Last week I sat with one of my patients who was once a professional athelete. He came to me initially because he was in love with a woman and all was perfect except for the sex.
When he called me, he said, "Dr. Runels, I'm going to see her next weekend, if the sex isn't better, I'm afraid we're going to break up."
The relationship did not work, she broke up with him very soon after he and I had our first meeting.
He considered quiting the program but I encouraged him to stay with me a little longer and consider making himself as healthy as possible as the best way to deal with the disappointment of the breakup.
If you read Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman, in one of the verses he reveals that whole classic book of poems (which some consider divinely inspired) came becasue he was dealing with the pain of lost love. In the same way, I have know patients who have taken pain and used that negative energy as motivation to train their body very hard.
Watch the movie Forest Gump again. Do you remember how he wanted to commit suicide? He was going to run himself to death.
The author of that book lives close to me. I saw him recently at the Grand Hotel swimming pool near our home and told him that I thought he put into Forest's mouth some of the best medical advice ever given. Most depressed people become self destructive by drinking, watching TV, over eating. But not Forrest, he tried to destroy himself by doing something that caused pain but actually led to his becoming healthier (in mind and in body).
Some people with borderline personality will sit down and self mutilate when depresed or out of controll. I've seen them come into the emergency room with multiple cuts on arms and legs where they hurt their own body and tortured it.
Please never forget this: if you want to commit suicide, or if you just feel self destructive because of depression--walk or run yourself to death: there's a good chance that just like with Gump, before you kill yourself, you will feel well again, you'll look up, and you'll have people inspired by you, and you will be healthier than you were before you were hut.
This strategy worked for me when I suffered through a 27 (that's twenty seven) month divorce battle; it worked for Whitman when he wrote Leaves of Grass; it worked for Forest Gump; and it worked for my patient that was the professional athelete (once the stud...but then developing trouble keeping a relationship in tact because of sexual problems).
Last week when I met with this same man, he told me that he literally kept his new lover up all night long. She told him that she had never had sex like that before in her life (a woman in her 40's who wasn't out on her first date).
He told me, "I used to see a gorgeous woman, and she would come on to me, and I would feel hesitant to talk with her. I'm well built and attractive, having competed successfully as a professional athelete...I give a striking appearance. But, I didn't want to face the potential embarassment of not peforming well. Now, I'm very confident and feel free to respond and consider a relationship with a woman."
Keep in mind, in spite of his physique, this man is not a playboy. He's been a good father (raising his children with little help from their mother), is divorced, wants to be married again, but was still living a lonely life and fearful of exploring the women he thought might make a good wife because of his fear of the bedroom. I helped him work through the plan in my book, Anytime, and now mental, phycial, and spiritual health are all soaring.
Last week my book on how to improve sexual function in men was the #1 best selling sex manual on Amazon. The book continues to do well exactly because it tells how to start at a deeper level of health and work back up to excellent sexual function (rather than focus on sexual function and ignore the dependence of good sex on good spiritual, physical, and mental health).
I wrote this note to ask you to do two things that i think would be of help to you and your family (good sex does help keep families together).
FIRST: If you don't have my book yet, here's a link to purchase my book and receive a free copy of my CD, The #1 Weight Loss Secret
SECOND: Watch this video (by clicking on the link below) where a prominent urologist exands upon the idea of good health leading to good sexual function (most cardiologists agree now that if a man suffers with weak erections, he should check out his heart because a weak erection could be an early sign of coronary aretery disease).