Together with You
Building Safe, Stable and Nurturing
Families and Communities
for both Our Present and Our Future
   
 
        December 2009
 
 "Sometimes the cookies you give away taste the best."
-from Raising Charitable Children, by Carol Weisman 2006
 
 
Dear Friends: 
This holiday season, we hope you will consider a donation to the New Hampshire Children's Trust Fund.
 
"When you care about things and nurture them, they will grow healthy, strong and happy, and in turn, will make the world a better place"

In this newsletter you will find stories and ideas for inspiring your family to make a difference in the lives of others. 
 
Since my children entered kindergarten, they have been given an allowance.  Each week, they are given the same amount as the grade they are in.  Currently my high school son gets $9 and my middle school son gets $7.  It is their responsibility to divide up their money between spending, saving and charity. 
 
Every few months, we make a trip to the bank to deposit their savings and search for charities that match their values and interests.  This month, my older son chose to support child abuse prevention, substance abuse prevention and our church.  My younger son, who wants to help everyone, supported the above plus a youth agency and a food bank.  
 
Perhaps you have a story you'd like to share with us.  Mail it along with your year-end gift to New Hampshire Children's Trust Fund.
 
 
In 2008, nearly 1,200 New Hampshire children were victims of substantiated physical, sexual, or emotional abuse or neglect by a household member.  Sobering figures, to say the least---and thousands more go unreported.
 
Some of the worst adult health problems in the nation can be linked to the toxic stress resulting from adverse experiences in childhood, (Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACA) Study by Vincent J. Felitti, MD, 1998).  The consequences of allowing children to be abused and neglected are clear, measurable and have negative results not only for the individual but for our entire society.  The latest data on sexual abuse trends reveals that one in four girls and one in seven boys will be the victim of some type of sexual abuse or assault before age 18.  An abused child is more likely to wind up a delinquent teen, a sick adult, or a parent who may continue the cycle of abuse. 
 
With compassion and generosity, you can help save a child from being harmed and a family from being torn apart. You can be part of a larger community working together to ensure that all our children are given the opportunity to live in safe, stable, nurturing homes and communities.  
  
Happy Holidays,
 
Keryn
 
P.S.   100% of your gift stays in NH to strengthen families and keep children safe.

 

 

 

"Giving can provide purpose.  Giving can connect us to our values and our community.  In giving we define who we are.  We are people who honor our traditions.  We are people making an impact ...whether you give a lot or a little, when you join the community of donors-to traditional, conservative or progressive philanthropy-you join millions of other Americans who make charitable gifts and support nonprofit work as a way to express their caring and commitment to one another
and the world."
 

2009
Board of Trustees
 
 
Deborah Chase, Gilmanton
Melissa Correia, Vice Chair, Manchester  
Senator Peggy Gilmour,RN, Hollis
Representative Anne Grassie, Rochester
Courtney H.G. Herz, Esq., Secretary, Hopkinton
Peirce Hunter, M.D., Chair, Bow
Kristina Ickes, MBA, Candia
Audrey Knight, MSN,RN, Hopkinton
Senator Bette Lasky, Nashua
Representative Betsy McKinney, Treasurer, Londonderry
Lauren Noether, Senior Assistant Attorney General, 
Concord 
Malcolm Smith, PhD, CFLE, Durham
Brenda Tibbetts, Colebrook
 
 
Staff
 
Keryn Bernard-Kriegl, MS,
Executive Director
Diane Hastings, MS,
Special Projects Director 
Karen Ryan, MEd,
Program Director
Julie Day, BA,
Parent Advocacy Director
Valerie Quinn, BA,
Administrative Assistant
Bob MacGowan,
Volunteer
Shana Potvin,
Volunteer

NHCTF Nav bar
 
December
featured links

Volunteer NH

 
 
 
 
 
United Way of the Greater Seacoast Holiday Giving and Volunteering guide 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Gratitude and Generosity:
Toward Prevention and Hope
By Alyssa Azotea, MS
  
As I wait for the first snow to fall, I think about the laughter of children that will ring in my ears, the warmth of hot chocolate, and the beauty of icicles hanging from branches. I am thankful for these moments, and for the ability to enjoy these simple pleasures. Within the freedom to feel such gratitude, there is also sadness for those who cannot enjoy these moments. Such is the mother who does not know if she will be able to feed her child one morning, or the father who wraps his arms around his baby, trying to keep him warm because he could not afford heat this month. 
 
