One of the things you have to be careful about when you start working towards your goals with the single-minded passion that often accompanies such a pursuit is that you do not lose your perspective on life. You need avoid focusing exclusively on yourself and taking other people and their help for granted. When you start to take other people and all of the things they have done for you for granted it will not only create more stress for you, it will alienate you from those who are closest to you.
Naikan self-reflection is an excellent tool to use to help you change your perspective on your big picture when you start to feel this way. With origins in Pure Land Buddhist philosophical teachings that emphasize grace and a sense of interconnectedness among all things in life, Naikan therapy represents the self-reflective or introspective element of Japanese Psychology.
The cornerstone of Naikan practice is reflecting on three questions that help you gain insight into what you already have and develop a deeper appreciation of your connectedness and indebtedness to others. The three questions are:
1. What did I receive from others today?
2. What did I give to others today?
3. What troubles and difficulties did I cause others today?
Reflecting on these questions for 30 minutes (10 minutes for each question) at least once a week forms the basis for developing grace and expressing gratitude. Developing grace, and becoming more grateful for what you have and what others have done for you shifts your focus off of yourself and your problems and onto what others have done for you and the problems you have caused them.
In time, shifting your attention away from yourself and onto the generosity of others helps you feel more connected to them. Such feelings of interconnectedness are the hallmark of a heightened sense of spirituality. You can modify the questions to focus on a specific person and for a specific time period. For example you could reflect on your spouse, over the past year. Performing this activity on Sunday night is a great way to look back on your week and think about all the things that others did for you to help you through that period of time.
