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Later in the same teacher training, we were invited (that's teacher-training-speak for "mandatory") to show up at 2:30 a.m. for a two-and-a-half hour group meditation using a mantra known as "Long Ek Ong Kaar." That's right. Two and one-half hours of chanting. Loudly. (Click on the video to hear Long Ek Ong Kaars, beautifully demonstrated by Krishna Kaur.) I was mighty intimidated, especially since we were going to have a full training day after the meditation. I know, I know. I thought they were insane, too.
However, a most unexpected thing happened. I loved it. LOVED! I didn't last the entire time -- I think I dropped off with about 45 minutes to go -- but when it was over I felt fantastic. I was calm, alert and on a natural high. I moved easily through training that day and floated home in a wonderful mood.
Then there was White Tantric Yoga, an intense and precise all-day meditation practice that clears subconscious blocks. The mere thought of it made me dizzy but it was another course requirement. And it would have to be because I wasn't about to volunteer to meditate for eight hours straight.
I was really frightened to go -- as in panic-stricken. I'd heard just enough about the practice to scare me witless. I would have to wear all-white, including a white head covering. Each mediation would last between 11 and 62 minutes with breaks in between -- but I would not know ahead of time what the schedule was for the day. The meditations were to be done in pairs and, rumor had it, they frequently involved staring into the eyes of a partner. *Gulp*
Without getting into specifics, I made it through, and accomplishing something so challenging boosted my self-esteem. Later I heard someone say that one day of White Tantric Yoga burns off 40 years of karmic cycle. That was enough to keep me coming back. By that calculation, in the past three years I have burned off about 400 years of old karma. And not a moment too soon, right? You can register here for the next Los Angeles workshop, which is this coming Saturday, November 12, at UCLA.
Had you suggested in the first couple of years of my yoga practice that I would someday do these meditations by choice, I would have rolled my eyes at you or simply ignored you for uttering such a preposterous thought. Yet I somehow kept going -- and ended up teaching no less. Why?
The answer is so simple: yoga makes me feel better.
Would the same activities make you feel better? Maybe. Maybe not. I do not know. Everyone is different and for that reason, we must experience a practice ourselves to determine its worth. My anecdotes are not intended to "sell" a particular technique or effect. They are illustrations of just how personal these experiences are -- and how an imperfect practice is still a practice.
So after your next yoga class (or any other activity for that matter), ask yourself how you feel. Is the "residue" of the practice in some way beneficial to you? Then let your experience be your guide toward your own answers.
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I wasn't always a yoga geek. I started out like many people: an inflexible, self-conscious newcomer so desperate for relief from my own life, which had imploded, that I was willing to be escorted to a yoga class.