The increase in poverty and homelessness has been linked to increases in child abuse and neglect (Manahan & Quade, 1990). The pain and frustration, coupled with increased stress and lack of resources, is a risk factor for child abuse. Every child deserves to live feeling safe and secure, without hunger or pain, with laughter and hope. Reducing poverty and homelessness is a protective factor, a way to work toward the prevention of child abuse and neglect. 
 
It is important to focus on child abuse prevention within the building of networks and an interconnected system of services for individuals. This is integral in the reinforcement of a parents' ability to care for their child ( Stagner & Lansing, 2009). As a community, we have the responsibility to come together and take care of these children. All children are our responsibility. 
 
Whether it is donating food to a local food pantry, wrapping presents for a child who otherwise would go without, or volunteering time in your child's school, giving of ourselves makes a difference. Generosity is one piece of the puzzle of prevention. It is within the moments of generosity that we learn true compassion for those who are not as fortunate, for those who feel frustration and pain from poverty, and are reaching out to be heard. In looking for a way to prevent child abuse and neglect, there is no simple answer. However, through our own generosity, we may be a part of building a network, of strengthening one family, of giving hope to just one child. 
 
References:
 
Manahan, J. & Quade, V. (1990). Child abuse on the rise, study shows. Human Rights: Journal of the Section of Individual Rights and Responsibilities, 17(2), p.7.
 
Stagner, M. & Lansing, J. (2009). Progress toward a prevention perspective. Future of Children, 19(2), 19-38.
                    
Cheryl Bourassa
2009 Unsung Hero

Cheryl Bourassa was a recipient of the New Hampshire Trust Fund's 2009 Unsung Hero Award for the dedication she shows to her family and to the refugee families in Concord.  

 
Over the holidays many of us like to hear stories of good will.  Cheryl is a perfect example of this.  Cheryl is always finding ways to offer opportunities not only to her own children but to several refugee families.  In a recent interview we spoke to Cheryl about her family.  She explained that Jenita, her adopted daughter, truly struggles with feeling securely attached in her new family.  In addition to coaching her daughter Jenna's Destination Imagination team, Cheryl is dedicated to getting her adopted daughter Jenita the support she needs to work through issues.  Cheryl is always seeking out education and advice so she has a better understanding of these issues. 

Cheryl Bourassa

Cheryl works closely with Casey Family Services to try to find strategies to ease Jenita's concerns.  She has tried to find the best possible educational setting for both of her girls.  Their academic needs are quite different, and both require lots of attention to make sure that their classroom is meeting their needs.

Cheryl went on to tell us that, as a parent, it is most important for her children to grow up with a social conscience and to understand that we are not on this journey alone, and we have a responsibility to do our fair share to make our community - both local and global - a better place for all. 

As the Holidays are fast approaching we often feel the need to help those in our community.  Cheryl stumbled into working with refugees almost by accident. When she left teaching to be home with her girls, she knew if she ever went back to teaching it would be with a population that truly wanted to learn. 

Cheryl decided to volunteer through Second Start's Adult tutorial program, and met a lovely woman from Liberia who had never learned to read.  That began a path toward meeting many more families.  What struck her in all of the women was their absolute resiliency: they thrived through adversity that could (and does) sink many. She thought:  "What a perfect model for my own children - to know that you can be dealt a harsh hand, and yet you can come out smiling."  Cheryl has been so moved by their understanding that we all are mutually dependant.  As Americans, we have self reliance pounded into us, but all of the families she knows understand that none of us can ever be fully self reliant in all situations. The Bourassa's model how easy it is to give and receive help. 

