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Greetings! 

 

If you are new to the Kort Report, I welcome you to my newsletter. If you have already been a subscriber then I thank you for remaining interested in the work I do.

  

Happy New Year!!

 

Last month , the mayor of Troy, Michigan, Janice Daniels was held accountable for a homophobic statement she made on Facebook. She said, "I think I am going to throw away my I love New York carrying bag now that queers can get married there." See article here http://troy.patch.com/articles/facebook-gay-marriage.

 

It caught my attention for a number of reasons. First I am a watchdog for homophobia, second it made national news, third I live in Michigan and fourth my sister lives there with her 4 children and Troy is a place where I spend a lot of my time as a result of caring for and about my niece and nephews. The births of my nephews and niece brought me into a world of children that I never imagined would change my life forever. I love them as my own children and I have grown to love Troy, Michigan as well.

 

I am a very active uncle in that ever since my first nephew was born 14 1/2 years ago, I attended many of his school events and have continued to do so for each new nephew and niece. I always worried about discomfort of teachers and if they discovered my being gay and being around their children. I am from the generation where gays were equated with pedophiles and still live with that worry that another parent will be concerned that as a gay man I want to "recruit" their child. Coming out is a lifelong process and here I was in the closet once again--or so I thought.

 

As out as I am and as outspoken as I am, I never came out in any of their settings. I didn't have to because my nephews and niece outed me themselves! I discovered as my second nephew entered Kindergarten that he informed his teachers that I was his gay uncle. My third nephew found it novel to tell all the class and teachers that I was gay and that I kissed a boy, my husband Mike. And my niece also has enjoyed telling her teachers and classmates that I am gay.

 

The parents and teachers in Troy have been nothing but kind to me and accepting. I stopped hiding the fact that I was married to a man and began openly talking about my husband Mike. When I enter my niece and nephews classrooms the teachers and classmates know me as the favorite uncle JoJo. I am referred to as Uncle JoJo because my oldest nephew stuttered when he first started to speak and called me that and it has stuck ever since.

 

Back to the story of this homophobic mayor, her apology was nothing of the sort. She stated she was sorry for using an "unfortunate word" such as "queer" but that she still believe that marriage is between one man and one women. Her stance on gay marriage was not invited nor in question. Her gay bashing comment was what she needed to focus on. She was wrong.

 

I was outraged and planned to attend a city council meeting in Troy to speak with along with others about her gay bashing comment. I am glad I did not go as I would have been too angry and not have done as eloquent of a job as these lesbian moms did here as you will see in this video from that evening.

 

Lesbian moms address Troy, Michigan Mayor, Janice Daniels at a city council meeting about the mayor's derogatory comment that she posted on Facebook stating that she will 'now have to throw away her I Love NY carrying bag now that queers can get married there'. This family's message to the mayor, "Love is the ONLY answer."
http://youtu.be/Qj8YauXLik8

 

Center for Relationship and Sexual Health
Group Therapy Openings

  

We have openings in the following groups at the

Center for Relationship and Sexual Health

 

Men's Group Therapy
Mondays 5:30 to 7:30
http://crsh.com/mens-sexuality-group-therapy

 

Women's Group Therapy
Mondays 10:30 to 12:00
http://crsh.com/womens-group-therapy

 

Gay Men's Group Therapy
Tuesdays 5:30 to 7:30
http://crsh.com/gay-mens-group-therapy

 

Partners of Sex Addicts
BEGINS January 31, 2012
Tuesdays 6-7:30PM
6 week Psychoeducational group
http://crsh.com/partners-of-sex-addicts-group-therapy

 

If you have questions about how group therapy works, please click here http://www.joekort.com/faq.htm#group and read the frequently asked questions.

 

Still have questions?  Give us a call at 248-399-7447

Ask the Expert

 

Dr. Joe answers question on male sexual abuse at www.malesurvivor.org

 

 

I'm a very happily married 42 yr old and I have recently come clean to my wife about my abuse, I'm a very open guy when it comes to most things but I nevr talked to a soul my whole life about my abuse.


