The Joydancer Weekly Word and News
|
Looking for Love in
All the Right Places
September 3, 2009
|
Hello!!
Welcome to the Joydancer Weekly Word and News.
I hope this finds you well, and remembering the truth of who you are.
Conscious Relationship ~ Part 2
A Road Map to Intimacy
Knowing what you feel and expressing it
It is not easy to be intimate in conscious relationship.
In fact, everything we learned as children goes against our adult desire for
intimacy and relationship. Frankly, our beloved parents taught us a bunch of
lies. It wasn't their fault, the lies were taught to them, and taught by
generations before them. Lies. Agreements and beliefs that were so contradictory
and absurd that anyone with any sense of logic would cry "foul!" But we
believed, and we taught, and we preserved, and we immersed ourselves in those
lies.
We can escape.
It is never to late to have a rational adulthood. It is never to late to change
our dream, to re-program the lies downloaded into our minds, and create lives
based on truth, presence, and true intimacy. Someone told me recently that it
sounded like a lot of work. My reply was: "Yes, it's true, it takes some
effort, but think about how much effort it takes to obey rules that make no
sense, to keep agreements that go against our very nature, and to justify and
defend beliefs that were never ours in the first place."
My road map to
intimacy: How do we get from here to there? Or, better, how do we get home
to here from there? How do we reclaim our truth, our deepest reality, and bring
it into relationships of all kinds? It starts with an intimacy with ourselves.
We must recognize and honor our own truth, our own feeling reality, before we
can share it in relationship with another.
The first awareness
we must embrace is that our feelings are a precious part of our life. As
Little Ones we were often made wrong for our emotional expressions. Now it is time to change the agreement
we made back then, the one that said our emotions and feelings were a problem
that needed to be solved, with repression and/or punishment. It is time to
recognize that as unique expressions of an unfathomable source of Life, each of
us has been created with an equally unique set of feeling expressions. Rather
than being a problem to be solved, I would suggest that our feelings are the
only manual we have been given for the operation of our individual special
human experience of Life.
Once we accept that our feelings are important guides to
our lives, we need to be willing to risk finding out how we feel. Sounds
simple, but sometime it isn't easy! A woman told me recently that when she asks
her husband what he is feeling, his response is either "I'm fine" or "I don't
know." That doesn't give either of them much to work with.
So, we must become
students of feelings. What does it mean to feel something? Our bodies feel emotions. My rule is, "If
you can't feel it in your body, it isn't a feeling." Can your body feel
"betrayed?" Nope. When you think you
have been betrayed, your body will feel something; maybe anger, hurt, or fear.
Can your body feel "disrespected?" Nope. Same deal. Can you feel anger in your
body? Yup, you bet! Anger is a feeling, betrayed is not.
Once you learn what feelings are, then you will need the
courage to feel them. If you learned they were the enemy ("Go to your room
until you stop crying and discuss this reasonably"), you will need to change
some old fears and agreements to free yourself to feel what you feel.
Then comes the
dangerous part: Expressing your feelings to another. Whew! You will always
risk rejection-but you will also, sometimes, be rewarded with true intimacy.
Is it worth the risk? Yes! Perhaps we can't really be
intimate until we are willing to say, "I feel hurt (period)." No blame, no fixing--
just "I feel hurt." Or "I feel angry." When we are truly intimate with our own
feelings, and willing to risk sharing them with another, only then are we truly
being intimate.
Go for it! With love.
________________________________
Yours IN love, and The New Dream of Peace in the Hearts of All Humans,
|
Allan
| 
I support couples and singles by phone, internet, and in person, on the journey to becoming vitally alive and conscious in relationships of all kinds~ especially the relationship with ourselves and our divine perfection.
This is my passion, and I bring 20 years of experience to your service.
Questions? Get in touch. I am available: allanh@sonic.net
(707) 528-1271
|
Upcoming Events
In the Joydancer World
September 8: 5:30 ~ 7:00 PDT.
Join Toltec teacher Sheri Rosenthal and Allan for a lively discussion about "Living in Conscious Relationship" on her Teleclass line. Free.
You must register here ~ Great new technology, this will be creative and fun!
*********
September 13, 1:30 ~ 4:30 pm. PDT. Oakland, CA. A Sunday afternoon workshop on Conscious Relationship with Allan and Shelly Ross, creator of the Kijo system of movement. $45. Details on Joydancer.com here
 *********
Allan delivers the "sermon" at the Church of the Oaks, Cotati, CA. Enjoy an informal non-denominational service, and Allan's sharing about Love and Life.
An afternoon workshop will follow, details available soon.
*********
September 27, 11:00~12:00 noon, PDT
Allan delivers the "sermon" at The Center for Spiritual Living, Davis, CA. This will be another informal sharing of Allan's wisdom: "Living in Conscious Relationship with our Divinity."
An afternoon workshop will follow, details available soon.
*********
October 1~6: Teotihuacán, still rooms left. Don't delay, still good flights available, too.
**********
October 24~25: The Reno Psychic Fair, Intuitive Arts and Alternative Healing, Reno, NV. Allan has a booth and offers the Keynote Address ("Living in Conscious Relationship") for this weekend expo at 2:00 pm (PDT) on Sunday, Oct 25. "IN Celebration of Life."
Location and information is here
**********
At the end of October Allan will drive to his winter home at the beach in Chacala, Nayarít, Mexico, where he will await your presence.
|
Join me in Chacala, Nayarít, Mexico this winter,
to celebrate Love, Romance, and Relationship
in the tropics.
Come as a tourist, for Valentine's Week,
or for a personal intensive.
FROM NOVEMBER
2009 thru MARCH 2010
 
INTENSIVES: I will be working in Chacala with selected individuals in intensive one-on-one examination and clearing of limiting beliefs and agreements.
To take advantage of this unique opportunity to vacation and transform your life, contact me directly to reserve your time.
TOURIST/VISITOR: Contact me and I will help you choose and reserve the perfect place for your stay, and help you with travel arrangements ("The beach is that way").
Chacala is a small fishing village about 90 minutes north of Puerto Vallarta on the west coast of Mexico. It has escaped the commercial tourist development of many of Mexico's beautiful beaches, but may not last long. Hurry down before it is too late.
|
|
