If the title of this chapter makes you uncomfortable all by itself, you might want to consider that this is an area of your overall wellness that might need some consideration. 
   Sex is rarely a neutral topic! In fact, most of the time it is a very loaded topic.  It isn't generally considered acceptable "polite" conversation, not ideal for mixed company or in the presence of children.  And yet, its presence in very public advertising of all kinds worms its way into our living rooms and our lives at every turn.  Throw politics and religion into the mix and its no wonder that there is a lot of emotion and confusion on this topic.  Let's try to set that aside for a bit and see how sex contributes to our overall wellbeing.
   Sex is an expression of Life Energy.  It is about preservation of Life.  In fact, a quote at the beginning of this chapter by J. Moose says, "Where would we be without sex?"  Indeed!  We would not be reading this column right now without sex.  We should be grateful! 
  Well-sex (as the book calls it) begins on a very personal level.  Our comfort with our own selves as sexual beings sets the stage for all the rest of our sexual interactions.  This includes our recognition and understanding of our physical bodies, how things work, what feels good to us - and what doesn't, how do we tend to the health of our bodies and who we are attracted to in a sexual way.  It has been said that our brain is our primary sex organ, and our mental and emotional ideas about our sexuality and sex in general adds another layer to our level of wellbeing in this regard. 
   Things we are told or experience about our bodies and about sex when we are very young can impact us for a lifetime.  We may learn that all of our physical body is wonderfully made, to be cared for and celebrated.  We may learn that parts of our bodies are not okay, are dirty, embarrassing or to be ignored.  Curiosity about the body may be encouraged or punished. 
   As we grow and reach puberty there are more opportunities to have conversations about what sexuality means as an adult.  As in childhood, there is a wide range of these conversations.  They may or may not include information on our physical health related to sex, sexual activities, responsibilities, morals and ethics.  So we each reach our sexual maturity with fully functioning physical bodies, but mental/emotional bodies that may contribute very differently to our state of well-sex.  We can imagine, then, that our own comfort level with our physical body and our belief systems is going to have an impact on our well-sex state when we decide to include other people in that type of relationship.
   Having our sexual energy as a positive partner in our overall wellbeing is worth working for.  As was said earlier, this energy is the energy of Life!  Some traditions use this energy in other than sexual ways; others honor it as a symbol of unity and love.  Becoming self-aware and discovering how to appreciate this energetic goodness of our bodies in a way that is compassionate and comfortable will enhance our overall wellbeing.
   As we model and teach our children about sex (or as we're learning and relearning about our own!), there are very clear physical health issues that need to be understood.  Sexually transmitted infections are on the rise.  These can range from annoying and painful to lethal.  Knowing about how these may be contracted, how to protect yourself, how to recognize symptoms and when to seek medical help is practical information. 
   The chance of pregnancy exists in every heterosexual sexual encounter.  Myths about this abound and need to be addressed.  Regardless of any given moral stance, understanding choices about sex and birth control is more practical information.
   Perhaps more challenging ideas to discover ourselves and share with children surround issues of responsibility.  In our society, sex is used in so many ways that tear down our well-sex state.  We see it trivialized on TV, used to sell everything from cars to toothpaste.  It is used to manipulate or control others, to gain favors.  We hear stories and polls and read articles about what everyone else is doing, feeling, and believing about sex, frequency, acrobatics, fidelity and compare our own activities to these mysterious others.  And in the very darker side of sex, we have the terror of abuse - of children and adults, in homes, schools, churches and on the streets.  These things do NOT contribute to a positive relationship with our sexual energy. 
   We have a responsibility to ourselves and to others to learn to establish boundaries that promote our wellbeing.  To learn to say yes and no to sexual behaviors in a positive way.  To protect ourselves and others from disease and unwanted pregnancies.  To honor our sexual being as a valuable, integral part of who we are.  When we can first be in a comfortable, safe and loving relationship with our own sexuality, then when we are ready to share that part with another, we may experience that Life Energy as a positive affirmation for all.  It's never too late.