I was molested and an attempt to rape me was made as a young male until the age of about 12, I thought I had buried those memories along time ago, but as time went on in life and the abuse stopped, I had some experiences in my teens and later that have made me very nervous about my "manhood"


When i was in my late teens I was in a mens steam room and got very aroused when I noticed another man in there with me was also very aroused, I did not go any further. As I got older my wife and I had some marriage problems and I strayed from my vows and had a one night fling with a woman, then as time went on I started to become interested in a male encounter, so for some unknown reason I went on Craigslist and found a nervous, bi man who was married and pursued a texting sort of relationship with this guy acting out a sort of fantasy.


I have since been caught by my wife for both, we have decided to work on our marriage instead of giving up and since has been really good, great in fact.


But I cant help but wonder because of my abuse do I have a tendancy to look for a bisexual fantasy, cause I'm not attracted to men in anyway except in a taboo sexual way and even then it's scary as hell.


Thanks for listening

 

Read Dr. Kort's response here.

 

------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello Sex Doc,
I got one issue to ask you about (hope that I can talk openly);


its about pattern of sexuality that arouses me when I watch some porn sites and masturbate. I go to usual sites that is well known, nothing special, but the kind of videos I search and watch got some features and characteristic that arouses me more, and I think that they aren't quite good. See, I think that everything's got the thing with power, overpowering, blackmailing, extortion, controlling of every second of the moment, position, dammit...


I am a nice and quiet guy, but this is worrying me.
When I search for some porn videos, there are videos where both partners enjoy sex, smiling at each other, make fun of it, simply enjoy doing it, but that is not arousing me. I search for some scenarios where a female is tricked, manipulated or blackmailed into the sex. For example, one video is a bank robbery, a scenario where a few bank robbers take scared female workers and sexually exploit them threatening to them with the gun, so they would do everything they ask them. I'm not interested in physical hurting the female, but... I don't know what is it, some kind of excessive need for control. But then, if it is that, why it has to be through my sexuality?


Of course that this is only my imagination, but I desperately need an explanation for it so I can move further, into pleasuring and fun sexual contacts.


Can you give me some insights?
Thanks a lot in advance 

 

Read Dr. Kort's response here.

 
Upcoming Talks and Trainings  

 

 

Sex on the Download: Caught in the Cyberweb---Pain, Compulsion and Crisis.


2.5 CE's. Sunday, January 29, 2012 at 12:30 (meet and greet) 1:00-3:30 (lecture). 


http://www.joekort.com/sex_on_the_download.htm


The lecture will be an AASECT fundraiser. All the money for your AASECT.


CEs will be contributed to AASECT.  The talk takes place at the School of Social Work in the Educational Conference Center, first floor. This building is located at 1080 S. University, University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, MI 48109.


Parking is free on the streets and in the public structures on Sundays.

 

********************************************************************

 

Psychotherapy Networker Symposium
Two Workshops presented by Dr. Joe Kort


Wednesday, March 21st - Sunday, March 25th, 2012
Washington, DC.

 


 
Sex Addiction
After nearly 30 years of batting about terms like sexual addiction and sexual compulsivity to describe out-of-control sexual behavior, the panel for DSM-5 is considering formally recognizing hypersexual disorder. Yet therapists generally remain confused about the different behaviors that distinguish hypersexuality.
Read more here http://www.joekort.com/talks.htm


Myth or Reality: Is Bisexuality Real?
Bisexuality can be misunderstood by both gays (who sometimes perceive bisexuals as trying to maintain heterosexual privileges by keeping one foot in that world) and straights (who often view bisexuals as postponing coming out as gay). Numerous, contradictory research studies and theories about the prevalence, definition, and even the existence of bisexuality only add to the confusion.
Read more about this workshop here http://www.joekort.com/talks.htm 
- - - - - - - - - - -  - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Understanding your Sexual Fantasies and Behaviors
A Workshop for Gay & Bisexual Men


February 24-26, 2012


There are nonsexual reasons that we are aroused by certain things and not by others. Like emotional intelligence, your erotic intelligence can tell you a lot about yourself. You will learn how to understand the meaning of your sexuality through the theatre of your erotic mind. Understanding this erotic intelligence will help you develop a deeper understanding of yourself and the men to whom you are attracted.
For more information go to http://www.rowecenter.org/events.php?event=58  

 
Warmly,
 
Joe Kort, Ph.D.
Joe Publicity 2011

Joe Kort, Ph.D, MA, LMSW, ACSW

25600 Woodward Ave  |  Suite 218  |  Royal Oak, MI  |  48067

248.399.7317  |  joekort@joekort.com