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Celebrating the Special Men in Our Lives This Father's Day
"A man never stands as tall as when he kneels to help a child."- Anonymous
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Dear Friends,
We are grateful to be living in a state that cares about our children.  We have met so many wonderful parents, grandparents, young adults and children in our short time as Executive Director and Board Chair at the NHCTF. We hope you got to tune into Keryn's first radio interview which aired on the Clear Channel stations on May 31.
At the New Hampshire Children's Trust Fund we plan to build relationships with all of our local media so we can increase awareness about the 8000 children per year who are suspected victims of child abuse, and the 400 children who are removed from their homes each year. We also want to increase awareness about the positive efforts in our state, such as the 28 parents who go above and beyond for their children and communities and are recognized by the Governor and NHCTF each February, and the 20+ Family Resource Centers and Family Support Programs that are available to all parents and caregivers for support, education and resources. Click here to find a program near you.
As the new Executive Director and Board Chair of the New Hampshire Children's Trust Fund and Prevent Child Abuse New Hampshire, we'd like to thank you for what you do in your daily life to keep children safe and families strong. As you know, this is our organization's mission as well. We envision a New Hampshire where all children can grow up in nurturing homes, caring neighborhoods and strong communities; free from violence, harm and exploitation. With your help, we can fulfill our mission and realize our vision. This enewsletter is being sent to you in honor of fathers.
Fathers can have a powerful and positive impact upon the development and health of children. Do you have a special father, grandfather, uncle, step father, foster father or "father figure" in your life? Are you or your husband (partner) that father now?
Studies show that children with involved, caring fathers:
· Have higher IQs, as well as better linguistic and cognitive
abilities
· Are more likely to be emotionally secure, be confident to
explore their surroundings, and, as they grow older, have
better social connections with peers
· Are less likely to get in trouble at home, school, or in the
neighborhood
· Have better educational outcomes
 This edition of our enewsletter was created and features an article, written by Diana Fernholz, intern at NHCTF, on fatherhood programs in New Hampshire. Diana just finished her freshman year at American University and will be with us for 5 weeks. She's going to spend the rest of her summer at the London School of Economics studying international democracy. She plans to graduate in 2012 with a degree in international economics and international studies. Diana has also assisted us with our development activities including putting together our spring appeal in honor of fathers. These letters should be arriving in mailboxes this week. You can also make a donation through our website. Just click on Donate now or pay by check. We hope you can give generously to help us honor fathers, support families and prevent child maltreatment.
Happy Father's Day!
Peirce Keryn
Peirce Hunter, MD Keryn Bernard-Kriegl, MS
P.S. On Mother's Day, I sent flowers to my mother and grandmother through the FTD Prevent Child Abuse NH promotion which donated 15% of the amount I spent to the NH Children's Trust Fund. On Father's Day, I will be making a direct donation to the New Hampshire Children's Trust Fund to say, "Thanks Dad!" Won't you join me and do the same? Keryn |
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2009
Board of Trustees
Deborah Chase, Gilmanton
Melissa Correia, Vice Chair, Manchester
Senator Peggy Gilmour, RN, Hollis
Representative Anne Grassie, Rochester
Courtney H.G. Herz, Esq., Secretary, Hopkinton
Peirce Hunter, M.D., Chair, Bow
Kristina Ickes, MBA, Candia
Audrey Knight, MSN,RN, Hopkinton
Senator Bette Lasky, Nashua
Representative Betsy McKinney, Treasurer, Londonderry
Lauren Noether, Senior Assistant Attorney General,
Concord
Malcolm Smith, PhD, CFLE, Durham
Brenda Tibbetts, Colebrook
Staff
Keryn Bernard-Kriegl, MS,
Executive Director
Diane Hastings, MS,
Special Projects Director
Karen Ryan, MEd,
Program Director
Julie Day, BA,
Parent Advocacy Director
Valerie Quinn, BA,
Administrative Assistant
Diana Fernholz, BA, candidate American University, Intern-Marketing/Development
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Three NH Family Resource Centers Focus on Dads
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In an age when the number of mothers who work is rising along with the number of single and stay at home dads, various family services in New Hampshire are taking up the call and offering more and more programs specifically geared towards fathers and fathering.
