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Mic Austen, Psychotherapist in London, England
I was invited to present workshops for therapists working with clients dealing with issues of Internet Infidelity, gay men on sex, love and intimacy and lesbian and gay couples. The invitation came from Mic Austin, a therapist in England who is very good. I was able to get to know her over the four days of workshops and we learned a lot from each other. I highly recommend her as a therapist in the communities she serves.
If you live in London, England and you need a good therapist I highly recommend Mic Austin http://www.macounselling.co.uk/ |
Read Joe's latest advice column from MTV's website 365gay.com
I dress in drag and fantasize about men am I gay?
Read Dr. Joe's response here.
How can I reignite the passion in my relationship?
Read Dr. Joe's response here.
My boyfriend is a Mama's Boy.
Listen to Dr. Joe on video here. |
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Also online now are Joe's answers for men who have been sexually abused and their partners:
As a survivor, I don't feel I fit in anywhere!
I feel like I don't fit in anywhere! I am a Male survivor of rape, abuse and molestation. It started at age 6 to 14. I don't feel like I can relate sexually to a woman and I don't feel attraction towards other men. I actually feel like sex is a foreign country to me. I've learned to shut out and shut down. My question is: Is it possible to love and be loved even if I feel so damaged? Without going into too much detail, I just feel dead sexually/emotionally/physically, when in reality, it is supposed to be totally human and enjoyable!
Read Dr. Joe's response here.
High Sex Drive or Compulsivity
I am a healthy 49 year old man who was abused from 11 to about 13 years old by an adult man in my community.
I recently (1 month) let my secret out to myself, my family, therapist and pastor. I am married (strained marriage for a few years), father of 2 grown children and have 1 grandchild. Some of my most pressing issues that I discovered relating to my CSA were negative feelings about myself, shame, emotional neediness, a very high sex drive (really obsessive, which I think had to do with my equating sex with love), compulsive masturbation (at least once a day, frequently more)and the feeling of never being able to not be in control or relax. A few weeks ago I experienced what I'm told was a Eureka moment after which I felt a profound sense of relief and weight being lifted of my soul. I realized today that I haven't felt the urge to, and haven't masturbated in almost 3 weeks. I was wondering if it is normal for a change like that to occur so suddenly? Have you ever run into a situation like that before?
Read Dr. Joe's response here.
Partner in recovery
I am a male survivor who has done over 3 years of recovery. Before the therapy, I had many one-night stands and looked at porn often. I have been to two WoR and am now in a stable place with both my sexuality and my addiction.
I am with a steady partner who is just amazing. I have problems connecting with him during sex. When we are having it, I often have to resort to fantasy, or I have very retarded ejaculation (he goes very fast). I am wondering what I can do to make the sex pleasurable, connected, and non-traumatic. Any ideas?
Read Dr. Joe's response here.
Male Sexual Abuse Survivor and Porn
I'm a MSS and I'm gay. I went to therapy for two years and I feel very confident about myself now. However, I started a relationship 4 months ago with a wonderful man: he's super special, he cares about me and he has been very supportive about my past. At the beginning, the sexual chemistry was incredible but lately I have changed. I have always watched gay porn and my sex energy has been always good. For him, this is a huge deal and he was very offended to find out I was watching porn while dating him.
At some point, his sexual energy was too much for me and I felt offended. I felt he was only looking for sex. He want sex at least 3 times each week. I told him I was feeling like a sex toy! I must add, his penis size is bigger than the average so penetration is always painful. Maybe this is why I prefer looking at porn???
I'm confused because I know he is not trying to abuse me but I get mixed feeling about sex with him.
Read Dr. Joe's response here |
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Ladies and Gentleman: Joe-prah!
And if you missed it, read my tongue-in-cheek article about how I dealt with my obsession with Oprah Winfrey here:
http://www.yourtango.com/experts/dr-joe-kort/ladies-and-gentleman-joe-prah-1 |
