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"Courage is not the absence of fear.
It is going forward in the face of fear."
-Abraham Lincoln
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Dear Friends,
 This month we will focus on Family Violence and the impact on children.
Children who see violence at home are more likely to have many emotional and behavioral problems. Some become quiet and withdrawn, some may have nightmares and others may become aggressive towards others or even themselves. These initial problems may lead to problems in school or other social settings.
Boys are more likely to grow up to be men who hurt their wives and children and girls are more likely to grow up to be women with low self-esteem, and end up in abusive relationships.
Studies show that domestic "abuse occurs in 30-60 percent of family violence cases that involve families with children" (J.L. Edleson, "The overlap between child maltreatment and woman battering." Violence Against Women, February, 1999.) And that 50 percent of men who assault their wives also abuse their children (Pagelow, "The Forgotten Victims: Children of Domestic Violence," 1989).
It makes sense that as the leading child abuse prevention agency in the state, we educate and advocate for efforts to eliminate family violence and work with our partners in the field of family violence.
We have been meeting with thousands of New Hampshire residents to invite them to take action to keep children safe and families strong. We presented at the Relatives as Parents Conference, Early Learning New Hampshire Conference and the Family Support New Hampshire Annual Meeting. We're making the case that prevention works.
Hot off the press is Strengthening Families: The Impact of New Hampshire Family Support Programs, 2007-2009, funded by the NH Division of Children Youth and Families. We will be highlighting our findings in future e-newsletters and will post them on our web site.
New Hampshire's Family Support Program's efforts to reach out to diverse populations and fathers have been very successful. In 2009, male participation in programs increased by 5% and there was a 9% increase in participation by non-White/non-Hispanic than in 2007. Family Support programs know the value of participants serving everyone in their communities.
 This edition of our enewsletter was created by Shana Potvin, volunteer at NHCTF. Shana is completing her Bachelor's degree at Southern New Hampshire University, just got married, and is busy raising her amazing 7 year old daughter, who started 2nd grade this year at a brand new school. Shana plans to graduate in 2010 with a degree in social and political sciences. Shana has also assisted us with development and advocacy activities including our Parent Advocacy Day at the NH State House.
We are all in this together and together we can put an end to harming our children. Keep an eye out for our end of the year letter and consider making a donation of an hour's wage per month to the New Hampshire Children's Trust Fund. For example if you earn $10/hour your contribution would be $10/month or $120/ year. If you earn $100/hour your contribution would be $100/month or $1200/year. Can you spare an hour's wage to keep children safe?
I hope you have a wonderful month and take the time to appreciate the gifts in your life.
Namaste,
Keryn
Keryn Bernard-Kriegl, MS
Executive Director
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"Violence in a relationship is never justified"
-NH Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence |
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2009
Board of Trustees
Deborah Chase, Gilmanton
Melissa Correia, Vice Chair, Manchester
Senator Peggy Gilmour,RN, Hollis
Representative Anne Grassie, Rochester
Courtney H.G. Herz, Esq., Secretary, Hopkinton
Peirce Hunter, M.D., Chair, Bow
Kristina Ickes, MBA, Candia
Audrey Knight, MSN,RN, Hopkinton
Senator Bette Lasky, Nashua
Representative Betsy McKinney, Treasurer, Londonderry
Lauren Noether, Senior Assistant Attorney General,
Concord
Malcolm Smith, PhD, CFLE, Durham
Brenda Tibbetts, Colebrook
Staff
Keryn Bernard-Kriegl, MS,
Executive Director
Diane Hastings, MS,
Special Projects Director
Karen Ryan, MEd, Program DirectorJulie Day, BA, Parent Advocacy DirectorValerie Quinn, BA, Administrative Assistant
Bob MacGowan,
Volunteer
Shana Potvin,
Volunteer |
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Impact of Domestic Violence on Children
Fact: 15.5 million U.S. children live in families in which partner violence occurred at least once in the past year, and seven million children live in families in which severe partner violence occurred. (1)
All aspects of a child's life are affected when a child grows up in a violent home. Domestic violence can make children less likely to succeed in school, more likely to suffer and commit violence, and more likely to face a host of health problems that can last throughout their lives. While it is widely recognized that domestic violence can cause great harm to women, too little attention has been paid to the harm suffered by millions of children and youth exposed to domestic violence.
Current research indicates that domestic violence affects children and youth in a variety of ways and that the effects are both short and long term (Jaffe, Wolfe, and Wilson, 1990). Children may be physically, emotionally and cognitively damaged as a result of domestic violence.
The nature and extent of harm will vary depending primarily on three factors:
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The type and history of abusive control used by the perpetrator
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The age, gender and developmental stage of the child
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Situational factors, such as other social supports
The NH Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence is a statewide network of independent member programs committed to ending domestic and sexual violence. The member programs ensure that quality services are provided to victims/survivors of domestic and sexual violence and their children as well as preventing future violence by educating the public. One of our prevention efforts is a training called Safe Families, Safe Homes. We are working collaboratively with several statewide agencies to provide training to early childhood professionals on the co-occurrence of domestic violence, substance abuse and child abuse/neglect.