"We are just finishing up a Responsible Fatherhood Initiative Grant with Circle of Parents National Network of Parent Support Groups. Child and Family Services was awarded $20,000 to do training and technical assistance with three Parents as Teachers sites in New Hampshire who were each awarded a $50,000 grant," explains Joan Valk, a family support worker with Child and Family Services of New Hampshire.
Lisa Paone and a Nurturing Fathers class at the HUB
"Fathers need to know how important their role is in the lives of their children, especially in these days. There are not a lot of services offered focusing on fathers and fathering issues. There comes a time when fathers have to make intentional choices about what type of dads they want to be, as early as birth. There was a real need for these programs, as most programs have traditionally focused on the mother," says Jeff Drake, a parent educator at Mondanock Family Services.
As communities through out New Hampshire grow and change, the need for these services also grows. Since the acquisition of this grant, at least 112 fathers have taken advantage of these programs. The father support groups generally take place weekly, at or around each of the three sites. While guided by a coordinator, the meetings tend to run on a discussion-based format. Fathers have the option to bring their children and join in the family style meal provided. Then they can feel free to share or just listen as fathers discuss trials and joys of fatherhood. All fathers are welcome to the meetings, and a varied group attends at each site.Traditional fathers and intact families, as well as grandfathers, relatives as fathers, teen fathers and fathers working towards custody attend the discussion groups.
"This is a place for dads. They need dad-time, where they can leave their other roles behind. It's a free for all, dad facilitated dinner," says Marti Pacini, a parent educator at Good Beginnings.
"I try to make it a comfortable place for dads," adds Lisa Paone, the parent education manager at the HUB Family Resource Center. "There are posters about dads, reading information for dads, and I bring in guest speakers. The men I work with are like sponges, once they find what they are looking for, they just can't get enough."
In addition to the dad support groups, the three sites also hold Conscious Fathering classes for new and expectant fathers. The classes are generally three-hour workshops held on the weekends, more or less as demand requires. The class is a how-to for new dads, giving the basics of baby care. By the end of the event, fathers learn how to calm and swaddle a baby, in addition to things such as feeding and changing a newborn.
"We usually have a lot of fun with it. We use diapers, baby dolls, and other materials to make it realistic. It's a very hands-on class," says Drake.
Fathers attend the Conscious Fathering class at Monadnock Family Services
Nurturing Fathers in another dad centered class taught at the HUB. It's a thirteen week class taught yearly, where men can focus on how their fathers raised them, and what they would like to pass on to their children.
"It's important for fathers to look at how they were raised, and see how they feel about it. It's really about looking within themselves and seeing what they wish to change or keep for their children," explains Paone.
With these three programs, fathers learn how to reach and interact with their children in meaningful ways, from birth until well into adulthood. All three sites have had very positive feed back from both fathers and the community.
"Dads are really the ones who are excited about this program. They are the ones who really get more people interested, get their friends coming to the meetings," says Paone.
Pacini agrees, adding, "While we do have referrals coming from around the community, like pediatricians' offices, it's really the dad's who've already attended the meetings who are our biggest advocates."
While there still may be an imbalance in the number of programs offered for women rather than to men, these three sites around the state are taking initiative and finding that there is a need that is being fulfilled by focusing on the fathers.
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Seven Techniques of Effective Fathers
from
The US Department of Health and Human Services |
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The US Department of Health and Human Services has published a user's manual focused on fathering. In it, they list seven different techniques of effective fathers:
Foster a positive relationship with your children's mother
"A father who has a good relationship with the mother of their children is more likely to be involved and to spend time with their children and to have children who are psychologically and emotionally healthier." Children who experience a good relationship between parents are more likely to pass that on to their children, and are more likely to be happy and well adjusted.
Spend time with your children
A father spending time with his child is important for three different reasons. First, it allows the father and child get to know each other, learning about each other's interests and aspirations through activities as simple as washing the dishes or reading a book together. Second, it allows the father to be more familiar with his child's needs for love, direction and discipline. Finally, spending time with his child allows the father to show his love.
Nurture your children
This technique helps fathers build close relationships with their children, as well as foster good psychological well being and self-worth in their children. In addition, it gives children a good model of masculinity and "protects girls from prematurely seeking romantic attention of men."
