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Kort's Korner
November, 2009 |
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Joe Kort & Associates
25600 Woodward, suite 218
Royal Oak, Michigan 48067 |
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Greetings!
Can you find the dog???
Fall is my absolute favorite time of year. This picture is of my Welsh Terrier, Tessa, in the Michigan leaves on our walk. Nothing better to clear my head than to take this precious unconditionally loving sweet daughter on a nice walk on a sunny and clear Michigan fall day!!
I recently did a teleclass on the topic of sexual arousal titled, Why Does That Arouse Me? and had an amazing turnout of of 30 callers. I have recorded the teleclass and am now selling it at my website for purchase. If you want to know more about the class scroll down and read it in this newsletter.
Today, sexual addiction and compulsivity is what chemical dependency was over 40 years ago--something to be hidden and something to be ashamed about. Dr. Drew is hosting and facilitating a show called, Sex Rehab which dramatizes the problems sex addicts have in their lives. While there exist debates on whether hypersexual and compulsive sexual behavior is an addiction or not, the truth is that 6% of the population suffer from out of control sexual behavior and deserve help. Read more in this newsletter below.
Keeping with the sexological nature of this newsletter I have included my latest 365gay.com Ask the Expert question with my answer available at 365gay.com
Enjoy the rest of Fall and have a wonderful Thanksgiving!!!
Warmly,
Joe Kort, LMSW
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Why Does THAT Arouse me?
Fee: $15.00 Click here to purchase the audio. You will then receive the
password to the page for download in an email including reading references.
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All sexual fantasies are healthy.
There are some that should never be acted on because they might be putting the
person who has them or someone else at risk. I don't believe there's any
pathology in our sexual fantasies or desires. Instead, I see them as a positive
story about ourselves that's trying to be told. Learning what the nonsexual
meanings of our fantasies are can be very helpful.
For example, you might have a
fantasy of being dominated and spanked. There's nothing wrong with that
fantasy and there's nothing wrong with doing it. But what I would want to help
someone do is explore why they have that fantasy. Not in a negative way but in a
positive way. My question is, "What does that mean about you?"
Kort learned the benefit of helping
people explore the origins of their fantasies through years of work with men who
are addicted to sex and from those who have been sexually abused. By "cracking
the erotic code" and learning the narrative of what the sexual desires mean can
help you feel better about your sexuality and learn more about
yourself.
Learn the hidden meanings behind what turns you on.
Fee: $15.00 Click here to purchase the audio. You will then receive the
password to the page for download in an email including reading references.
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Ask the Expert: "I still crave sex - but not with my partner.
Should we end it?"
How do you know if it is really time to get out of a
relationship? Many years ago, I thought I was entering it for the right reason, but
maybe I just wanted the white picket fence. I now have comfort, companionship,
mutual friends and a "couple's life," but I stopped finding my partner
attractive. The sex evaporated long ago. I still crave passion and sex, but just
don't want it with my partner.
Online, I have met someone new; we have chatted and phoned for
months-and despite our having never physically met, I'm in romantic love with
him. He offers the spark that I've been missing. Should I leave and go for this
missing self actualization, or try to repair a relationship that is only 80%
there, knowing that my heart does not feel the same passion?
-Spark Plugged
To read my answer click here at 365gay.com |
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Joe's Calendar of Events
Psychotherapy Networker Symposium
March 25-28, 2010
MaleSurvivor's 12th International Conference
New
York 2010
March 18-21,
2010
For more information about Joe's upcoming talks at these organizations and conferences
click HERE
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Reclaiming the Man in the Mirror
January
22-24, 2010
Where:
Rowe Camp & Conference Center
Go to www.rowecenter.org and click on calendar of events and click on Gay men:
Sex, Love & Intimacy to register
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Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew on VH1
Whether you believe that sex can be an addiction or not I highly recommend watching this reality show.
The first time we heard about excessive sexual behavior in the clinical literature was in a book from 1886 by Krafft-Ebbing called, PSYCHOPATHIA SEXUALIS
.....[Sexual desire is increased] to such an extent that it
permeates all his thoughts and feelings allowing of no other aims in life,
tumultuously, and in a rut-like fashion demanding gratification without
granting the possibility of moral and righteous counter-presentations, and
resolving itself into an impulsive insatiable succession of sexual enjoyment... This
pathological sexuality is a dreadful scrouge for its victim, for he is in
constant danger of violating the laws of the state and of morality, of losing
his honour, his freedom, and even his life. (Krafft-Ebbing, 1886)
While it is true that we know a lot more than we did over 120 years ago about those with compulsive sexual behavior, we still have a long way to go. And we do know one thing--that it does exist.
If you want to dialogue about this come and talk on my Facebook page and let me know what you think.
Want to know about sexual addiction and compulsivity? Click here to find out.
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 A colleague of mine Dr. John Beiter, an AASECT
Certified Sex Therapist, recently developed a communications tool to help
couples and individuals understand the psychology of their sexuality in a way
that is fun, informative and insightful.
The anonymous 90 question survey is offered free of charge, and can be
accessed at www.BSPItest.com. The BSPIŠ
was developed to help one understand their own sexual preferences in their
relationships and provide a comfortable means for openly discussing one's
sexuality.
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