Dealing with the Unexpected

August, 2011

Quote of the month:

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes."

by Charles R. Swindoll (American Writer and Clergyman, b.1934)

My Philosophy

My therapeutic philosophy is a combination of believing that discussions of the past can help you to understand where you have come from, which allows you to be able to define where you are today, which further aids in the creating of goals needed to help you reach your full potential.

I will treat you with compassion, understanding and respect, knowing that asking for help is not an easy thing to do.

YOU ARE WORTH THE EFFORT!!

Life is not always easy. It doesn't come with a manual. But it usually does come with an instinct to seek help when it is needed.

I welcome the opportunity to help you work through current issues and to look at your future with a sense of hope and purpose.

Greetings!

In your everyday life are you faced with choices to make? How do you go about making the right choice? What if something unexpected happens that you hadn't planned on? How do you handle it? How would you like to handle it? I have had a recent experience that I wish to share in the hopes that it allows you to relate to some of the choices you make every day and encourages you to take a step back to realize what is most important in life.

Please forward this email to anyone you feel may benefit from its content.

Sincerely,

Maryellen Dabal, MA, LMFTA

Southlake Counseling & Neurofeedback Center

420 North Carroll Ave Suite 140

Southlake, TX 76092

817-876-9958
www.dabalmft.com

maryellen@dabalmft.com

Missed previous newsletters??

Go to www.dabalmft.com. Click on the newsletters link at the bottom of the home page. Enjoy.....

From The Positive Perspective.......

I have just returned from a wonderful vacation with my husband and our best friends of over 30 years. Something unexpected happened on one of our first days that could have truly either spoiled our time together or at the very least caused some tension for time to come. There was some mix-up with the room we were assigned. OK, so some frustration at first. We haven't been on vacation together for about 5 years and were eager to catch up. So what do we do? Get upset? Yes, for a few minutes. Go see the hotel director? Yes, we did that and had no luck in changing anything. Somehow we all realized at that moment that we had absolutely no control over the situation and we had a choice. Were we going to let this spoil a wonderful time or were we going to compromise and get on with enjoying our trip? We made the choice to continue in good spirits and made a joke of the whole set of circumstances the entire trip.

I had recently been reading the book Man's Search For Meaning by psychotherapist Viktor E. Frankl. His book poignantly explains the many horrific experiences of his being in a concentration camp and dealing with everyday tragedy. He also explains his study of individuals within that camp to understand why some lost their psychological fight for freedom and some did not. He goes on to discover that when people understand that while they may not always have control in what happens to them, they always have control over how they respond to those circumstances. Those that understood this were able to hang on to hope for something better in their lives. That hope gave them determination and strength to endure this torture knowing that life might be Ok if they got through this torture.

In my recent experience, while I in no way compare this with Dr. Frankl's experience, it allowed me to step back and realize what was important here. Didn't really matter about the room configuration, as long we were all together having fun and enjoying each other's company. And that's exactly what we did.

So the next time you are faced with a challenging decision, step back and take note. You may not be able to control the fact that it is raining on the day you have planned an outdoor barbecue and you may not be able to control the fact that your in-laws are coming to visit in September because they always come to visit in September, but you can control how you respond to these things. It just takes a little effort and a little reflection.

Enjoy what is left of our summer and if you live in Texas, stay cool any way you can. 28 days and counting of over 100 degree daily high temps.

It helps to look at this situation and all situations in life From The Positive Perspective......

Feedback

I welcome feedback regarding the newsletter or questions about my practice. I can be reached at maryellen@dabalmft.com. I cannot, however, give advice through email. For more information on my practice please visit my website: www.dabalmft.com.

I wish you well...