The Bible says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path," Proverbs 3:5-6. I've always thought about this verse and simply said 'yep, I will trust in the Lord and He will direct my path.' However, simple is becoming more and more complicated. How do I trust Him with all my heart when every time I try to live 'called not employed' there is something that knocks me on my butt again. Those closest to you will say don't worry this will only make you stronger and closer with Him. Well I never feel stronger. It seems that just when I have something figured out, I realize that I missed the whole point entirely. I find myself relying on what I understand. It is probably very common, but every time it causes me to doubt. I doubt God's love for me, what Jesus did on the cross, His plan for my life, and even does he really exist.  My understanding will always fall short and for me that is especially tough. One of the hardest challenges in my life is to give over to Christ this need to understand.

The problem is 'leaning on my own understanding'. How do you not lean on your own understanding? While reading about the struggles of the apostles, it hits me that they do not dwell on the 'questions' but on just following. It always amazed me that when Jesus called the disciples he just said 'Follow me" and they did. They seemed to just immediately trust Him. The disciples innately understood one thing; Focus on Christ. It seems that part of growing in your faith is to let the questions arise but to follow Him regardless. The Bible never says it will be easy but He will be with you and it is worth it. The questions are still there but I choose this day and every day to follow Jesus. Paul continues on in Phillipians 4:12, "I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether living in plenty or in want." And that secret is to focus on Christ.

Proverbs 3:5-6 always came across so simple, but the more I grow in Christ the more it seems to say. I don't have it all figured out and probably never will. But every question, every doubt, and every search leads me to one answer, Christ.

Brett Kirkland is called, not employed, as a Research Doctor/Postdoctoral Fellow in Cancer Diagnostics at FSU. In addition, he is the Founder and CEO of Target-Bio Technologies, and you can often find him volunteering as a Guardian ad Litem. As part of the parking crew at City Church, he helps you get in and out of church in the most efficient way every Sunday morning.