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The Season of Giving
December 2008
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| Dear Friends: |
So here we are in the midst of 'the' season, halfway between turkey or tofu day and, for many, Christmas. It's painfully obvious this year that some people have plenty and some others have plenty of problems and challenges.
In New Hampshire, we all know the spirit of community and giving--whether it's spring flooding, a summer tornado or a winter (ice) storm: people get to work, helping their neighbors, friends and family with plenty of love and lots of effort!
There's also plenty of stress, rushing around, wrapping, dodging traffic, and worrying about 2009: will the economy get worse? The President-elect says so. Is he right?
So whether you are fortunate not to have to go to the food bank for your holiday dinners, because your bank account is full, there are still important things to consider.
Some practical and secular advice comes from The Advent Conspiracy-- While it is from a Christian point of view, there is a message in there for all of us who participate in any form of holiday madness, no matter what your faith tradition with ways to combat materialism and consumerism of the season: buy less, but give more.
By buying less, we can decrease the stress on budgets, both now and for 2009; and by giving more, of the most important gifts, like time, attention, love and compassion, we can show our commitment to our family, friends and neighbors. One woman in Warner has told her children that she does not want gifts, but annually selects a NH charity that her children send a donation in her name to.
Some things we know about charitable giving: is there a gene? Or can we learn how to be generous, and more importantly, can we teach and encourage others? We hope that it is a combination of both.
Best wishes for a wonderful holiday season and for a great 2009: we know there will be plenty to do!
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Sincerely,
Karen Carpenter, Executive Director
New Hampshire Children's Trust Fund
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2008
Board of Trustees
Gail Barba, Concord
Deborah Chase, Gilmanton
Melissa Correia, Manchester
Janice Fitzpatrick, Candia
Senator Martha Fuller Clark, Portsmouth
Representative Anne Grassie, Rochester
Courtney H.G. Herz, Esq., Hopkinton
Peirce Hunter, M.D., Vice Chair, Bow
Kristina Ickes, Candia
Audrey Knight, MSN, RN, Hopkinton
Betsy McKinney, Board Treasurer, Londonderry
Representative Karen McRae, Board Secretary, Goffstown
Sandra Matheson, Hooksett
Lynne Bartlett Merrill, Board Chair, Kingston
Senator Sheila Roberge, Bedford
Brenda Tibbetts, Colebrook
Staff
Karen H. Carpenter, MA, JD
Executive Director
Diane Hastings, MS
Special Projects Director
Julie Day, BS
Parent Advocacy Director
Valerie Quinn, BA
Administrative Assistant |
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Lessons from Love, Laughter & Leadership
A Special Family Support New Hampshire Gathering
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| This week Family Support NH hosted a special gathering, welcoming former Vermont human services commissioner Cheryl Mitchell, to discuss 20 years of supporting families and children in Vermont. Her 'Lessons from Love, Laughter and Leadership' inspired NH's family support leaders. Both NH and Vermont have made real progress in prevention programs.
Cheryl cited the importance of creating environments of support, trust and love when helping families. NH's FSNH is a vibrant group of 40 providers who gather for peer learning, mutual support, and provide a supportive environment of learning, respecting and appreciating each others' work, and acknowledging service.
Two retiring members were honored and presented with gifts-Marilyn Jennato and Karen Carpenter. Another member, Madeline Ullrich, from Monadnock Family Services is resigning to pursue her painting interests, and spoke about how important the network had been to her.
Reports were also presented by Katie Brandt on DCYF data which showed that families completing their service plan did NOT re-enter the DCYF system NHCTF staff Karen Ryan and Karen Carpenter spoke on the protective factors data which strengthen families in key areas. Laura Collins from DHHS spoke about the changes at DHHS to improve access to services.
Marilyn Jennato of Child & Family Services of NH receives a snow globe as a parting gift from Family Support NH. Seen left to right: Laurie Hart, Concord Heights Neighborhood Family Center, Marilyn Jennato, Karen Ryan, NHCTF, Sharon Dalton, Adult Learning Center-Nashua, Lori Fowler, The Youth Council-Nashua, Beth Todgham, Southern NH Community Services
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Charitable Giving:
Is it Nature? |
Are you born to be generous?
Researchers at Hebrew University of Jerusalem conducted research which seems to point toward a generosity gene: AVPR1a. In a 2007 online study, participants were given a task where they could either keep or give away the money they were given.
Genetic tests showed that people with the so-called generosity gene gave away money at a rate that was 50% higher than those who didn't possess the AVPR1a gene. Read more of the BBC World News America article here.
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...Or Nurture? |
| The following excerpt is from Learning To Give:
Philanthropy Concepts for the Infant through Preschool Age Child
 From the very beginning, infants are shaping their view of the world and their place in it. A strong foundation of trust, built in a loving and caring environment, is the first step in philanthropy. At its most basic level, philanthropy is the love of mankind. During early years, children learn about love by being loved. They learn the role of rules in a community by having rules set at home. They learn about consequences, fairness, tolerance, altruism, justice, giving, sharing, and caring during their years in the most important community-the family.
- Family rules, the reasons for rules, and the consequences for obeying rules and breaking rules (these topics provide the basis for a mature understanding of the need for rules in the larger community)
- The fair application of rules and the idea of justice
- Sharing and being the recipient of sharing
- Learning to wait, appropriately, when other members of the family have needs that must be met
- Helping others around the house and having age-appropriate responsibilities (such as picking up toys before bedtime)
- Listening to others
- Preschool children can begin to learn the basic language of philanthropy: sharing, giving, loving, saying "thank you."
