Yoga Bits
Morsels of yogic wisdom and information

 Aug. 6 - 12, 2012  

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Mirror, Mirror
That reflection can unlock a door

"
Instead of looking at someone and saying, 'Who are you?' look at them and say, 'Who am I?'" 
-- Guru Singh

I have felt very annoyed with one of my students lately.

He interrupts whatever is going on to ask me the same question every single class about the air conditioning. Each time my response is, "I have no control over the air in here. It's controlled by the building."

Looking Glass He then proceeds to huff and puff and make lots of unhappy noises which frequently disturb the other students. He eventually gets up and leaves, letting the door slam shut behind him. All this drama is after he ignores the sequence I'm teaching anyway and does his own breathing and poses.

Charming -- but of no real consequence. I have spent many dollars on teacher training to learn how not to take students reactions personally.
That day I felt realllllly bothered by it, which is unusual. While the remaining students were relaxing in savasana, I thought: The world is a mirror, so what am I seeing reflected back to me by this student?

I didn't take long fore me to realize that I was seeing all the times in my life that I asked the same question over and over, ignoring the answer given to me because I didn't like what I was hearing. His behavior also reminds me of the phase of my life when I wanted my feelings to be known, regardless of any one else's needs or comfort. I wanted things my way and when I didn't get them, I was personally offended and expected others to accommodate my wishes.

I'd say about 95 percent of the time I'm able to teach with this attitude of detachment followed by self-examination. Then there's the other five percent -- such as a recent experience where a student got under my skin. The details are unimportant, but let's just say her behavior was rude bordering on hostile. After class I burst into tears.

Sweet Budgie Bhajan I knew I was taking on her stuff and that it was not helpful but I couldn't stop myself. The very fact that I couldn't detach from it told me so much. After I got home and cried it out to Budgie Bhajan (my awesome little parakeet with a master's soul), I realized that my upset had nothing to do with the student. She was only a catalyst.  I was having a particularly difficult day with lots of vulnerable emotions surfacing. It was a challenge to even show up to teach that night and to then be met with such impatience and anger felt pretty crappy.

At that point I knew  two things: her attitude was her problem and my tears were mine. I still felt awful, but I didn't feel confused. Feeling so badly about the incident helped me realize that I needed to make some adjustments to practice better self-care at this time. And so I began immediately (albeit clumsily) seeking out support which led to delegating some tasks that I need not be obligated to while I'm dealing with some personal matters.

Now, if I go into another class and someone glares at me the entire time, I'm not saying I won't be upset. I'm not saying I will.

What I am saying is I will use my reaction as a measure of myself, not the other person -- and of all the possible ways to handle it, that one feels like the fairest of all.


 

Join me for yoga this week:
Home studio, North Hollywood:
Tuesday 7:30 p.m., Saturday 10:30 a.m., Sunday 10 a.m.
Burbank YMCA:

Wednesday, 8:30 a.m., Thursday 8 p.m., Friday 10 a.m.

For more information about classes, email me or visit the class schedule on the Yoga Bits blog.
Sat Nam,
Mary

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Love Your Yoga / Los Angeles 
The techniques and suggestions presented in Yoga Bits are not intended as medical claims or to substitute for proper medical advice. Consult your physician before beginning any new exercise program. If you are elderly or have any chronic or recurring conditions such as high blood pressure, neck or back pain, arthritis, heart disease, and so on, seek your physician's advice before practicing.