October 11, 2007
Bedroom Blues.
TBar Steak Stakes, Life after Ramsey.
Dear Friends and Family,
"the BEDROOM has replaced the KITCHEN as the NUCLEUS of their home," the ad above declares. This pronouncement from Baker furniture in this past Sunday's New York Times Design Magazine (10/7/07) disturbs me.
Alas, there is nothing the least bit sensuous, much less sexual, about this new communal gathering spot, this alleged new heart of the home. Work and silent communication have stifled erotic impulses in this bedroom. He with his hunky stubble and CaryGrantesque dimpled chin is asleep, sculpted body naked to a point that just barely challenges decency, his laptop tilted possibly by an erection but more likely not, as she is fully dressed in executive-worthy grey, absorbed in her cell phone or is that an Ipod? Her computer waits open at her feet.
Why are these two gorgeous people not even touching? Did he doze off in a post-orgasmic euphoria (obviously not from sex with this tightly sheathed woman)? Perhaps after voyeuring an orgy on some porn site? Or was he exhausted from avatar play in an attempt to escape his boredom? Or by a catastrophic intergalactic cyber battle which he won...or lost? Does it matter?
I weep to think America is giving up kitchen coziness for this sadly sterile anti-erotic bedroom. I remember the sensuous '80s when the kitchen was an erogenous zone too.
The Days Grow Shorter and Cooler, and Warmer
Is it the moment for venison and pumpkin pie? Marathoners are keeling over in the heat of Chicago and summer is lazy taking leave of Manhattan. But as more chefs make a public roar of market menus, local products,sustainable, homegrown and seasonal, there was the inevitable race to be the first to proclaim autumn. Guess who won?
Hedging Bets at T-Bar
When I heard Tony Fortuna was turning Lenox Room into TBar Steak & Lounge, I figured he must be in a mid-life crisis. Yet another steak house? Would his loyal geriatric early-birds with their compromised arteries desert him? "The landlord doubled my rent," he told a longtime regular who stopped by to check out the new menu. "So I had to find a way to boost the check average." The new raw bar items will add muscle to his bottom line too. "I'm going to miss those little tasting dishes on the tiered platters," my friend the Lenox Room habitué told me.
"I got the parents in the dining room and the kids at the bar," Fortuna noted. "Now I got to roll the kids into the dining room."
I was definitely not expecting standing room only last Thursday when we spied the new awning and pushed through the swinging door -- that's new too -- 15 minutes early for our 8:15 reservation. I liked not being recognized but of course was annoyed there wasn't an empty table in the house. The long narrow room with its quiet corner on an elevated alcove looked the same, but vaguely different. The carpet was gone, in its place a new wood floor. No wonder it seemed so noisy. Soon the new table tops will arrive and tablecloths will disappear. Etched glass appears to be a theme.
The bar/lounge has definitely seized its corner, grown, possibly doubled. Tonight's mating moves play out under the roar of fans screaming for their team. The game. The game. There is always a game. (I once lived with a man who didn't care about any team. It was so refreshing. Alas, he had a few bad habits to offset that charming aberration.)
It's no cinch to turn out a seriously good steak, even with the new $17,000 broiler Fortuna moved in. But tonight's 24 ounce rib-eye ($42) is first rate, smartly caramelized, full of flavor, enough for two. And a thick $28 Berkshire pork chop, not as pink as I might have preferred, is surprisingly juicy and delicious, better than a rather ordinary cut of grilled salmon alongside unshelled soy beans. A chopped salad and the blue cheese escarole wedge are pleasant enough, but I'm really wild about the aggressive flavor and exceptional crunch of the treviso salad - endive, radicchio, white anchovy and Parmagiano shards.
A good-sized Gianonne chicken is judiciously cooked too -- when a dark meat aficionado is talking that means even the breast meat was edible. If stuffing is what you like about Thanksgiving, you'll succumb to the chicken's savory sage dressing, with or without a few sweet morsels from half a roasted garlic bulb. Indeed, garlic on the half shell is on most every dish.
In a rational moment of adult sanity, we decide to order a dessert to share, just as two waiters begin setting a spoon and fork at each place swiftly followed by three gift desserts along with Tony himself: "I apologize I didn't recognize you before," he says. The Road Food Warrior normally doesn't crave sweets but can't resist the splendid lemon cheesecake with pineapple-rum glaze. Meanwhile, inspired by two outsize crystal bowls -- one a chocolate sundae with molten brownie, the other layered banana parfait mille feuilles, the rest of us veer totally out of control.
By the way, Fortuna has found a jewel in manager Datza Kikovic, who emigrated from Orsay uptown. Her charm and energy quickly quenches narcissistic tantrums. When we point out that our three glasses of wine are not on the bill, she explains. "I always offer a glass of wine when we keep someone waiting." That's a tonic I approve. I believed her and we accepted the gift.
For all you upper east siders constantly complaining about the lack of good places good to eat: Here it is.
Department of What Can I Say?
Michelin NYC has just given two stars (out of a possible three) to Gordon Ramsey at the London in Times Square. Did some miracle happen, a miracle of the loaves and foie gras? Did the drowsy kitchen most local critics spanked months ago wake up while the chef from hell was criss-crossing America coaching notoriously lame restaurants to shape up in his latest video outing, Kitchen Nightmares? Guess I'll have to check this out.
I also just learned Ramsey will spawn himself at the Trianon Palace & Spa in Versailles in February 2008. Will he linger in Versailles for more than four days after the restaurant actually opens? Or will he jet off to mogul-star duties as he did four days after opening in New York? We may find out if the French critics are easier to fool than New York's.
Yes, there is Life after Gordon Ramsey
When the Chef from Hell finally dropped out of the jet stream and wandered into his kitchen at the London Hotel on West 54th Street to see why it wasn't the instant wow he assumed it would be, it was Chef de Cuisine Neil Ferguson who got sliced by trigger-tempered Ramsey.
Now Ferguson has settled into a new home, Allen & Delancey-- a shabby chic little haven on the lower east side of patchwork gentrification, a not unlikely spot for his second act, a tale of riches to rags. 115 Allen Street. 212 253 5300. Watch for a first tasting in BITE. And discover what it's like at Prime House NYC when you're NOT a guest at a friends and family freebie.
