 When are you most vulnerable to failure..(A) when you've achieved the promotion you've been seeking or (B) when someone else gets the promotion. If you said (B), surprisingly it is just the opposite...you are most vulnerable to failure after a significant accomplishment. Why? It's due to what I refer to as our Arrival Pattern.. and for most of us it's a behavior we fail to notice. Arriving without a new direction, objective, goal or purpose becomes the beginning of the end as our rapidly changing world won't allow us to stay as we are. Observe others or stop and look inward after your next great achievement and see if you note the following: protecting the status quo, defensiveness when given feedback, feeling of lack of control, righteousness and more. At the point when others attempt to intercede, they find their energy drained almost immediately.
There are four keys to avoid this pattern and live the life you were meant to live.
First, it is critically important to separate goal achievements/immediate gratification from your definition of success. Focusing on goal achievement without knowing what ultimate success means to you leads to burnout, or a sense of is this all there is? Think of goal setting as a form of rock climbing. Your goals are the crevices you reach for on your climb with the top of the rock representing success. Lasting and true success is associated with creating and/or contributing as opposed to consumption and gain. It's about how you feel, versus what you possess. Consider for a moment what's at the top of your rock.
Secondly, clarify and view the top of your rock as your life purpose. Ask yourself why am I here? I believe the two most important days of your life are the day you were born and the day you discover why you were born. Have you experienced that second day?
Thirdly, view the rock climb or your life as your instrument of learning. It's a unique way of experiencing life with events becoming lessons for learning. Utilize these lessons to find out more about yourself and who you are becoming as you continue to reach for the next crevice.
Fourthly, you need to view relationships in a new and different way. It's about healthy relationships as opposed to long-term relationships. Consensus, conflict avoidance, and commonalities are patterns that contribute little to healthy long-term relationships and even less to successful rock-climbing. The appropriate relationship requires you to be accountable, and to cause others to become accountable through a process of challenge, conflict (different points of view), and confrontation. So take time to reevaluate your focus and your relationships, and remember each day brings you new choices with endless possibilities.
So again when are you most vulnerable to failure...
Decide if your focus is on short-term success or if you are using the eyes of the rock climber. The rock climber's clarity of purpose will allow you to pay attention to your short-term goals while keeping your focus, your eagle's eye, on the top of your rock. .
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This article is part of the SURVE Series on Transformational Transition - T2
Transformation: to transform one's self, and/or an entire organization is to become more of who you are becoming by simply relating and responding to life in ways that are healthy, accepting, forgiving, and wise...
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