Greetings! ,  

 

I am pleased to announce that our Second Wives Club Blog on the Florida Alimony Reform web site ready for our use! Keep your eye out and get ready to post and join our lively discussions. We can be found by going to the Florida Alimony Reform web site and clicking on the Second Wives Club tab or by clicking on  Florida Alimony Reform Second Wives Club. We are also maintaining our presence on Facebook at  Florida Second Wives Club Page. 

 

I have a request of ALL FEMALE FLORIDA ALIMONY REFORM MEMBERS. If you are a male member and reading this, please pass this information on to your girlfriend, fiancé or wife. We are requesting A 1-2 MINUTE video of yourself telling your alimony plight for a segment on our web site called the FLORIDA SECOND WIVES CLUB VIDEO DIARIES. The video need not be professional at all. In fact, if it is too professional looking, it may look produced, scripted, or "canned". We want real people telling their real stories in a two minute format. If you have special circumstances and need to exceed the two minutes, try to keep it as condensed as possible. Remember, you do not need a "horror" story to qualify; you simply must be in a position where your significant other's permanent alimony negatively impacts YOUR life or the lives of your children or even his children. Recording the video on your cell phone, web cam or hand-held camera is just fine. Please introduce yourself, let us know where you live, and tell your story. As frustrated as you may be with your current situation, please refrain from using any profanity or insults. Be polite and just state the facts.

 

Here is my story. It is not a horror story, but it is sad, at least for me. I am unwilling to marry my fiancé because of the current laws under which case law could allow my hard earned income to be included in my fiancé's permanent alimony payments. My fiancé's ex-wife is a healthy, intelligent, college educated woman with lots of work experience, but since their divorce, she has chosen not to have a regular job with benefits under which she can support herself. She chooses not to be self-sufficient, independent, or improve herself or her life. Instead she takes the easy road because the law allows her to. She takes lifetime alimony. The current law does not have any provision requiring her to eventually be self-sustaining. Durational alimony to help a non or lower earning spouse an opportunity to transition to single life is fine, but an able-bodied person to be entitled to a check for life just because they were once married? I don't think that is fair or right. My fiancé has a high stress job where he puts in long hours. I do worry about his health as a result of the stress. Due to the change of the economy, he does not earn as much as he used to before the downturn. My fiancé's ex-wife benefits from his hard work each day and has absolutely no accountability to take care of her self under the law. He has very little ability to even help his own children aged 17 and 20 due to his permanent alimony obligation.

 

Because of my fear of getting married, I do not get the benefits of being a wife. This includes the obvious legal ones such as medical insurance, hospital visits, healthcare decisions, etc., as well as lack of recognition by society and family. Some folks are old fashioned and not accepting of a non-married couple as a "real couple". The reality is that I am not accepted into my fiancé's family as his "wife", but rather as a girlfriend. The situation makes me feel like a second class citizen.

 

The current Florida laws stand in the way of me being happily married. Instead of enjoying a happy marriage, I feel sad and frustrated. I am a mathematics professor, so I suppose my brain is wired for balance. I do not see balance in a situation where laws that are supposedly intended to help families are actually preventing a new, happy family from fully and legally materializing. I do not see balance where a man can work so hard, a woman can collect a paycheck permanently from him, literally from the sweat of his brow, until the day he dies (and then she benefits from the proceeds of a life insurance policy he must keep for her), while she enjoys what most would consider a care-free existence. Heck, if he has to keep paying her for life, she should be earning her pay by doing his cooking and cleaning. Of course I'm being sarcastic, but I think you understand my point.

 

So, there is my story. I told my story on Fox 35 News Orlando, and I will tell it again on our Florida Second Wives Club Video Diaries. I hope each and every female associated with a permanent alimony payer will do the same. We need to SHOW the powers that be the REAL people being hurt by the current laws. In order to get these laws changed, we need to break out of the box, go public and tell our stories. If we are afraid and quiet, no one will know we exist, that we are affected, and that the current alimony laws are not OK.

 

If you are willing to do this, please let me know that you will be doing so, and I will send you instructions how to send the video to me. I also have a list of people who have already told me they are willing to go on television and be interviewed. There are some opportunities in the works and our media consultant will be contacting you when they come to your area. If you have not already let me know that you are interested in being interviewed, please do so now so you will not miss out.

 

Thank you. Together we will change Florida's antiquated laws!

 

Debbie Leff Israel

Committee Leader - Second Wives Club - Florida

secondwivesclubfl@gmail.com

"The voice of the female casualties of permanent alimony."

 

Florida Alimony Reform

www.FloridaAlimonyReform.com

 "Remember, if we let up, we lose!"