The Bourassa's adopted daughter, Jenita, is a Mayan Indian, living in a predominantly white community.  She is acutely aware that she doesn't 'fit.'  With her friends in the refugee community, she is just one more child of color, and it helps her feel connected. 

Cheryl and her family have found it comforting to spend time with other parents struggling with the same issues. The Unitarian Universalist Church has created a group called Friends of Refugees.  They offer significant support to four refugee families. One family is working to be reunited with a child that was left behind in Africa, almost five years ago.  The process is dreadfully expensive, and the group has raised over $3,000 to help defray legal expenses.  Cheryl is also associated with Concord Multicultural, an umbrella organization that tries to coordinate services for refugee families. 

It is clear why Cheryl was selected as an Unsung Hero in 2009.  Her generosity and passion truly comes from the heart, she is a shining example of the spirit of the season. 
  

 
Philanthropy starts at home
by Shana Potvin, volunteer NHCTF 
 
"What children need most is the
warmth that comes with
giving more than receiving."
 
                                        -from The Giving Book by Ellen Sabin
During this time of year it can be easy to get caught up in the frenzy to buy, buy, buy.  While doing your part to fuel the economic recovery, keep in mind the opportunities to send a message of philanthropy to your children.  Focusing on gratitude and generosity during this season can send a lasting message that will help you to raise caring, generous kids.  As parents, we are the most powerful role models that our kids have.  Showing them how they can give back to the community and help those less fortunate will leave a lasting impression on not only themselves, but the community as a whole.  As you go through your daily routine, find ways that you can give back and involve your children in this process.

Children learn to be philanthropic by example and experience.  By giving of themselves children can learn self worth, the power of one person contributing, and how to value their own situation.  At the beginning of the year I brought my daughter (then 6 years old) to New Horizons Soup Kitchen in Manchester to help.  We only stayed for an hour or so and our task was just to prepare napkins and silverware, but the lessons that she learned will stay with her for life.  Before going there she had no concept of those less fortunate, now she has a reference point when I remind her that there are people that do not have food to eat.

Another way to show giving is to clean out your closets with your children.  Keep a box handy to put the toys and clothes you are no longer using to give to your local Salvation Army, Goodwill, or Families in TransitionThese nonprofits accept drop off donations and can be found close to home.   

This holiday season, pick a few ways to "do good" with your family.  Give your child a few coins to drop into the Salvation Army kettle, buy an extra blanket or set of sheets for a place like Bridges, drop a new toy off for Toys for Tots, or your local Child Advocacy CenterThere are many ways that you can donate, the point is that you need to do it, and make a point of involving your children in the process.  You can search for volunteer opportunities throughout the state online and search other giving opportunities on your local United Way website.  Cash donations to the New Hampshire Children's Trust Fund are put to good use throughout the year by funding initiatives throughout the state that support healthy children and families.
 
Yesterday my daughter came home from school with a note from her teacher explaining a classroom project about "Caring, Sharing, and Giving".  They are asking that, in lieu of teacher gifts, the children all earn some money at home ($2 suggestion) by helping around the house with chores.  This money will then be donated to the Santa Fund and used to purchase items for someone in need this holiday season.   It is small but intentional things like this that will instill gratitude and generosity in our children-teaching them that giving should not be a rarity, it should be the norm. 
 
 
Spend quality time volunteering as a family
 
 
The following is taken from the United Way website-
 
There are many proven benefits of family volunteering. Research has shown that volunteering as a family:
  • Helps families learn about social issues and provides a new perspective on the world 
  • Provides positive role models and passes on family values to children 
  • Provides new learning experiences and development of new skills for both children and adults 
  • Provides quality time for the family to spend together 
  • Increases interpersonal communication and the problem-solving abilities of family members 
  • Helps youth decide what they want to do with their life 
  • Improves the likelihood that children will volunteer as an adult
  • Kids feel great and have fun when they volunteer.
 