Discipline your children appropriately
It is important for fathers to participate in discipline situations, but he must maintain control of his emotions, his body language, and his hands when he disciplines his children. Reminding children that there are consequences to their actions is a good place to start.
Serve as a guide to the outside world
Part of a father's role is to help children explore the world outside the home. As preschoolers and younger, children look to their fathers for vigorous play and encouragement towards autonomy. Adolescents need their fathers to be involved in daily activities such as meals, and to discuss important topics such as beliefs systems in every day conversations. Children also need fathers as guides to their communities by seeing their father's involvement in work and service experiences.
Protect and provide
Despite the changing roles of the modern family, there are ways that a father will always need to protect and provide for his children. In addition to the more obvious, such as providing financially, fathers can protect by child-proofing their home, and monitoring and controlling their children. Another simple way for a father to protect and provide is by knowing who his child's friends are.
Serve as a positive role model.
Being a role model both inside and out of the home is a difficult but necessary task for a father. Fathers should endorse the "mission" of a family by living the beliefs they promote, whether they be the value of hard work and effort or a particular religious belief. Fathers should also abide by the rules that they place on others in the family. A child follows more by example than anything else. Finally, fathers should admit their mistakes to their children, as this will show a relationship of mutual respect and teach the child how to act with others.
For more information or to read the full manual, click here. |
Happy Fathers' Day
Celebrate the special dads in your life...
...by making a donation to the New Hampshire Children's Trust Fund in honor or in memory of that special father in your life.
We gratefully accept one-time and ongoing donations by check or through Paypal. Your donation will be used to strengthen families and keep children safe.
Click the one of the links to make a donation through PayPal or by check, and we will send a card to that special father acknowledging your gift.
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Set Aside Some Father-Child Time This Fathers' Day
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In today's hectic times, with soccer games, gymnastics and late work meetings, everyone is finding it hard to join together as a family. Between carting kids between clubs and finding time to write up that big report, fathers often have a particularly difficult time creating a space when they can have some one on one time with their children. The following are some ideas to get you started:
Start a family tradition
Traditions hold a family together, and not just during the holiday season. Find some time with your family today to set up some dad and kid events on a regular basis. Have Dad cook a meal, such as a family breakfast on Saturdays. The kids can have fun getting involved by helping out.
Plan a date
Spending one on one time with your child is the best way to get to know them and their interests. Set aside a date in advance where just dad and child can go get involved in a shared interest. Going to a museum or catching a local game is just a simple way to bond and learn more about each other.
Read a book
 Setting aside time each day, such as right before bed time, to read a chapter or two of a book is a great time to relax with your child and create memories. This is also a good time to unwind and talk about your day, as well as enhancing their vocabulary and improving their literacy skills.
Any time that a father can find to spend with their child is a great place to start. By spending time with his child, the US Department of Health and Human Services has found that fathers will have children that have better verbal skills, intellectual function and higher academic achievement. Children who experience a good amount of father time also become more emotionally secure, have good social skills and are less likely to experience depression.
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Give the Gift that Gives Twice!
An FTD Promotion to Prevent Child Abuse
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  Birthdays, Graduation, Father's Day...
Remember the loved ones in your life by ordering flowers or gift baskets through an ongoing FTD promotion that will give 15% of your purchase to Prevent Child Abuse New Hampshire.
Click here to go directly to the FTD promotional website and support child abuse prevention in New Hampshire. The NH Children's Trust Fund is the Prevent Child Abuse NH chapter. |
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Who We Are
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The New Hampshire Children's Trust Fund was established in 1987 by legislative statute RSA 169-C:39 to support programs in New Hampshire that work to prevent child abuse and neglect. Our focus is primary prevention initiatives that keep children safe and families strong.
The New Hampshire Children's Trust Fund believes that the most effective way to keep our children safe from abuse and neglect is to foster the development of strong families. The New Hampshire Children's Trust Fund advocates for positive change in both state and federal policies that effect children and families.
The New Hampshire Children's Trust Fund is the New Hampshire chapter of Prevent Child Abuse America.
To find out more about our programs and partners, go to our website.
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New Hamphire Children's Trust Fund Prevent Child Abuse New Hampshire
10 Ferry Street, Suite 315
Concord, New Hampshire 03301
(603) 224-1279 | |
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