10 Tips to Be Happy and... the Antidotes to Stress, Anxiety and Depression
Do good: Do something good, kind and thoughtful for someone regularly, if not daily. It will be even more satisfying if it's something that's inconvenient to you. It's easy to pick up milk if you are already going to the grocery store, it will mean more if you have to renounce a little something of yourself. Mother Theresa wrote: "It does not matter how much we give, but how much love we put in our giving". Recognize that these actions show your "true colors" and lets the best in you shine forth. Even if it's just a compliment or a smile, it will help you feel happier inside. Smiling helps make others more cheerful, and says to the other "I like you, I'm glad to see you". The more we do for others and rise out of our self-centeredness, the more meaningful life becomes.
Act with integrity: When you say you will do something, do it. When you make a promise keep it. Learn to be sincere with yourself and others. Don't lie or play games. Don't be afraid to apologize and show that you make mistakes. Saying to someone "I'm sorry you feel that way" is not an apology but rather is a way of avoiding taking responsibility for your part in the matter. Just like apologizing with "I'm so awful" is a trap to make the other feel sorry for you. Integrity invites the trust and respect of others, and forms the foundation for solid, fulfilling relationships.
Develop an attitude of gratitude: Be grateful mostly for the little things in your life. Give thanks for the meal you had, the comfortable bed you sleep in, the hot shower, a good friend. The best way to show your gratitude is to accept everything that comes to you in life with joy, whether easy or difficult and learn to see every challenge as an opportunity to become a better person. Then you can remain happy no matter what comes your way.
Practice silence: Silence and solitude nourish the soul. Contrary to what society leads us to believe, it's harmful to be plugged in 24/7. Find time to withdraw within, even a few moments can make a difference. You can't find peace in noise and agitation. So many people seem afraid of silence yet it's the only way to truly get recharged and to rejuvenate because it allows you to draw from the unlimited resources you have within you. In silence, you can experience the peace and the joy within you, then you can share this with others and your life will be very happy.
Pray & meditate: Life is difficult for all, for different reasons. You'll need all the help you can get. When you pray you discover you are not alone. Prayer and meditation are ways to establish a personal relationship with God. They are ways into your heart and soul where you can experience a sense of security and happiness that nothing in this material world can offer you.
Read and absorb wisdom: Daily read something inspirational, uplifting, spiritual or devotional to help develop a more positive outlook on life and to investigate the meaning of your life. It's important to learn from the lives of those who have achieved lasting happiness and who understand the deeper mysteries of life. Even reading a single quote everyday, and sitting silently, reflecting on this for a few moments, can change your attitude and state of happiness.
Change yourself: Examine yourself daily and evaluate how well you behaved in treating others. Never blame yourself for your shortcomings, but instead feel resolved to be a better person tomorrow than you were yesterday, so you can become happy with yourself. Be sincere. You know the truth about yourself better than anyone else. "Sincerity is humility". This will help you take the focus off trying to change others around you.
Tame your tongue; Learn to be loyal to those who are not present because this will build the trust of those who are present. When you gossip about those who are absent, you harm yourself in two ways. First, you set up those who are present to expect that you will do the same to them when they are not around. Second, your negative comments about others come back to you like a boomerang. They produce instant negative vibrations in your mind, body and soul and leave you feeling uneasy and guilty.
Rest: If you don't rest you become restless and grumpy. Our modern age looks at sleep as an inconvenience, because we have so much 'to do'. A billboard in Australia once read "sleep is ugly". It was an advertisement for a new class of stimulants that promised to keep you awake for 48 hours, without too many side effects. Unfortunately, we can't outdo mother nature. Busyness is a disease of modern times and it leaves people moving faster and feeling emptier and sicker than ever. Your sleep is essential to both your mental and physical well being, because your body heals when it's at rest. Naps are not a luxury, they are a necessity that most people don't permit themselves. Just remember no matter how fast you go, you're only heading for your grave.
Expect less: "Expectations are premature resentments" a friend taught me early on. When we expect ourselves or others to be a certain way, or for life to go 'my way' we set ourselves up for misery. We become rigid, impatient and intolerant. Look at what you set down on your "to do" list and take care that your list doesn't run your life.
I suggest you choose to work on one habit a year! The road to happiness can be challenging and takes time, effort and persistence.
Be Happy!
Written by: Claire Maisonneuve, M.A.
Registered Clinical Counsellor
Director of the Alpine Anxiety & Stress Relief Clinic
