Change of Plans
by Lawson Yale

I love to make plans; plans for this weekend, plans for spring break, plans to attend graduate school, I even get paid to write lesson plans!  These plans, more often than not, are rarely executed according to 'plan'.  It is human nature to justify an unfortunate event, an awesome change, or when something just doesn't go the way we had hoped.  Our grandmothers have always said 'don't you worry, God has a plan', but even our non-believing friends will tell you 'everything happens for a reason.'  Are our excuses and justifications merely a way to sedate our conscience?  Or are they truly an indication of where our heart lies?

Until recently, I would not have been able to answer those questions.  I was quick to say 'everything happens for a reason.'  Just because.  However, just a couple weeks ago it was a gorgeous Saturday morning and my travel plans to Jacksonville had been cancelled, so I made plans to meet up with a couple good friends before the FSU game.  We were going to tailgate then head up to the University Center Club and watch FSU beat Wake Forest.  As the 3:30 kick-off neared I found myself getting increasingly agitated.  No one I was supposed to see that day was answering their phone and I sent texts in vain.  At about 2:55 I figured "What the heck, are you really ever alone in Doak Campbell Stadium?  Of course not."  I hopped in my car, drove to the game alone, but by this time, parking is super hard to come by, so I couldn't go to my usual lot.  As I struggled to find parking, I was having a heated conversation with God out loud (good thing my windows are tinted).  I questioned him.  "If there is a reason for everything WHY am I going to a football game ALONE? Are you trying to prove to me that I have no friends?  Or maybe this is a sign I should be at home grading papers and getting caught up on lesson plans?  Maybe I should just go home because for some reason you think I should not find a parking spot either!  Maybe I WILL go home! There is no reason for this crap!"

I finally found parking on Madison Street; although at the time, I couldn't have told you where I was.   In 6 years of being a Tallahassee resident, I have never been on that road before.  As soon as I slammed my car door, I heard a black Jeep hit something-hard.  As I darted across the street, the Jeep barreled past me as the driver tried to regain control of the car, but they never stopped.  I glared at the driver and thought "stupid drunk college kids" but once they passed and I looked ahead in the direction of the stadium, I realized what I heard.  There she was, Kathy Raynor, lying unconscious and bleeding from the head, left for dead in the street.  As I ran to her and knelt at her side, I was talking to her aloud, just hoping that the sensation of my hands on her body and the sound of my voice would keep her alive, but in my head I was thanking God for slapping me in the face.  It is no secret that 15 minutes before kick-off the streets are deserted.   I was there for a reason; that day, God's plans had been vastly different than my own.  Within the blink of an eye, my feelings toward God went from anger, doubt, and resentment to trust, praise, and gratitude.  I will never be the same.