One of the most famous (and consequently, incorrectly used) verses in the Bible, is found at Philippians 4:13, where Paul said, "I am able to do all things through Christ who strengthens me."  You see it everywhere in the sports world, and people attribute it to the reason that athletes jump higher and run faster.  Others post it to Facebook during finals week after a night spent on the Tennessee Strip when they wake up the next morning for an 8:00 exam.  YOLO, right?

But since I have joined the ranks of the unemployed, I am humbled by the two verses that precede it: "11I don't say this out of need, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. 12 I know both how to have a little, and I know how to have a lot. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being content-whether well fed or hungry, whether in abundance or in need." (Philippians 4:11-12).  This "secret" that Paul refers to is no secret; in fact, the entire Bible, even the seemingly non sequitur stories of the Old Testament, point to this "secret".  Paul is referring to being content in the abundant life found in Jesus.

The Sunday after I was let go, I was confused why so many people showed up to City Church.  After all, our pastor, Dean Inserra, wrote the sermon specifically for me (or so it seemed...ever have one of those Sundays, or am I the only one?).  During our summer series on Money, Power, Sex, we have been going through the story of King Solomon.  While there have been a lot of valuable takeaways from this series, this Sunday in particular really hit home.

In 1 Kings, in one of the seemingly innocuous passages, we learn that Solomon took 7 years to build the temple, one of the most holy structures in all of the Bible, but took 13 years to complete his own palace.  While it is easy to skip over this, it points out the truth of 2 Timothy 3:16 ("All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness").  Even someone who did many things to further God's kingdom still had issues getting his priorities in order.  Solomon apparently cared about the extravagance of his own dwelling more than that of the temple where his Creator dwelled.  He was a man of great fortune, both financially and in his standing with God, but he still placed his own desires above doing that which is pleasing to the Lord.

This subtle point actually gives me great comfort.  While I may be light years behind Solomon spiritually, it is comforting to know that others struggle with the same things that I face.  While we affirm things that we know to be true, we live as "practical atheists" at times.  This is a term that is used in contemporary Christian circles to describe someone who claims to know Jesus, but often lives like He doesn't exist.  There is one area that I've done this with recently, and it is an area that the Bible repeatedly says is tied directly to my heart: my finances.

I have been striving lately to pay down debt.  There are verses in Proverbs that reference that the borrower is slave to the lender (Proverbs 22:7).  While this warning to avoid debt is wise and well-founded, I let my obsession with becoming debt free get in the way of my responsibility to give back to God what he has so generously given me.  Now that I have no income, it has been a clear kick in the pants about my greedy ways and neglecting my responsibilities of tithing.  I can do far more with 90% of some income than 100% of no income.

I was not trusting what Paul told us that he had learned.  I was searching for contentment in a job and an income and financial stability.  While I believe that avoiding debt and being a responsible steward of what God has given us is important, that does not mean to look after yourself first and not trust that He will provide.  This was my folly.  I was not searching for contentment in the promise of new life through the grace of God.  I was not following His example, when he freely gave his blameless son to stand in my place and take the punishment I deserved.

Let me be very clear: I do not think that I lost my job because I had been an unfaithful steward of God's blessings.  I do not blame God; quite the opposite.  I am thankful for a God who tells me very clearly that "where your treasure is, there your heart will be also" (Matthew 6:21), and then loves me enough to press down on this issue after I fail to heed His teaching for so long.  I am also thankful for a church that speaks truth and pulls no punches, and this was one punch that found its mark.  There is great unrest that comes from not knowing who will sign your next paycheck.  But my goals in this new stage of life not only include finding employment, but also striving toward the peace and contentment that Paul spoke of.  God is teaching me to now be content with little, so that when I have a lot again, I will be faithful in giving back what is His.