(1) McDonald, Renee, Ernest N. Jouriles, Suhasini Ramisetty-Mikler, et al. 2006. Estimating the Number of American Children Living in Partner-Violent Families. Journal of Family Psychology 20(1): 137-142.
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Focus on a Parent:
Tracie D'Amico, Unsung Hero
"My children are the most important thing in my life..." |
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Recently we interviewed Tracie D'Amico, one of the NHCTF 2009 recipients of the Unsung Hero Award.
Tracie, along with her six children, has gone through a very difficult and long journey to escape the suffering of a marriage plagued by domestic violence. After suffering through what would be her last beating, Tracie found the strength and courage to end her 12 year marriage and find relief for herself and her family. The courage to file for divorce and change her whole life, would lead her to another set of challenges. As Tracie journeyed in life of a single mother, she experienced health issues, foreclosure, and homelessness. As the family worked toward new stability, the behavioral problems that go along with all of these changes were yet another challenge for Tracie.
Tracie is an amazing woman who has done all she can to uplift her family and get them going in the right direction. Tracie has spoken up for her family and for what she needed to get back on the right track. She believes that "nobody knows your family better than yourself and what will work for one won't work for the whole family unit."
When asked "What have you done to advocate for your family?" Tracie states: "I have advocated for my family by speaking out in different ways-calling agencies around the state for answers and help when needed, writing letters and making phone calls to the President of the United States, writing articles for the local newspaper, reaching out to community agencies. I have worked with Head Start, Step Ahead, New Start, Partners in Health, and Genesis, to name a few. You have to speak up to get what you believe you need for yourself and for your children, and not what others think you need."
After Tracie lost her home to foreclosure, she and the family lived in their van for a number of weeks before being taken in by her family. While living with her family, Tracie was able to deal with numerous health issues and get some much needed time to heal. After a long wait she was able to find a place to call home for her family. Tracie was finally able to gain stability for her kids and address behavioral issues that had developed during the transition to a safe, stabile home. Tracie was able to effectively maneuver through various agencies to get the help she needed for her family. Head Start, Step Ahead, New Start, Partners in Health, and Genesis were among the agencies that were able to get Tracie and her family back on their feet.
When we asked Tracie "What is the one thing that is most important to you", she said, "To be able in even the hardest times and with the unknown future to be as happy as one can be, and that my children are kept as happy as possible with the least amount of upset in their day to day lives. To keep what you can stable-their happiness makes a difference in how they can cope with all the changes." She goes on to speak about the transition they have gone through: " We have made huge progress and the kids are pretty settled in their new area. They have made lots of new friends and are learning what it is like to live in a large family with just mom involved."
Tracie has gone beyond what most people would do to fight for her family and yet, when asked what it meant to her to receive the Unsung Hero Award in 2009 she states, "When I got the letter in the mail and read it, it brought tears to my eyes. I was so surprised that someone would think of me and do that for me. It meant that someone knew all I have been through in the last few years and everything I have done for my family, it was very gratifying."
When we asked Tracie "Is there something she could teach other parents that she had learned from her own experience", she stated "You never know how strong you are until your strength and faith are tested in every way possible. When you want to give up is when you need to pull out that little bit of strength left and fight and keep on going. The word "hope"-if you do not have hope in your life you have nothing. That single word is so powerful and one I hung onto tightly in the hardest and darkest times in my life. I also learned that things that mattered before and things I worried about before were not as important as they once were. I now live for today and don't worry about the past or the future like I used to. If that means skipping washing the floors and running around outside and playing with the kids for a few hours that is way more important and fulfilling for all of us."
One hundred years from now
It will not matter what kind of car I drove,
What kind of house I lived in,
How much money I had in my bank account,
Nor what my clothes looked like.
But one hundred years from now
The world may be a little better
Because I was important
In the life of a child.
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A Spotlight on a Family Support Program
NH Head Start and Early Head Start |
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 What You Might Like to Know About NH Head Start and Early Head Start
Did you know that Head Start is the most successful, longest-running national early childhood program in the United States? If not, you're not alone. Few are aware that the program is nearly 45 years old and previous graduates are among today's scientists, educators, lawyers and community leaders. And if, like one college student, you "heard about Head Start in the past, but never knew anything about the program," you may want to check out a publication from the Head Start State Collaboration Office. Growing and Learning in New Hampshire Head Start presents facts, figures and funding information regarding our state's programs, along with irresistible pictures of some beautiful faces you may encounter if you make a visit.
Facts At A Glance
¶ NH has six grantees that are located within Community Action Programs. All are funded directly and monitored by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Office of Head Start.