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Liberal? Conservative?
Religious? Secular?
In Charitable Giving Does It Matter?
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From the Chronicle of Philanthropy:
In the book Who Really Cares: The Surprising Truth About Compassionate Conservatism, economist Arthur C. Brooks finds that religious conservatives are far more charitable than secular liberals.
Brooks research found that in 2000, religious people gave about three and a half times as much as secular people - $2,210 versus $642. And even when religious giving is excluded from the numbers, Mr. Brooks found, religious people still give $88 more per year to nonreligious charities.
He writes that religious people are more likely than the nonreligious to volunteer for secular charitable activities, give blood, and return money when they are accidentally given too much change.
Most of the difference in giving among conservatives and liberals gets back to religion. Religious liberals give nearly as much as religious conservatives, Mr. Brooks found. And secular conservatives are even less generous than secular liberals.
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Giving to Others:
It's Good for Your Health and Happiness |
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Research abounds showing that people who give time, talent or treasure are more apt to be happy and content and less likely to suffer from minor depression.
University of Massachusetts Medical School professor, Carolyn Schwartz conducted research among individuals with multiple sclerosis to assess whether monthly peer-support phone calls would benefit those with the disease. Those receiving the supportive call appeared to gain some mild benefit, but "the real beneficiaries were those lending a supportive ear. In fact, those who offered support experienced dramatic improvements in their quality of life-several times more so than those they were helping."
This research extended to other control groups, as well, and the findings were the same. This type of research is nothing new. Similar studies done in the 1930's showed the same type of pattern, that "those who volunteered and engaged in other forms of giving when they were adolescents were much less likely to become depressed, even as they got older."
From the MSN website article: "Do Good, Feel Good."
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The Gift of a Debt-Free Holiday |
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Sue Watson from the Family Resource Center in Gorham has shared with us their holiday newsletter "Give Yourself the Gift of a Debt-Free Holiday: How to have a great holiday without going broke or into debt" which we have posted on the New Hampshire Children's Trust Fund website.
The newsletter is filled with terrific tips and ideas for saving money and making the season more stress-free and meaningful.
We have also posted their Holiday Spending Plan budget sheet; click here.
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Give Children the Gift of a "Share-Check"
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 The Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood has a downloadable CCFC Guide to Commercial-Free Holidays: Tips for Resisting Holiday Hype. Our favorite tip promotes the concept of nurturing altruism. Along with a gift to the child, give a "share-check" with everything filled-in except for the "pay to the order of." The child should give the check away to their favorite charity: a cause that they are passionate about.
This can be a wonderful activity for the child. You can take them to visit an animal shelter or a food bank or a family resource center! Let them go online and check out sites like Heifer International. Perhaps they want to spend the check for toys for a child whose name they have taken off of a "giving tree" (malls, churches, family resource centers often have "giving trees" this time of year).
The "share-check" is a great gift idea for your own children or grandchildren.
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100 Dollar Holiday
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 From an article by Bill McKibben, environmentalist and author:
If there's one way in which the world has changed more than any other since 1840, one thing that's truly different about our lives, it's that we've become such devout consumers. That consumption carries with it certain blessings (our lives are long and easy by any historical standard) and certain costs (first and foremost the damage it causes to the rest of creation).
But the greatest cost may be the way it's changed us, the way it has managed to confuse us about what we really want from the world.
We weren't built just for this life we find ourselves leading - we were built for silence and solitude, built for connection with each other and the natural world, built for so much more than we now settle for. Christmas is the moment to sense that, the moment to reach for the real joys.
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 Silent Listen
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Nominate a Parent for the Unsung Hero Award! |
February has been designated Parent Recognition Month in New Hampshire. To celebrate, the New Hampshire Children's Trust Fund is honoring 28 parents, one for each day of February, for the exceptional jobs they are doing as parents every hour of every day.
This award is to honor parents throughout the state for the great things they are doing to strengthen their families and their communities.
These outstanding parents use the five Protective Factors both at home and in the community:
Nurture and love their family
Understand their child's developmental stages
Know their stress level and what to do when they get upset.
Build community support systems with their family, friends and neighbors.
Join local community groups -PTO, book clubs or create their own group.
Know where they can go to get help with resources such as financial, housing and other resources to meet basic needs of their family and use and share this information with others.
Do you know a parent in your community that is compassionate, caring, patient and has a good sense of humor? If so, please nominate them for this award. Write a paragraph why you believe this person deserves this award. Click here for the nomination form. This individual does not have to be a biological parent they can be a grandparent, aunt, uncle, foster or adoptive parent. They need to show dedication and love for their family. It could be through community or school efforts or at home.
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Give the Gift that Gives Twice! |
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  Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, Birthdays, Bereavement...
To Show You Care... When remembering loved ones with flowers or gift baskets, support child abuse prevention in New Hampshire through an ongoing FTD promotion.
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The New Hampshire Children's Trust Fund was established in 1987 by legislative statute RSA 169-C:39 to support programs in New Hampshire that work to prevent child abuse and neglect. Our focus is primary prevention initiatives that keep children safe and families strong.
To find out more about our programs and partners, go to our website at www.nhctf.org
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