eWell June 24, 2009

"Thoughts from the Pastor's Wife" by Krissie Inserra

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Confession time: my walk isn't exactly matching my talk. No, I don't have a secret life where I'm cussing at my family, getting drunk every night, and kicking puppies. It's worse.

I'm living a very safe version of Christianity.

While it's true that I attend (and helped to start) a church that doesn't have Baptist (or "church" for that matter) in it's name, which is very dangerous in some circles, sometimes that's the extent of it. Sure, I have friends that aren't Christians... but I have a hard time telling them about Christ because I don't want to make the friendship "awkward." I talk to my neighbors on a regular basis... again, not always about Christ because I don't want to be that "weird neighbor." I go to church every week and try to sit with people I don't know. I lead a small group (go twentysomething ladies!) and love each and every one of those ladies very much.

But my life is safe.

This isn't necessarily a bad thing. I'm forever grateful that I don't live in a country where I fear that my husband will be killed for preaching or I will be killed for worshiping God. But I see the faith of people who live like that and their immense hunger for God and I'm ashamed of my weakness and lack of hunger.

But what does it look like to really press and follow hard after Christ? Especially in a country as prosperous as America. I tithe and feel good about it, but on the way home from church I see a homeless man on the side of the road. I can't give him my money because I need it for my after-church dinner.

Dean and I feel very strongly about putting Tommy in the public school system in Leon County because it's a dark place. Should we stay in our neighborhood with the awesome school zones or move to an area of town that isn't so saturated with churches and youth groups? And more importantly, how do I, as a stay-at-home mom, model to Tommy what following Christ really looks like? I don't want him to think Christians are simply people who don't drink, don't smoke, don't cuss, and don't hang out with people who do.

It might be something as simple as just allowing Tommy to see the messiness that is real life. I don't want to hide him from reality. People sin. They don't know God. And those of us that do know God still sin. And sin destroys lives.

I might follow hard after Christ by volunteering to help people who are in down-and-out situations. Not so that I can pat myself on the back for helping them but so that I can genuinely love them as God loves me. And glorify Him by making His name known.

I might even go overseas (or right here in Tallahassee) and feed the hungry, clothe the naked, and love the unlovable.

But I have to do something.