¶ Grantees administer 45 sites throughout the state and are funded to serve 1,632 children and their families at any given time. Actual enrollment can be much higher: in 2008, Head Start and Early Head Start programs served 2, 077 children (including 301 infants and toddlers) in 1,939 families. Programs also served 40 pregnant women.
¶ Head Start fosters strong partnerships with families and offers a wide array of services, such as parenting education, mental health services and emergency/crisis intervention (food, shelter, clothing).
Finally, Head Start works! Research has shown that Head Start and Early Head Start foster a number of important and lasting benefits for infants and toddlers, preschoolers and their families:
¶ Overall, Head Start and Early Head Start increase family self-efficiency, promote gains in children's learning and development, are associated with improved child health; and are cost-effective.
¶ Infants and toddlers in Early Head Start show an increase in cognitive and language development and attention during play. Early Head Start also promotes more positive parent/child interactions.
¶ Preschoolers demonstrate an increase in vocabulary and social/relational skills, fewer referrals to special education, and accelerated development in kindergarten. Their families are more involved in their children's learning.
¶ Compared with their peers who do not participate in the program, children who participate in Head Start or Early Head Start are more likely to graduate, attend college and earn higher wages, and are less likely to repeat a grade or become incarcerated.
In other words, Head Start actually does give a head start to families of young children facing poverty.
To learn more about the program:
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Domestic violence hurts children too |
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Many children who witness family violence have been found to have higher levels of behavioral and emotional problems than other children. The impact can vary according to their age, sex, and role in the family. Some children feel responsible for the violence. They may think they are making things easier by appearing to cope with the situation, by trying to be quieter, or by not saying how they feel.
While most children escape without physical injury they may bear emotional scars which in many cases can last a lifetime.
The effects on children who witness domestic violence may include:
- Feelings of fear, anger, depression, grief, shame, despair and distrust,
- A sense of powerlessness
- Physical reactions such as stomach cramps, headaches, sleeping and eating difficulties, frequent illness
- Slowed developmental capacities, poor school performance, low self- esteem, difficulty relating to peers
- Substance abuse
- Behavioral problems such as running away from home, aggressive language and behavior, acting out
- Learning that violence is a legitimate means for obtaining control of a situation or for resolving conflict.
What can we do for children?
- Accept that an abusive family environment harms children.
- Place the responsibility for the violence with the offending parent.
- Support the abused parent, which can improve his/her capacity to protect the children.
- Most importantly, children who witness family violence need to know they are not forgotten.
Ways you can help a child who has witnessed domestic violence include:
- Tell them that the violence is not their fault.
- Give them an opportunity to talk about the violence.
- Help make a safety plan which they can follow.
- Let them know that others have had similar experiences.
- Support and assist the abused parent to protect both her/himself and the children.
Crisis Centers are here to help. If you or someone you know is experiencing or has experienced domestic or sexual violence, you can contact the crisis center nearest you for information, referrals and support.
In emergency situations, call 911. In non-emergency situations, you can talk to an advocate at your local crisis center about your options. For domestic violence call toll-free 1-866-644-3574 to be connected to the crisis center nearest you. For sexual assault, call 1-800-277-5570 OR click on this map to find the crisis center nearest you in NH. |
Help us reach our Year End Appeal Goal...
...by making a donation to the New Hampshire Children's Trust Fund.
We gratefully accept one-time and ongoing donations by check or through Paypal. Your donation will be used to strengthen families and keep children safe.
Click one of the links to make a donation through PayPal by clicking on the NHCTF website or by check. Send it in honor of a special person in your life and we will send a card to that special someone acknowledging your gift.
Check your mail for our year end appeal, we will be sending it out in November.
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Give the Gift that Gives Twice!
An FTD Promotion to Prevent Child Abuse
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Birthdays, Anniversarys, Bereavement, Holidays...
  Remember the loved ones in your life by ordering flowers or gift baskets through an ongoing FTD promotion that will give 15% of your purchase to Prevent Child Abuse New Hampshire.
Click here to go directly to the FTD promotional website and support child abuse prevention in New Hampshire.
The NH Children's Trust Fund is the Prevent Child Abuse NH chapter |
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Who We Are
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The New Hampshire Children's Trust Fund was established in 1986 by legislative statute RSA 169-C:39 to support programs in New Hampshire that work to prevent child abuse and neglect. Our focus is primary prevention initiatives that keep children safe and families strong.
The New Hampshire Children's Trust Fund believes that the most effective way to keep our children safe from abuse and neglect is to foster the development of strong families. The New Hampshire Children's Trust Fund advocates for positive change in both state and federal policies that effect children and families.
The New Hampshire Children's Trust Fund is the New Hampshire chapter of Prevent Child Abuse America.
To find out more about our programs and partners, go to our website.
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New Hamphire Children's Trust Fund Prevent Child Abuse New Hampshire
10 Ferry Street, Suite 315
Concord, New Hampshire 03301
(603) 224-1279 | |
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