Dear ,
Happy October. I always joke that October includes the gay high holy day which is Halloween.
This month I bring you book titles and articles on the coming out process.
It is a fun time for Coming Out this month as we have many gay DIVA's releasing their CD's such as Barbra Striesand, Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston and Madonna's Greatest Hits.
Also Mattel announced a new celebrity doll BARBRA STREISAND!! As many of you know I have a collection
of celebrity dolls such as Diana Ross, Cher, Beyonce and others both at my office and my home and now here is my new one coming in November!!
And big news for me as a major Tony Orlando and Dawn Fan from the 1970's is that Joyce Vincent Wilson who comprised one of the members of Dawn is joining the singing group, "The Flos" which are the Former Ladies of the Supremes with Linda Lawrence and Sherrie Payne. Linda and Sherrie joined Diana Ross on the Diana Ross and The Supremes tour in 2000.
Anyway, I am a happy gay man this month and so will you be if you are chosen to come out this month!!!
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Joe Kort is now a Board Certified Sexologist! |
Last month I received my certification as a Board Certified Sexologist.
As many of you know my practice has been focused on sexual abuse and
sexual addiction. I have primarily focused on sexual problems such as sexual addiction and sexual abuse and not much on sexual health and what healthy sexual behavior looks like once a client is in recovery.
This
past year I have been in training to become a clinical sexologist to
provide individuals and couples healthy sexuality for themselves and
for their relationships.
Those certified by The American Board of Sexology are known as Diplomates.
ABS is dedicated to taking certification out of the area of subjectivity
to a process based on academic achievement, dedication to the discipline as
evidenced by scholarship, evidence of competence under supervision and the
empirical results of examination. Most Diplomates are clinicians-those
practicing in therapy and counseling.
What is Sex Therapy?
Sex
Therapy is the application of professional and ethical skills to deal with the
problems of sexual function of people. It assumes recognition of the concept
that sexuality is of legitimate concern to professionals and that it is the
right of individuals to expect expert knowledge when seeking remedies with
sexual concerns. Sex Therapists and Clinical Sexologists focus their specialized
skills to help individuals and/or couples to deal with their sexual concerns.
Now I add to my work the ability to help people achieve sexual health and
satisfaction. Issues I am now able treat to help folks with include:
Erectile
Difficulites Delayed Ejaculation Premature
Ejaculation Vaginusmus Male Sexual Health Female Sexual
Health Female Orgasmic Responses Male Orgasmic Responses Sexual and
reproductive anatomy and physiology Gender identity
issues-relationships. Medical aspects of sexuality and sexual
functions Diagnosis of sexual disorders/dysfunctions Treatment of sexual
disorders/dysfunctions Sex offenders, sexual abuse-diagnosis and
treatment Issues of aging in sexual relationships Paraphilias Sexually
transmitted diseases and prevention techniques
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Stages of Coming Out
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Vivienne C. Cass's Homosexuality
Identity Formation model (Cass,
1979) best reflects the stages I've observed in my clients. According to
her, the stages of identity formation are:
Stage 1: Identity Confusion
Stage 2: Identity Comparison
Stage 3: Identity Tolerance
Stage 4: Identity Acceptance
Stage 5: Identity Pride
Stage 6: Identity Synthesis
These stages are not necessarily linear or
consecutive. Many individuals go from stage 1 to 3 and back to 1, depending on
many factors, such as their personality and the circumstances in their lives.
Coming out is a process not an event. To read more about coming out here are some articles:
Stages of Coming Out
Why Clay Aiken's Coming Out Matters
18 Things To Consider Before Coming Out
Recommended Reading:
Books on Coming Out under the heading Books on Gays and Lesbians
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Article Headline
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Here are two articles of my responses from 365gay.com. I hope you might find them helpful.
How can I reignite the passion in my relationship? Question: How can I reignite the passion in my relationship? My partner and I
have been together 14 years, and I feel like we've become more like roommates
rather than partners. We enjoyed a healthy sex life early in our relationship,
but now we rarely have sex. I find myself thinking about other men and looking
at internet porn more and more often. Is there any hope for
us?
Sex Starved Gay Couple, MN
Read my response HERE
How do I communicate with my partner?
My husband of six years and I just don't communicate well! We have the
occasional unpleasant flare-up, but our bigger issue is simmering long-term
dissatisfactions. I'd like to blame it all on him, but I know it's a two-way
process.
We're both 50ish and have each had previous long-term relationships. He's
clearly uncomfortable-in fact, aggressively unwilling-to discuss any substantive
relationship issues. He habitually answers my question with a question-even if
I simply ask what he might like to do on any given day. He interrupts, talking
over what I say if he doesn't want to hear it. He pulls "facts" out of thin
air, adamantly refuses to check them, and will put words in my mouth, too!
I'm sure I can be accused of being a know-it-all, but it's hard to avoid
growing annoyed when I can't get a straight answer.
We do love each other and value our commitment to each other. He's great in
the crunches, while I'm good at faithful long-term support. But our day-to-day
desperately needs improvement, and I suspect our long-term relationship depends
on it. And, no . . . he's not willing to do relationship counseling, because
he doesn't see any problem!
Help. Please. And thank you.
-Dissatisfied in Beaverton
Read my response HERE
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Upcoming Presentations and Workshops
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Joe's Calendar of Events
TALKS
Psychotherapy Networker Symposium March 25-28, 2010
MaleSurvivor's Twelfth International Conference New
York 2010 March 18-21,
2010
For more information about these upcoming talks click HERE
WORKSHOPS
Reclaiming the Man in the Mirror
January
22-24, 2010
Rowe Camp & Conference Center Go to www.rowecenter.org and click on calendar of events and click on Gay men:
Sex, Love & Intimacy to register
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About Joe Kort, LMSW
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Joe Kort, LMSW provides individual, couples and group PSYCHOTHERAPY. He also provides COACHING over the telephone and skype for those unable to work with him in person. His specialties can be found by clicking HERE.
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