performance management all have similar relationship aspects at their core. Here are my 3 keys to understanding and managing relationships better:
- Know Thyself (your relationship to yourself)
- Accept and honor differences (and use them to your benefit)
- Look for little ways to connect, pay attention and compliment the other person's contribution
So - here is my relationship coaching tip for the day - look for, listen for and find ways to say Yes! to someone's suggestion, request or dream. When it comes to relationships, you're going to get back what you give, sometimes "a hundredfold"! I personally guarantee that you'll be glad you did.
Contact us for ways that you and your team can work on your relationship skills and improve performance. We have been helping individuals and organizations for 15 years, Let us help you.
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