Daughters of Promise Devotional
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CRUMBS AT THE TABLE
"You have had five husbands." John 4: 18
Can you identify with the Samaritan woman who had, most likely, been married - then discarded - five times? We can assume her marital history is her fault but knowing her culture, that women had no rights, it would be more realistic to assume that she had been divorced, turned out of her home, and/or widowed. With each situation though, I'm confident that she dreamt she would find love. Reading how her conversation with Jesus unfolded, I suspect she came to the well cynical and self-protective.
When our relationships deprive us of the love we crave, we begin to suspect that we should adapt our personality to fit the expectations of others. Anything to be loved! We twist and bend, cry, even manipulate to get others to give us what we need. Sometimes it works, but we get crumbs instead of a feast. We rationalize that a little is better than nothing so we set ourselves up to perform, only to be disappointed again.
Continuing to look to people for what only He can give is idolatry. Only Abba, Father can fill our souls. Having turned to a long list of 'others', requires repentance. "Oh Father, I'm so sorry for trying to replace You. I should have come to You. Forgive me." Repentance always unlocks the power of heaven.
I realize that this might seem unfair at first glance. You might ask, "I've been the one deprived. Now I have to repent?" Yes, if in your need you have looked to others for your wholeness. Our fallen nature drives us, even subconsciously, to choose God last instead of first. Seeking anyone before God is idolatry. We might not have known better, did it out of ignorance, but sinful choices still ruled us. Falling on our face in sincere apology is easy compared to what Jesus paid to say, "I forgive you". When we feel too proud, and humility is far from us, let's remember all He suffered compared to what He asks of us.
You alone can fill the hole in my heart. For most of my life, I traveled the long way home. Amen
Christine Wyrtzen
Daughters of Promise
www.daughtersofpromise.org
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