Other reasons why children should volunteer:
 
  • Volunteering enhances development. Volunteering can benefit a child's psychological, social and intellectual development.
  • Volunteering increases self-esteem, responsibility and an interest in learning and helps children develop new social skills. It also provides opportunities to apply newly learned material.
  • Volunteering promotes a healthy lifestyle and choices -- Children who volunteer are less likely to become involved in at-risk behaviors.
  • Volunteering teaches social responsibility - Volunteering helps children develop empathy and learn that one person can make a difference.
  • Volunteering creates a lifelong ethic of service. Individuals who volunteer as a child or who observed their parents volunteering have a much higher probability of being a volunteer in their adult years.  
  • Volunteering improves the community. Volunteer activities are essential for advancing the common good, and children can be part of the change. 
  
 
Nominate a Parent for the
2010 Unsung Hero Award!
February has been designated Parent Recognition Month in New Hampshire. To celebrate, the New Hampshire Children's Trust Fund is honoring 28 parents, one for each day of February, for the exceptional jobs they are doing as parents every hour of every day. 
  
This award is to honor parents throughout the state for the great things they are doing to strengthen their families and their communities. 
 
These outstanding parents use the five Protective Factors both at home and in the community:
  • Nurture and love their family
  • Understand their child's developmental stages
  • Know their stress level and what to do when they get upset.
  • Build community support systems with their family, friends and neighbors.
  • Join local community groups -PTO, book clubs or create their own group.
  • Know where they can go to get help with resources such as financial, housing and other resources to meet basic needs of their family and use and share this information with others.
     
    Do you know a parent in your community that is compassionate, caring,  patient and has a good sense of humor?  If so, please nominate them for this award.  Write a paragraph why you believe this person deserves this award. Click here for the nomination form.  This individual does not have to be a biological parent they can be a grandparent, aunt, uncle, foster or adoptive parent.  They need to show dedication and love for their family.  It could be through community or school efforts or at home.  
     
    View pictures here from the 2009 Unsung Hero ceremony held at the State House with Governor Lynch.

    Tracie D'Amico

     
  •  
     Learn how to advocate:

    Attend a workshop this month-learn how budgets are created

    Wednesday, Dec. 16th - How the Federal Budget Works
    6:30 - 8 p.m.   Claremont (location TBA)
     
    Knowing how the federal budget works is important to be an effective advocate for the issues you care about - join us to learn more about revenues, expenses, and how you can advocate for your budget priorities.  
    The workshop is free, and snacks will be provided. RSVP is required - please email ozink@nhcitizensalliance.org for more information and to let them know you are coming!
     
    Co-sponsored by Working Families Win.  If you are interested in co-hosting a workshop in your community, please email
    ozink@nhcitizensalliance.org.
     
     
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    Give the Gift that Gives Twice!

    ftd gingerbread houseftd Christmas bouquetThanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, Birthdays, Bereavement... 

    To Show You Care... When remembering loved ones with flowers or gift baskets, support child abuse prevention in New Hampshire through an ongoing FTD promotion.

     
    For more information click here:   Support child abuse prevention in New Hampshire.
     
     
    The New Hampshire Children's Trust Fund was established in 1986 by legislative statute RSA 169-C:39 to support programs in New Hampshire that work to prevent child abuse and neglect. Our focus is primary prevention initiatives that keep children safe and families strong. 
     
     
    The New Hampshire Children's Trust Fund believes that the most effective way to keep our children safe from abuse and neglect is to foster the development of strong families. The New Hampshire Children's Trust Fund advocates for positive change in both state and federal policies that effect children and families. 

     
    The New Hampshire Children's Trust Fund is the New Hampshire chapter of Prevent Child Abuse America.  
    PCA NH logo
     
    To find out more about our programs and partners, go to our website at www.nhctf.org