Lately God has allowed me to gain control over my selfish heart in an area that I have been struggling with for a while. A little while ago I had been feeling as if I needed to really understand what it means to have better perspective about who people really are and not just the  surface level assumptions of their lives.

I believe that learning to change and adapt your perspective can be an amazing tool for softening your heart. Softening your heart is to be less judgmental and self-centered in your thinking. When we don't understand people, we tend to make up our own assumptions about who they are. Assumptions usually stem from a lack of knowledge about them and we feel the need to fill that void with our own conclusions that are usually inaccurate. Considering that we are a bunch of self-centered and stubborn humans, when we look to ourselves to fill in the gaps, we tend to believe what our bad hearts project onto people. This usually means that we lean toward the negative side of thinking and we become pessimistic in how we view people. I am someone who struggles with this every day. I am now trying to understand people so well and to know them on a deeper level so that when they make decisions differently than I would have or they have dispositions contrary to my own, knowing the reasons for those differences is extremely beneficial to gaining true perspective into their life and God's heart for them.

We need to not have such a restricted perspective into people's lives but to BE IN other people's lives experiencing what they do. People have weaknesses and people make mistakes. Instead of judging externally how they appear to me or criticizing how they live their lives, I need to love them for who I learn they are as a person because there are so many circumstances that can affect why people make certain decisions or why they are who they are. If we put ourselves in their shoes, given similar circumstances, we may make the same decision or be the same way as them. So let me make this easy for you by pointing you to the only way you can combat wrong perspectives of people and truly have grace for someone you are losing perspective on. The answer is viewing them as God does. God died for the person I am judging in my heart! He came so that I AND that person can know Him and be in a relationship with Him. So ultimately, no matter how I view that person, God loves them just as much as me, and He died for them just as much as me. No matter how hard I have tried to be friendlier or to change my own way of thinking, I can't do it because I am inadequate as a sinner and I need God to change my heart and therefore change my perspective on people. The only way to a righteous and holy perspective of people is to seek that of the lord and to transform our minds into being pure and hopeful because God is!

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is- His good, pleasing and perfect will." - Romans 12:2

 "There are many devices in a man's heart; nevertheless the counsel of the Lord, that shall stand." - Proverbs 19:21

As humans, we naturally have incredibly dark hearts. We tend to look at people and dislike them because they are different from us. The only way to have righteous hearts is to rely on the Truth from God. The Truth is that we are all sinners and God died for all of us. So together as a church we need to stop being judgmental of one another but to view each other as forgiven because that is how God views us. Drama can be very addicting (still trying to understand "drama") and our hearts lean toward evil anyway so it will be very hard. But if we really start seeking God's truth and purity in our hearts then our minds will be transformed to be able to see others with the correct perspective, God's perspective, and we will have real love for one another.

 Leslie is a Jacksonville native that now calls Tallahassee her home. Two of her passions are people and hair, so naturally she felt called to become a hair stylist.  She graduated from The Aveda Institute in July 2010 and is now a Designer Stylist at Chelsea Salon and Spa.  Last May, she married City Church's very own First Impressions Director, Bryan Szendel.