Kort's Korner
November, 2009
Joe Kort professional photo 2009

Joe Kort & Associates
25600 Woodward, suite 218
Royal Oak, Michigan 48067


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Related websites:
Straight Guise
Gay Affirmative Therapy
Joe's online PRODUCTS


Tessa Fall

Can you find the dog???

Fall is my absolute favorite time of year. This picture is of my Welsh Terrier, Tessa, in the Michigan leaves on our walk. Nothing better to clear my head than to take this precious unconditionally loving sweet daughter on a nice walk on a sunny and clear Michigan fall day!!

I recently did a teleclass on the topic of sexual arousal titled, Why Does That Arouse Me? and had an amazing turnout of of 30 callers. I have recorded the teleclass and am now selling it at my website for purchase. If you want to know more about the class scroll down and read it in this newsletter.

Today, sexual addiction and compulsivity is what chemical dependency was over 40 years ago--something to be hidden and something to be ashamed about. Dr. Drew is hosting and facilitating a show called, Sex Rehab which dramatizes the problems sex addicts have in their lives. While there exist debates on whether hypersexual and compulsive sexual behavior is an addiction or not, the truth is that 6% of the population suffer from out of control sexual behavior and deserve help. Read more in this newsletter below. 

Keeping with the sexological nature of this newsletter I have included my latest 365gay.com Ask the Expert question with my answer available at 365gay.com

Enjoy the rest of Fall and have a wonderful Thanksgiving!!!

Joe Kort, LMSW
Why Does THAT Arouse me?

Fee: $15.00 Click here to purchase the audio. You will then receive the password to the page for download in an email including reading references.
All sexual fantasies are healthy. There are some that should never be acted on because they might be putting the person who has them or someone else at risk. I don't believe there's any pathology in our sexual fantasies or desires. Instead, I see them as a positive story about ourselves that's trying to be told. Learning what the nonsexual meanings of our fantasies are can be very helpful.
For example, you might have a fantasy of being dominated and spanked. There's nothing wrong with that fantasy and there's nothing wrong with doing it. But what I would want to help someone do is explore why they have that fantasy. Not in a negative way but in a positive way. My question is, "What does that mean about you?"
Kort learned the benefit of helping people explore the origins of their fantasies through years of work with men who are addicted to sex and from those who have been sexually abused. By "cracking the erotic code" and learning the narrative of what the sexual desires mean can help you feel better about your sexuality and learn more about yourself.
Learn the hidden meanings behind what turns you on.

Fee: $15.00 Click here to purchase the audio. You will then receive the password to the page for download in an email including reading references.

Gay Couple
Ask the Expert: "I still crave sex - but not with my partner. Should we end it?"
How do you know if it is really time to get out of a relationship? Many years ago, I thought I was entering it for the right reason, but maybe I just wanted the white picket fence. I now have comfort, companionship, mutual friends and a "couple's life," but I stopped finding my partner attractive. The sex evaporated long ago. I still crave passion and sex, but just don't want it with my partner.
Online, I have met someone new; we have chatted and phoned for months-and despite our having never physically met, I'm in romantic love with him. He offers the spark that I've been missing. Should I leave and go for this missing self actualization, or try to repair a relationship that is only 80% there, knowing that my heart does not feel the same passion?
-Spark Plugged

To read my answer click here at 365gay.com
 Joe's Calendar of Events

Psychotherapy Networker Symposium
March 25-28, 2010

MaleSurvivor's 12th International Conference
New York 2010

March 18-21, 2010

For more information about Joe's upcoming talks at these organizations and conferences
click HERE


Reclaiming the Man in the Mirror
January 22-24, 2010

Rowe Camp & Conference Center
Go to www.rowecenter.org and click on calendar of events and click on Gay men: Sex, Love & Intimacy to register

Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew on VH1

Whether you believe that sex can be an addiction or not I highly recommend watching this reality show.

The first time we  heard about excessive sexual behavior in the clinical literature was in a book from 1886 by Krafft-Ebbing called, PSYCHOPATHIA SEXUALIS

.....[Sexual desire is increased] to such an extent that it permeates all his thoughts and feelings allowing of no other aims in life, tumultuously, and in a rut-like fashion demanding gratification without granting the possibility of moral and righteous counter-presentations, and resolving itself into an impulsive insatiable succession of sexual enjoyment... This pathological sexuality is a dreadful scrouge for its victim, for he is in constant danger of violating the laws of the state and of morality, of losing his honour, his freedom, and even his life. (Krafft-Ebbing, 1886)
While it is true that we know a lot more than we did over 120 years ago about those with compulsive sexual behavior, we still have a long way to go. And we do know one thing--that it does exist.

If you want to dialogue about this come and talk on my Facebook page and let me know what you think.

Want to know about sexual addiction and compulsivity? Click here to find out.
A colleague of mine Dr. John Beiter, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, recently developed a communications tool to help couples and individuals understand the psychology of their sexuality in a way that is fun, informative and insightful.  The anonymous 90 question survey is offered free of charge, and can be accessed at www.BSPItest.com.  The BSPIŠ was developed to help one understand their own sexual preferences in their relationships and provide a comfortable means for openly discussing one's sexuality.
Joe's Books
If you are interested in purchasing any of these books you can click on any one of them above or go to  my website and purchase autographed copies from me personally.

I welcome any and all reviewers to rate my books on amazon.com. Please consider doing this for me if you found the books helpful in any way.