eWell July 22, 2009

"Anxious" by Lindsey Naitove

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There are many things that I struggle with. Anxiousness, however, has never really been one of my struggles...until now. I'm usually pretty laid back and just go with the flow, but lately, I'm anxious about everything from school, to work, to relationships, to the future, and the list of things that keep me up at night worrying only grows. It's like there's a little energizer bunny running around inside my brain that won't shut down. I continually hear, "Lindsey, you just have to put your faith in God and trust that He will get you through anything." I know it is said with good intentions, and I have said this to others many times myself, but for the record, it's much easier said than done.

I often tell myself that everybody worries and stresses over things; it's a part of being human. The only problem with this way of thinking is that being anxiety is a sin. When I become anxious, I'm pretty much telling God that whatever it is that I am dealing with at the moment is just too big for Him. What a slap in God's face! Where in the world do I get off thinking my problems are bigger than the One who created me? Not only do I play down God's greatness, but I completely shut Him out of my life when I rely on myself, and trust me, it's not pretty. I might as well say, "God, I don't trust you."

It's amazing to me when I finally get to the point of realization that I can't handle it all on my own. I think deep down I know I will eventually have to surrender it all to God, but I tend to be quite stubborn, so I wait until the breaking point. It always happens this way. I take it all upon myself, then BAM! I am humbled, and all I can do is fall on my knees before the Lord and ask for His forgiveness. It sucks to say that sadly, this has become a regular routine in my life, but I'm working on it.

The truth is, God wants to be fully involved in our lives, including the hard times. I don't think He gets any pleasure out of watching me pull out my hair over something that's, well let's face it, not even worth being anxious over. I pray that one day I will finally get it and stop playing this tug-of-war with God. He is ALWAYS going to win!

There is no need to be anxious. God is sovereign, and He is control. He grants us peace if we allow Him. It's my challenge to myself and to everyone to stop taking it upon ourselves to control everything in this life that doesn't even matter, and allow God to consume our hearts and minds so that we can give Him all the glory.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7