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Prime House: Why Not? Park Av. Autumn
Dear Friends and Family,
We are tucked into a corner surrounded by a duo of rolling  black carts, giant wooden mixing bowls and house elves. It's a hell of a show for just $11. The smiling Caesar salad tosser asking how we feel about anchovies (yes). A dapper steak tartare mixologist blending quail eggs, capers and mustard into coarsely chopped filet. For the moment, it feels like there are more production numbers at Steve Hanson's new Prime House than some Broadway shows.
What can a critic hope to discover at a media-and-pals invitational scramble on those last few nights before a restaurant unlocks the door? You can learn what a restaurant hopes to be, though you can't predict if it will attain the goal or how long the kitchen will be as careful as it is right now. A full platoon of BRGuest's top corporate brass roams the rather formal room tonight.
I even spy Barry Sternlicht of Starwood Capital, who recently bought half of Hanson's company for $158 million. He really deserves tonight's free ride. The space is vast and black, rather like a bank with marble walls and retro dining chairs. It might be an outright yawn it weren't for the handsome black and cream pattern of the floor. The Yabu Pushelberg design picks up more sizzle in a smaller back room.
Certainly the chance to make a freebie sweep through a costly menu is disarming. Or so the house hopes. In this case our host is a longtime friend (mea culpa) and I'm already compromised (although I do try for equal opportunity meanness.) I'm as eager as any trigger-happy blogger, media gossipeaste or incurable carnivore to explore Steve Hanson's idea of a prime time steakhouse.
Gotta give the guy credit. This is his second big bow of the month. Fiamma already feels like a hit. He stands out from the crowd by owning his own bull and presumably inseminating his own sirloin. Actually he shares the sperm of a $250,000 Black Angus hunk with Chef David Burke, former partner in a Chicago steak house. If Hanson weren't so contentedly married, I would introduce him to Sale Johnson, an equine semen broker, imagine the small talk.
Tonight I learn you have to get to "friends and family" earlyish if you want a $49 chilled Seafood Chrysler pyramid for your table. The kitchen has only allotted so many for the evening. And the house is out of sirloin.
"Excuse me, is this a New York steak house?" I ask the slightly tentative blond server who seems a bit whiplashed by my rudeness. Next day, Hanson explains: "Everyone would order the raw bar Chrysler and the sirloin and we want you to taste the rest of the menu. Other steaks are more difficult to get right."
How greedy we are. I'm embarrassed at four of us ordering five appetizers and six sides, not that I hesitate. That's a friends and family syndrome too. Unabashed greed.
 The good news is that a Steve Hanson steak house isn't afraid to be classic. The Caesar is a triumph, crisp and garlicky, macerated anchovy optional. A crab cake is nothing but plump gorgeous lumps barely bound together, making the fried crab dished up alongside a bit redundant if not overdressed. You must admire the coarsely hand-chopped filet in your tableside tartar even though it's strangely bland. I could happily make a meal of just these classic, unfussed-up sides - nicely sticky and crusty mac'n'cheese, old fashioned hash browns, creamed spinach, sensational corn pudding, a tower of onion rings impaled on a wooden spike. Bread looking like bagels, but softer, also comes on a spike. I'd sacrifice the cleverness for better bread although you may well ask, who has room for bread?
Tonight the $46 Kentucky rib eye has more flavor and better texture than the Kansas City sirloin and the $42 "unrack" of lamb is even better. You can check out next month's dinner through the window of the aging room below. Expensive? Well, its prime cow. Steak fans will not be surprised by cuts of beef and veal, ranging from $29 for a hanger steak to $49 for that Kansas City cut. Of course this is 2007 and a chop house does not neglect fish. I ask for my skate rarish. It comes fragrant with brown butter; raisins and chanterelles scattered across frisee salad alongside.
If eating too much makes you hungry, you'll have to have dessert. "A slice of prime" is a huge, slightly too sweet seven-layer cake. Fill your own box of doughnuts with custard or jam. Or share the trio of mini- pies.
I plan to return with the Road Food Warrior when he gets back from Aspen. We'll share the Caesar, of course, and the corn pudding. And I'm not sure what is wrong with me but I might have to have mac'n'cheese too. I'll eat two ounces of his steak. Paying the bill with my own credit card will tell me ultimately how much I love Prime House.
381 Park Avenue South at 27th Street.212 824 2600
Upper West Side Volcano
The restaurant scene on the Upper West Side is a bubbling Volcano. How hot is it?  When Alain Ducasse is out mining investors to finance Benoit in the abandoned space that was La Cote Basque he came to Compass owner Lewis Pell, That's how Westside. That's how hot. What did Pell tell Alain? Read it in BITE: My Journal.
Intrepid Pals Cast a Vote for Toloache
You might think it would be a lark to get on a restaurant critic's invitation list. Well, not quite. Imagine the duds I visit. Imagine the heartbreak, the heartburn, the dried out lamb shanks, the muddy stews, the overcooked birds my pals endure on treks to the far edges of civilization.
So you could feel spirits rise on the night we discovered Toloache, and it wasn't just the potent margaritas or the first pass at a surprisingly good trio of guacamoles. An ambitious chef/partner has put a lot of thought and sweet hospitality into this inviting duplex at 251 West 50th Street, not far from Broadway. See my InsatiableCritic column in New York Magazine today and visit InsatiableCritic.com
Park Avenue Autumn Turns Copper
It's already bittersweet branches and turn-leaf brown aprons at Park Avenue Autumn. I fell in love with chef Craig Koketsu's cooking at Park Avenue Summer. Now I'm recommending his luscious wild quail and venison chops (that don't really need pomegranate and pumpkin seeds unless you insist every item wear a fall tag.) Vegetables creatively tweaked and Katemoss -thin potato pancakes to share are wonderful too. That's warm pumpkin and molasses cake by star pastry chef Richard Leech in the photo.
News Bulletin on the War to Stifle "Enjoy"
At The Laundry in East Hampton one recent Sunday night - appetizer size ribs were a nicely naughty way to end the weekend I thought - sweet, fat and salt on one plate.
"That's one," I said as the waiter brought our wine and exhorted us to "enjoy."
"One what?" my friend asked.
"One 'enjoy.' The waiter said, 'enjoy.' It makes me crazy."
"That's two," I said, as he put down dinner with another cherry command.
He looked at me and backed away.
And that was the last one of the evening, I'm pleased to say. Perhaps that was the last "enjoy" of his life.
I only allow one per meal before snapping.
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